As the Planet Namek Burns
by Chibi Mirai Gogeta
Summary: Well, it's done! Chapters 10 and 11 are up for reading! Enjoy peeps!
1. Super Saiya-jin 4? This isn't GT!

As the Planet Namek Burns...  
  
  
A/N: I don't own Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, or anything else I decided to just add in for a bit  
of comedy in this story. This takes place while Goku's in the healing tank Vegeta put him inside  
for about 5+ episodes so he could heal up and kick Freeza's butt later on. I decided to change  
the story just a little bit so we can get a good look on what was going on and I screwed the  
story up even more. You'll have to wait and see what I've added in to enjoy the story.  
  
Inside Freeza's pretty beat up ship in the medical room, Goku is floating around in a tank barely  
conscious while the others summon the Dragon of Namek. His eyes are closed when Vegeta feels  
something.  
  
"Oh s***!" cried Vegeta. "Those sons of b****es have summoned the Dragon!"  
  
Vegeta runs out leaving Goku alone inside the healing tank. After he leaves, Goku opens his eyes  
that were now blue. He seemed to have gone semi-Super Saiyan.  
  
'Hmmm... I wonder what's wrong with Vegeta,' thought Goku. 'If he kills my son...' His hair  
glowed gold in the water for a second. 'then I'll kill him!'  
  
Goku's anger made him a Super Saiya-jin, but he falls unconscious from it for only a few  
seconds. He wakes up and doesn't remember a thing. He senses Freeza has arrived and the  
Dragon disappeared.  
  
'Oh no,' thought Goku. 'Freeza has arrived! I wish I got better. I thought I would be healed  
by now!'  
  
Time passes. While things warm up outside, Goku decided to pull out a deck of waterproof cards to  
play Solitaire to keep things interesting. (Yeah, I know Goku's not good at puzzles, so I'm keeping that tradition alive!)  
  
*******  
  
Outside Freeza's spaceship, Freeza is charging up as Gohan, Vegeta, Dende and Krillin are looking  
at Freeza in shock. Gohan though wasn't scared because Freeza was changing into a powerful  
monster though. Oh no, he was scared of something far worse.  
  
"Don't tell me that you're stripping down to your sport's bra!" said Gohan.  
  
"No, I'm just changing into an evil monster," said Freeza.  
  
"Oh," said Gohan. "Are you going to get undressed?"  
  
"Gohan, he already broke his armor, so he's practically naked as it is!" said Krillin.  
  
"He is?" said Gohan."You're a sick b****, Freeza!"  
  
"Why are you calling me a b****?" said Freeza.  
  
"Because you sound like a woman!" said Krillin. "An old woman!"  
  
"Nice insults, but that will be your last," said Freeza as he finishes charging up.  
  
Everyone goes flying. Krillin catches Dende in his arms while Gohan looks at Krillin with a  
sweatdrop going down his head. Krillin has a scratch on his head  
  
"Krillin!" said Gohan in a hurt voice.  
  
"This isn't what it looks like, Gohan," said Krillin.  
  
"It better not be!" said Gohan.  
  
*******  
  
'Hmmm... I wonder if I should get out of this thing yet?' thought Goku as he flips a 9 of hearts  
on the 10 of clubs. 'I mean, I can move my arms easily now and I don't feel any pain, plus my  
son's in trouble... Oh crap! I got so distracted that I messed up my deck. I've got to start  
over.'  
  
Little did Goku know that while he was playing Solitaire, one of the guards came inside and sat  
down near the healing tank. (He looked very familiar.) Goku felt his energy and looked out the  
window of the tank. The guard looked like a Saiyan with a brown fuzzy tail and wore a bandana in  
his hair. His hairstyle mirrored Goku's as the man started to moan in pain. Goku tried to get  
out, but the man felt his energy somehow and coughed, as he seemed aware of Goku being there.   
Goku sat back down as the man began to speak to Goku.  
  
"Don't worry about me, Kakarot," said the man.  
  
"Huh?" said Goku through the mask.  
  
The man turned around. He looked like Goku, well he had scars on his face. He tapped his forehead  
as Goku got the message almost immediately. In moments, Goku and the man were both in a  
telepathic conversation.  
  
*So, who are you?* said Goku telepathically.  
  
*Kakarot, have you forgotten who I am?* said the man. *I am your father, Bardock.*  
  
*What?! No way!* said Goku. *Wait, are you dead?*  
  
*Yes,* said Bardock.  
  
*Dad, I see dead people,* said Goku. *I also talk to them since they're in the other world  
training with King Kai.* (I know that joke's getting old, but heck! I thought it was alright.)  
  
*Duh! I know that!* said Bardock. *Anyways, I've come to help you defeat Freeza, our planet's  
oppressor who destroyed everyone of our people,*  
  
*I'm not a Saiyan,* said Goku. *I deny being one since I don't know anything about them at all.*  
  
*That's not true,* said Bardock. *You know, but you don't want to accept it. You will become a  
powerful warrior and you will defeat Freeza!*  
  
*How?* said Goku.  
  
*You will become a Super Saiya-jin,* said Bardock. *Just like one did long ago. You will need to  
be able to put your feelings aside when you become one so that you can kill him!*  
  
*But I'm not a killer,* said Goku. *I don't want to kill anyone just because they...*  
  
*You have to or else he'll kill your son, your friends, and hell, he'll blow up Earth!* said  
Bardock.  
  
*NO!* cried Goku as he goes SSJ again.  
  
*What?!* said Bardock as the healing tank shone brightly. *A Super Saiya-jin this early? No. It's  
way too soon and besides, he's not even able to control it yet! I wonder if that little brat  
Vegeta is gonna die soon...*  
  
*******  
  
Meanwhile on the battlefield, Gohan feels a strong power. He is fighting Freeza after he nearly  
kills Krillin with his horns as he gets distracted a bit and gets pounded into the ground.  
  
"Father..." said Gohan before he passed out.  
  
*******  
  
The water inside the healing tank boiled, as a Super Saiyan was born, but after the light faded,  
Goku was once again unconscious. Bardock facevaults and mentally sighs as he shakes his head.  
  
*You had to bump your head when you were a baby, didn't you?* said Bardock. *I knew your mother  
should have sent you to the planet Wexit to finish purging it and kill all of those little  
insects, but nooo! Your mother and the other technicians had to send you off to Earth where you  
bumped your head and...*  
  
*******  
  
Bardock continues to ramble on as some explosions and cool music is heard in the background.  
Krillin is escaping Freeza when he pulls a picture of Bulma out of his pocket and flashes it at  
Freeza. Seeing this, he drools for a minute or so over the picture while Krillin gets away.  
  
"Where the hell are you?" said Freeza as he rubs his eyes. He drops the picture of Bulma while  
Gohan gets fully healed. Krillin arrives just in time to find Gohan back in shape.  
  
"Good," said Dende. "You're fully healed, Gohan."  
  
"That brat was holding back that power?" said Vegeta with a shocked face.  
  
"Where's my lollypop?" said Gohan as Dende facevaults.  
  
"I'll get you some ice cream later once we go back to Earth," said Krillin.  
  
"Yeah!" said Gohan.  
  
"Krillin, how dare you not tell me about the green bean's powers?" said Vegeta.  
  
"Hey, I didn't know until he healed me!" said Krillin.  
  
"Ah screw it," said Vegeta. "Freeza's back to kill us now."  
  
Freeza arrives and Gohan flies up they're to meet him followed by Krillin and Vegeta. But before  
Freeza could kill any of them, Piccolo finally arrives. He seemed to be more powerful than he  
did on Earth as Dende recognized who was in the cape and turban.  
  
"Nail?" said Dende.  
  
"Kid, you're not supposed to know that until the next episode," said Piccolo. "You screwed it  
up!"  
  
"Sorry," said Dende. "I'll go pick berries in the garden."  
  
*******  
  
Back on Freeza's spaceship, Bardock is still talking away.  
  
*...and of course, your brother, Radditz had an interesting power level when he was born since it  
was second that of the Prince's, * said Bardock as Goku remained asleep. *The only thing I  
didn't really like about him was the fact that he used this mysterious hair tonic to grow his  
hair out like a hippie and I freaked out because he looked like a woman with that long hair  
style.*  
  
*.......* said Goku as he continued to sleep.  
  
*You know, I'll be surprised once you grow out your hair like that. Except it will be blonde  
instead of black and at least you won't be stuck like it all the time,* said Bardock as he sat  
down in a comfy chair that seemed to appear out of nowhere. He reclined in it as he turned on  
the television. *Hmmm... The Cell Games...*  
  
"Come one, come all to the Cell Games that takes place in 5 years or less, depending on when I  
become perfect," said Imperfect Cell as he holds up pictures on two androids who we know and  
love. They were at least a huge improvement over Android #19, #20, and #16.  
  
*You know, I think your son is the ultimate fighter for a half-breed,* said Bardock. *I just wish  
your wife didn't make him study so Kami-d***ed much!*  
  
*******  
  
"Do you have any fives?" said Krillin as Vegeta, Gohan, and Dende were playing "Go-Fish" while  
Freeza and Piccolo duke it out.  
  
"D***! You lucky b******!" said Vegeta as he throws the card at Krillin.  
  
"Vegeta's got a potty mouth!" said Gohan as he and Dende laugh.  
  
"Shut the hell up!" said Vegeta. "I can't believe that I'm stuck babysitting again!"  
  
Vegeta pouts as Krillin laughs. Gohan and Dende had no pairs at all since Krillin seemed to have  
all of the cards. Vegeta gets angry and throws the table, scattering the cards across the blood  
soaked grass.  
  
"Shut-up!" said Vegeta as he holds Krillin.  
  
"Why?" said Krillin.  
  
"I know for a fact that you like mop-top over there," said Vegeta. "Just between you and me, I  
also like mop-top. If you don't like it, you can blast me to kingdom come for all I care!"  
  
"Hmmm... Okay!" said Krillin as he fires a blast the size of a torpedo inside Vegeta's chest as  
he goes flying into a cliff side.  
  
"Krillin! Why?" said Gohan.  
  
"He told me that he liked you too and I was jealous," said Krillin.  
  
"Oy!" said Dende. "I'm surrounded by gay-lings!"  
  
"Now I'm changing into my final form!" said Freeza as he pulls out some curtains and goes behind  
them.  
  
"Okay, that's really disturbing," said Dende.  
  
"Hey Dende," said Gohan. "Heal Vegeta."  
  
"No, he's worse than Freeza," said Dende.  
  
"Do it or else Piccolo will be mad at you," said Gohan. "Oh yeah, and so will Nail."  
  
"You're not supposed to know that, Gohan!" said Piccolo. "Dumb kids."  
  
*******  
  
*...and there was this one time Radditz pulled your cousin Taurus' tail pretending he was a dog  
on a leash,* said Bardock. (A/N: I know some of you think Taurus, Tales, etc. is Goku's brother.  
So, I decided that since this is a fanfic I'm making, he could be Goku's cousin. Well, very  
distant cousin anyways. ^_^)  
  
*...Nani?!* said Goku as he finally wakes up. *Thanks a lot dad. You could have waked me up, you  
know than bore me to death with your stupid stories! Freeza's gone into his final form!*  
  
*I guess that's not a good thing,* said Bardock. *Hey, when are you supposed to get better?*  
  
*Who knows,* said Goku. *It's been like over an hour now and I'm still in here. By the time I get  
out there, I'm going to have to bury Vegeta before fighting Freeza in his ultimate form!*  
  
*Funny you should say that,* said Bardock. *That's definitely what's going to happen.*  
  
*Dad!* said Goku. *Stop jinxing me!*  
  
*I'm not!* said Bardock. *I'm only telling the truth!*  
  
*******  
  
Freeza started to transform. All of the animals start running all over the place as monkeys (What  
the heck? Monkeys? O_o Well, Vegeta, Krillin, and Gohan are. No offense to you DBZ fans out  
there!), frogs, dinosaurs, and any other animal started to run wild in the wilderness. Bulma was  
thrown up by the stampede as she lands on a unicorn's back. The unicorn flies off as it flies  
into the sky where a company was creating their logo. Of course, with Bulma on the back of it,  
they got angry and left Namek without any trouble.  
  
'At last,' thought Vegeta. 'Freeza's finally going to show all of his power!'  
  
When the curtain rises, Freeza is in a silky pink robe. Everyone facevaults on the battlefield  
and Freeza's spaceship falls over in the distance.  
  
*******  
  
The force of the spaceship falling over knocks Goku out again. The impact throws Bardock into a  
conviently open closet, locking him in there for the time being. When Goku wakes up moments  
later, he smiles funny. However, it changed when Bardock climbs out of the open window on the  
top of the door and Goku facevaults inside the healing tank.  
  
*What?* said Bardock.  
  
*Nothing dad,* said Goku as he angrily starts to power up.  
  
*******  
  
"Let's go inside my spaceship, mop-top!" said Freeza as he kidnaps Gohan.  
  
"No! Gohan!" cried Krillin. "D***! Why do all the bad guys want to kidnap him?"  
  
"So they can have sex with him," said Vegeta as Dende stares at him funny. "Aren't you supposed  
to be dead, now?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm still alive somehow," said Dende.  
  
"Whatever," said Piccolo. "Come on!"  
  
*******  
  
"This time," said Freeza as he starts taking off his robe, "you can take off my sports bra!"  
  
Freeza giggles as Gohan screams.  
  
*******  
  
*GOHAN!!!!!!!* cried Goku. *Stupid healing tank! Why don't you heal me already?! I want to get  
out of here!*  
  
-Status unknown,- said the healing tank as Goku facevaults again. -Time remaining: 5 more  
episodes of Dragon Ball...-  
  
*Shut-up!* cried Goku as he goes SSJ2.  
  
*Wait a second,* said Bardock. *You can't even go Super Saiya-jin 2 until after the Cell Saga, so  
why are you doing it now?*  
  
*Why?* said Goku as his hair started growing down his back. *Because my son's about to get f***en  
raped!*  
  
Goku goes SSJ3. Bardock facevaults.  
  
*******  
  
In the other world, King Kai is looking down at Namek. All of the other dead Z Fighters pause in  
their fight against the Sailor Ginyu Force for a brief introduction.  
  
"I am Sailor Jaice!" said Jaice as he poses in his little dress.  
  
"I am Sailor Burter!" said Burter as he strikes a flashy pose in his dress.  
  
"I am Sailor Riccoom!" said Riccoom as he puts his finger to his mouth after kissing his finger.  
  
"And I'm Sailor Guido," said Guido not really thrilled because he hated playing Sailor Uranus a  
ton.  
  
"And in the name of the moon, we shall punish you!" said all of them.  
  
The Z Fighters had sweatdrops on the back of their heads. Bubbles and Gregory are both  
unconscious, but still had sweatdrops on the back of their heads since they found this whole  
situation a bit disturbing for children under 13. King Kai gasps at the horror on Namek at that  
moment.  
  
"Shame on you Freeza!" said King Kai.  
  
"Huh?" said Chou-su as the Z Fighters ignore the Sailor Ginyu Force.  
  
"What's going on?" said Tien.  
  
"It seems that Freeza's kidnapped Gohan," said King Kai.  
  
"GOHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried a familiar voice which made everyone facevault. "Oh  
wait a minute. I'm not dead, am I?"  
  
"Who are you?" said King Kai as he looked at the purpled hair youth in mystery that just arrived  
somehow by falling into a tree.  
  
"I'm no one important until next season," said the boy. "So, what's going on down on Namek?"  
  
"Do you know what's going to happen?" said King Kai.  
  
"Well...um not really," said the boy. A buzzer is heard.  
  
"Next person, Chou-zu," said Yamcha as the boy steps back while Chou-zu steps up.  
  
"Do you really care?" said Chou-zu.  
  
"Should I?" said King Kai.  
  
"You shou-" said Chou-zu before he was cut off by the buzzer.  
  
"Boy with purple hair," said Yamcha as the boy steps up again.  
  
"Will you train me?" said the boy.  
  
"Do you have any money?" said King Kai.  
  
"Do you take cash or credit?" said the boy.  
  
"How do you want to pay?" said King Kai.  
  
"How much does it cost?" said the boy.  
  
"What sessions do you want?" said King Kai  
  
"Is there a session that makes me bulkier?" said the boy.  
  
"If you try-" said King Kai before the buzzer was sounded by him.  
  
"Tien." said Yamcha as Tien steps up.  
  
"Is the fate of the Earth in trouble?" said Tien.  
  
"Do you know where my mother lives?" said the boy.  
  
"Do you know how to fight?" said Tien.  
  
"Do you want to see my sword?" said the boy.  
  
"Now that you mention it..." said Tien as the buzzer sounds a few times.  
  
"We'll be right back after this!" said Yamcha. "So don't go away!"  
  
The Sailor Ginyu Force cheers.  
  
"That was excellent!" said Burter.  
  
"Encore!" said Jaice.  
  
"We tried our best," said the Z Fighters, King Kai and the purple haired boy.  
  
*******  
  
"Gohan!" cried Krillin as he tries to ram open the door with his head.  
  
"Try all you want, but you will not get your little boy," said Freeza. "This door can only be  
broken down by a Super Saiya-jin who gets really p***ed off because I'm about to rape his son  
and somehow reached the fourth level before GT."  
  
Suddenly, the healing tank explodes and Goku in SSJ4 comes out and breaks open the door with his  
pinky. He goes inside the room and throws Freeza out the already broken window as Gohan stares  
strangely at his father. Krillin, Vegeta, Dende, and Piccolo are shocked.  
  
"What?" said Goku.  
  
"Umm... what just happened?" said Gohan.  
  
"Sorry, was my entrance too soon?" said Goku.  
  
"No, it's just that you're not supposed to be in that form kicking Freeza's a**!" said Vegeta. "I  
also know that's not until GT so get it right!"  
  
"Fine," said Goku as he powers down. "If any of you need me, I'll be in the healing tank across  
the hall."  
  
"What healing tank? You blew that one up?" said Krillin.  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot!" said Goku as everyone facevaults.  
  
"Son, the tank isn't broken anymore," said Bardock as he motions his son to the fixed up healing  
tank.  
  
"How did you repair it?" said Goku.  
  
"I'm a scientist, remember?" said Bardock as he sits Goku down into the healing tank.  
  
Will Goku heal in time? Will Krillin ever get to date Gohan? And what about Vegeta? Will he ever  
defeat Freeza or will Bardock's jinx actually come true? Why is Dende still alive? Why can't he  
just die already so I won't have to write him in this blasted story anymore?! Will Goku ever get  
the Super Saiya-jin transformation right, or will Bardock have to beat some sense into his only  
living son? Now that I think about it, why is Bardock hanging out with Goku? Isn't he supposed  
to be dead? Find out next time As the Planet Namek Burns...  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Like it? Hate it? Give me your comment. This is my second attempt at humor, so I'm trying to  
rekindle the flames that I've already received from some fans who didn't really like my first  
story, so flame away if you must, 'cause I'm going to have a Namek Stew later on tonight!  
  
Until next time, see ya!  
  
P.S. If you like to see more, I need some reviews, so fire away ya peeps!  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta * ^_-  
  



	2. Vegeta Dies, So What Else Is New?

Vegeta Dies, So What Else is New?  
  
  
  
A/N: I don't own them! This chapter is going to have humor and it's not really tragic. Just so you  
know, this is the second chapter of As the Planet Namek Burns. Last time, Goku is healing while   
Vegeta and the others are fighting their hearts out against Freeza. Who will win though? And  
why is Dende still alive?  
  
Dende: You kept me alive, Chibi Mirai Gogeta!  
  
Chibi Mirai Gogeta: Call me CMG for short.  
  
Dende: Anyways, was I supposed to die during the last chapter?  
  
CMG: Yes, but I screwed up. So now, you can die in this chapter with Vegeta. How's that?  
  
Dende: (sweatdrops) If you need me, I'm going to get a missle and aim it at CMG's website.  
  
CMG: Oh s***! (goes off to protect her rebuilt website) I already got screwed over by   
Homestead, but if it gets nuked, then who will come visit me?  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Goku is now inside the healing tank like he was supposed to be. To ensure Goku doesn't come out  
until he's fully healed, Bardock puts a ton of locks on the healing tank after securing Goku's body   
to the chair inside the tank with a bunch of rope and chains. He then starts torchuring Goku some   
more.  
  
"Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!" cried Goku. "I'd rather get a shot than stand this torchure!"  
  
*******  
  
"Wait a second," said Gohan as everyone leaves. "Who's going to untie me?"  
  
"Wait a second," said Krillin. "Gohan's right where I want him!"  
  
Krillin walks back inside the room to where Gohan is strapped down on a bed in handcuffs.  
  
"Untie me, Krillin!" said Gohan.  
  
"Not until you promise to marry me," said Krillin.  
  
"But I'm a boy and gay marriages aren't really allowed in most cultures on Earth!" said Gohan.  
  
"So? I can still make you look like a girl!" said Krillin as Piccolo walks in.  
  
"I don't think so," said Piccolo as he frees Gohan from the handcuffs by pulling a bobby pin from   
Gohan's short hair. It comes down to it's full length near the end of his back. (I like Gohan's hair  
this way, so back off!)  
  
"Where did that come from?" said Gohan.  
  
"Your mom must of accidentally dropped it in your hair when she was hugging you goodbye on  
earth," said Krillin. "D*** her!"  
  
"Now lets go and place bets at the bar to see if we can win some money on the fight!" said Piccolo as  
they go to the betting booth where some people are already placing their bets.  
  
"I've got 50 to 1 chance that Vegeta will lose," said the ticket man. "All the odds are really against  
Vegeta. So, who's up for the Spirit Bomb death? Come on, any takers?"  
  
"Sure," said Krillin as he puts $50 down that Goku will defeat Freeza hands down with a Spirit Bomb.  
  
"I'll take the ultimate power up bet," said Piccolo as he puts his $50 down for the Kaioken x20 death.  
  
"Let me take the Legendary Super Saiyan bet," said Gohan as he puts $100 down on his dad's own  
name as it states that Goku will defeat, but not kill Freeza. Krillin and Piccolo look at Gohan in shock.  
  
"You know that the chances of that happening are 10,000,000,000 (billion) to 1?" said Piccolo.  
  
"Yeah, so?" said Gohan.  
  
"If you lose, you lose everything," said Krillin.  
  
"And if I win?" said Gohan.  
  
"You win the chance to win your very own new spaceship!" said the announcer. "It is the Ginyu Spacepod  
that has the Ginyu Force's own brand on it that includes excellent life support systems, a comfy chair, and  
can take you across the galaxy striking fear in the hearts of millions of innocent lives! From The Freeza   
Corporation."  
  
"It's all or nothing," said Gohan as he gets his ticket.  
  
*******  
  
*Come on dad,* said Goku. *Let me out of here!*  
  
*No,* said Bardock as he watches Bambi on television.  
  
"Mother?" said Bambi. "Mother? Mother where are you?"  
  
*This movie is so sweet!* said Bardock as he laughs. *Ha! Take that you Little Prince of the Forest!*  
  
*Dad! How could you laugh at that?* said Goku as he gets angry. *Man shouldn't of shot Bambi's own  
mother! I can't watch this movie anymore!*  
  
Goku breaks out of the ropes and chains that kept him bound to the healing tank chair. He fires an energy  
blast at the door, disintergrating the television, and chair. Bardock dances around with his butt on fire.  
  
"My a** is on fire!" cried Bardock.  
  
"Well, so much for that," said Goku as he busts out of the spaceship and lands on top of it. "Ahhh... perhaps   
today is a good day to die." (Guess where I got that from? *cough*trekies*cough*)  
  
*******  
  
Freeza is still beating up on Vegeta as Piccolo, Gohan, and Krillin cheer on. Dende is still waiting to be killed   
as the others watch on quietly. Freeza blasts a energy shot that misses Vegeta and goes flying towards Dende,  
but sails over his head.  
  
"Hello?" said Dende. "I'm supposed to die so I can be revived later on!"  
  
"Whatever," said Freeza as he continues his fight with Vegeta.  
  
"YOU GAY B****! KILL ME! I DARE YOU!" said Dende.  
  
"I double dare you kill me, kid," said Freeza.  
  
"Well, I double dog dare you to kill me," said Dende.  
  
"He beat you there, Freeza," said Vegeta.  
  
"Fine," said Freeza as he fires a blast and Dende falls to the ground.  
  
"No! Dende!" said Gohan. "YOU B****!!!!!!"  
  
"Kami-d***it!" said Freeza. "Why do you keep calling me a f***en b****?!"  
  
"Because, you sound like a woman," said Vegeta. "Remember?"  
  
"I didn't ask you!" said Freeza as he hits Vegeta countless times before throwing him into the   
ground. "Now you'll get torchured."  
  
"So how are you going to torchure me?" said Vegeta. "Use a rock and scape it in my open hole in   
my chest plate?"  
  
"No, something far worse," said Freeza as he pulls out a communicator. "Bring me, The Ultimate  
Evil."  
  
Vegeta's eyes widened. "No, not that. Anything but that!"  
  
"But Master Freeza," said a man. "A-are you sure y-you want to use 'him'?"  
  
"Yes," said Freeza.  
  
"R-right away sir!" said a man.  
  
In a flash of light, a Saiya-jin appeared. He was tall and mighty. It was Barney. Vegeta screamed like  
a girl.  
  
"Hi there! It's me!" said Barney as Vegeta tried to cover his ears with his hands. However, he couldn't  
and the others watched on.  
  
*******  
  
Goku was standing on top of the spaceship still. He was standing there like an idiot since he had no idea  
where the fight was. Trying to focus, he was interrupted when an energy blast came close to hitting his head  
and barely had any time to dodge it.  
  
"Stupid energy blast," said Goku. "Now where was I?"  
  
"Son, aren't you going to even try to save Vegeta?" said Bardock.  
  
"In a minute," said Goku as he flexes his muscles in the reflection of a nearby window. "Oh you are so   
strong, Goku. Oh yes. Yes! YES! YES!! YES!!!"  
  
"Ummm... son," said Bardock with a sweatdrop over his head, "you're looking at me."  
  
Goku notices and puts his hand behind his head. "Oh yeah, right."  
  
Bardock facevaults. "Aren't you going to go now so I can stop babysitting you now?"  
  
"Fine," said Goku as he powers up and flies off.  
  
'Good luck, my son,' thought Bardock as he slowly fades away. 'I might as well get ready for later on by visiting   
my son again in a vision. Nah! I'm going to possess him and toy with Freeza!'  
  
*******  
  
Freeza was about to put the final blow on Vegeta, a kiss, when Goku arrives. Everyone cheers in the  
audience, and pulls out cameras. Freeza noticed Goku and stops what he's doing to Vegeta by dropping  
his half-dead body to the ground and turns towards Goku.  
  
"Hey, what's up?" said Goku as he walks forward after he lands. "I've seen what you tried to do to my son,   
and I will not allow you to do the same thing to anyone else."  
  
"Oh please," said Freeza. "I was just toying with him a bit before I killed him. Only a few rare people  
with that kind of talent get an opportunity to see what I can do to them."  
  
"Sick," said Gohan as he hides behind Piccolo.  
  
"It's alright, Gohan," said Piccolo. "I'm just as afraid as you are."  
  
"Hmph, take this!" said Freeza as he fires a thin beam with his finger, but Goku defected it. 'D***! He's  
pretty good!' "Alright now take all of these!"  
  
Freeza keeps firing blasts at Goku, but he managed to swat them away from Vegeta and all of his friends  
easily. Goku smirked as he looked at Freeza without a sweatdrop running down his face.  
  
"Well, that was a good introduction, but I guess you need to introduce yourself," said Freeza.  
  
"Certainly," said Goku. "My name is Goku, and I'm a Saiya-jin from Earth."  
  
"Why are you called Goku? I mean, why do you have a different name than Vegeta?" said Freeza. "He  
at least has a name that means vegetable!"  
  
"Idiot! His real name is Kakarot!" said Vegeta. "That's his Earth name and he's a Super Saiya-jin!"  
  
"Nani?!" said Freeza. "Ah, no wonder he looks familiar! He's the spawn of the man I killed long ago! His  
name means carrot."  
  
"Jerk," said Bardock's voice out of nowhere as everyone, except Goku looks around.  
  
"He's became something so powerful that he'll kick your a** across the galaxy, you b****!" said Vegeta  
as he started laughing at Vegeta.  
  
"I TOLD YOU THAT I'M NOT A B****!" said Freeza as he shoots a beam at Vegeta, which pierces his  
armor near his heart. "Now you're dead."  
  
"You guys really did p*** Freeza off, didn't you?" said Piccolo.  
  
"We tried not to!" said Krillin. "He has a old woman's voice though!"  
  
"Whatever," said Freeza. "I was starting to get tired of him babbling about that stupid myth anyways. Why  
I even bet there isn't such a thing as a Super Saiya-jin!"  
  
"It's n-not a my-th first off," said Vegeta in between breaths, "and as I remember, I-I didn't really talk about   
it much, so h-how the f***en world d-did you k-know about i-it?"  
  
"Your father told me of this legend long before your birth," said Freeza. "He said the last one who went  
Super Saiya-jin went crazy and took candy from a baby! He also destroyed planets, galaxies, and also  
somehow managed to get on a sitcom."  
  
"Ka-Ka- ah the hell with it!" said Vegeta. "Goku, the reason I'm not calling you by y-your Saiya-jin name  
is because y-your dad g-gave you a f-fr-freaken long name!"  
  
"Shut-up!" said Bardock's voice as Vegeta noticed that Goku's mouth seemed to move.  
  
"B-Bardock?" said Vegeta.  
  
"In the flesh," said Bardock through Goku's body.  
  
"Oh s***!" said Freeza. "He's possessed a Saiya-jin's body!"  
  
"Yeah, so what else is new?" said Bardock. "My son can still hear this conversation, it's just that I only  
am talking temporarly. Wait until you fight him!"  
  
Freeza shudders. He was not used to hearing a Saiya-jin coming back from the dead so he could possess  
his son in some way just to try and get revenge on a nearly extinct race.  
  
"Anyways, my son isn't a killer, so I'll try to keep him in line with his destiny," said Bardock as he frees  
Goku from possession.  
  
"Dad!" cried Gohan as his father shakes his head.  
  
"Huh?" said Goku. "How did I get here? Oh yeah. Now you were saying Vegeta?"  
  
"Oh, right," said Vegeta. "D-defeat F-Freeza and a-a-avenge our race *cough!* or else he'll kill your  
son, your friends, and rule this universe for an eternity..."  
  
"Wait a second, he didn't get immortal life, did he?" said Goku.  
  
"Oh yeah, silly me," said Vegeta. "H-he came close to m-making h-his wish, but the Dragon has already  
k-kicked the bucket, s-so it's all up to you to k-kill him, Kakarot!"  
  
"Why won't you just die you dirty rat?" said Freeza.  
  
"Monkey," said Vegeta.  
  
"Whichever," said Freeza.  
  
"Do it, d-don't let him make a-anyone e-else like me or they'll regret it," said Vegeta.  
  
"Ummm... Vegeta, you better stop talking," said Goku. "You seem a bit pale and you're losing a ton  
of blood, and you're dying."  
  
"Ah the hell with it," said Vegeta. "Just so you k-know, I want y-you to defeat Freeza as a..."  
  
"I get the point Vegeta, I'll try to become a Super Saiya-jin, now shut the hell up!" said Goku as he noticed  
Vegeta's hand go up.  
  
"Fine, just so you know, I've really came close to dying back on Earth, and I-I love..." said Vegeta before  
he coughs up more blood, "...cheese."  
  
Suddenly, Vegeta's hand falls and he takes one final breath. The wind blows as Goku looked down at the  
fallen Prince of the Saiya-jins. Leaning down, he stuffs a piece of cheese in his mouth.  
  
"Well, that's the last bit of cheese I had," said Goku. "I got it from a mousetrap from the ship, so enjoy."  
  
"Ewww!" said everyone except Freeza.  
  
"I'm glad that cheese isn't going to waste," said Freeza.  
  
Goku turns around and makes a hole in the ground with a twitch of his eyes. Gohan is surprised as Goku picks  
up Vegeta's body. Putting him in the hole, he starts to bury him.  
  
"Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home," sang Goku as Piccolo, Gohan, and Krillin join in while  
Freeza watches with interest. "Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home..."  
  
Somehow, Dende seemed to get up and walk over to where Vegeta was buried. He was still alive somehow and  
was covered in grass stains.  
  
"You didn't quite kill me, but heck," said Dende. "I guess I should be the minister for this scene before I get  
killed again."  
  
The heroes bow their heads as Goku bows before Vegeta's makeshift grave.  
  
"We are gathered here today, to pay our respects to an evil man, who was influenced somehow by a gay b****  
to kill so many innocent lives," said Dende as the group snickered, pretending to cry. "If anyone has any words  
about him, please let Kami hear them now."  
  
"I have some words to say," said Goku. "Vegeta, even though you were an arrogant man and had the pride the  
size of Texas, I want you to know that I will..."  
  
"Okay, anyone else," interrupted Dende.  
  
"Yes, DIE BRAT!" said Freeza as he nukes Dende off the island, killing him for good.  
  
"JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKK!!!!"  
cried Dende as he dies on another island.  
  
"Oh well, I guess kids seem to goof off too much," said Freeza.  
  
"Can we fight now?" said Goku. "I'm really starting to hate having to hear you boast about how you're  
going to hurt my friends and I want to stop wasting time now!"  
  
"Fine," said Freeza.  
  
"Freeza..." said Bardock's voice as Goku gets possessed again. "Prepare to welcome your demise!"  
  
Freeza screams like the little girl he is as Goku regains control.  
  
"D***it dad! Stop possessing me!" said Goku.  
  
"Well excuse me, Kakarot!" said Bardock's voice echoing inside Goku's mind.  
  
"I think my daddy's gone crazy, Krillin," said Gohan. "Hold me!"  
  
"Okay," said Krillin as he hold Gohan, but a bit after Gohan said this, he throws Krillin in the air where  
some hunters shoot him since he looked like a duck.  
  
"Sorry," said Gohan as Krillin landed with holes in his armor.  
  
"Why me?" said Krillin.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It seems that Dende's finally dead! However, so is Vegeta and Goku is the only surviving Saiya-jin left alive who  
can stop Freeza. Will Bardock ever stop possessing Goku? Will Krillin ever get over Gohan and actually get a  
girlfriend? Will Gohan win the bet? Will Goku be able to go Super Saiya-jin or is the whole legend or myth a lie   
made only to cause chaos or confuse a ton of people about the truth? If so, how will Goku stop Freeza? The odds   
are against our hero as we leave off until next time As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
Sorry this chapter was shorter than the other. I ran out of good ideas since I'm working on an empty stomach. Oh  
well. After I eat a ton or two of Namek Stew that I've been roasting over a fire for the past few hours, I should be  
able to write some more. But first, I need to find some more of that Asagi plant or whatever Dende calls it can add  
some more spice to my dinner. If not, then I'll have to use some salt since it's mostly a vegetable soup I've made  
with water, rice, carrots, radishes, asparagus, and brocolli.  
  
Until next time, see ya. Flame me if you wish so I can kindle the fires to keep my soup from getting cold. Now  
where did Goku, Gohan, and Vegeta go? They should be here for dinner I have made especially for them. ^_^  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta * 


	3. The Dead Saiya-jin's Picnic

The Dead Saiya-jin's Picnic  
  
  
A/N: They are not mine! I swear! This is my third installment for those of you who asked for more of this   
story. Sorry about last episode with the Bardock-bashing as well as the Dende-bashing. Don't worry   
though. This chapter is mainly Freeza-bashing and it will begin to get a bit interesting since I finally began   
to think of more things to write in the next upcoming chapters. It's also a bit emotional, so have some tissues   
in handy. When we last left our story, Goku finally escapes Freeza's ship after managing to get out of the   
healing tank that Bardock locked him in for most of the battle. Vegeta tells Goku to kick Freeza's a** as   
a Super Saiya-jin and Dende gets killed after the funeral for Vegeta. Will good triumph in this episode? Find  
out today on As the Planet Namek Burns to find out.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Well monkey," said Freeza after he gets over his shock. "Are you ready to fight?"  
  
"Wait a minute," said Goku as he picks some flowers in a nearby meadow. He lays them on Vegeta's   
grave and ties a small piece of ribbon around the flowers. The good guys facevault. "I know I should   
keep the tradition alive after the funeral we had, so here's to you, Vegeta." Goku gets up and faces   
Freeza again. "Okay. Let's start!"  
  
"Before we begin, I hope you know that your chances at winning are pretty low, so let's go ahead and play   
just a little bit, shall we?" said Freeza.  
  
"Fine by me," said Goku as he pulls out a deck of cards. "So what game is it going to be, Freeza?"  
  
"How about Strip Poker," said Freeza.  
  
"Wait a second, you're not wearing any clothes," said Goku.  
  
"That's the fun of it," said Freeza with a blush across his face.  
  
"I know what you're up to and I don't like it already!" said Goku as he lurged at Freeza, dropping his cards  
on the ground.  
  
*******  
  
Meanwhile in the other world, Bardock is convincing Vegeta and his dad to come along to irratate Freeza   
while Goku's fighting. They agree and they go to Namek inside a police cruiser they hi-jacked off Snake   
Way that was able to take them through space since it's high tech. When they get there, they see Goku,   
but he didn't notice them since he was at the time encased in a barrier.  
  
"Time for some havoc!" said Vegeta as he possesses Gohan.  
  
"I like this gag!" said Bardock as he possesses Goku again.  
  
"I guess the Namek's mine," said King Vegeta.  
  
"Are you finished?" said Bardock.  
  
"What?!" said Freeza.  
  
"Dad!" said Goku as he tries to shake off his father's presence.  
  
"Kakarot," said Vegeta inside Gohan's body. "We have come to help you."  
  
"Yeah, so shut-up!" said King Vegeta in Piccolo's body.  
  
"Not now," said Goku. "I need to get through this part without any help right now since we aren't seriously  
fighting just yet."  
  
"Fine," said all three Saiya-jins as they go into the car to chill.  
  
"Hey, can you order a pizza while you're over there?" said Gohan.  
  
"Sure!" said Vegeta as he calls the pizza place. "Hello? Yes I would like to order..."  
  
"This is nuts," said Freeza.  
  
"Yep," said Goku. "Now where were we?"  
  
"Playing," said Freeza.  
  
"Oh yeah, that's right," said Goku as he tries to get out of the barrier that Freeza put him in.  
  
"You'll die if this thing hits anything other than me," said Freeza as he throws Goku around as he goes flying.  
  
"Yahoo!" said Goku.  
  
"'Yahoo'?" said Piccolo. "Ooooookkkkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyy..."  
  
'Father, why do you embarass me so?' thought Gohan as he puts a paper bag over his head.  
  
Suddenly, a large boom is heard as it ripped through the land. Krillin and the others look out and notice that   
Freeza might of killed Goku since he was no where to be seen at all as the Saiya-jin panic. Gohan looked at   
his betting slip, but kept an urge not to tear it up.  
  
"Dad," said Gohan.  
  
"Gohan, take off that stupid bag," said Piccolo as he snatches the bag from over Gohan's head. "He's not   
dead and there's nothing really to be embarrassed about since he seems to be still alive."  
  
Out of the smoke, stood Goku, a bit breathless, but still in once piece. Little did Goku know that his tail   
fell off of his body from behind him, but he didn't really notice since as I said before, he was still in one   
piece. Well, minus the tail that somehow grew back anyways, but the hole in his pants mysteriously seals   
up without any thread.  
  
"Dad had a tail for a minute there," said Gohan. "I wonder if I'll grow another one."  
  
"Probably not since you're a bit too old to have one," said Vegeta.  
  
"F*** you, Vegeta!" said Gohan.  
  
"Come here then," said Vegeta as Gohan readies another energy blast at Vegeta.  
  
"Shut-up both of you," said Piccolo as he knocks out Gohan. (Okay, I know I said more Freeza-bashing,   
but I'm now bashing Gohan a little. Sorry Gohan fans! *waves a small white flag*) "Well kid, I hope you   
know that you're still pretty small, but I know you'll get bigger when you get older."  
  
"So, you come here often?" said Freeza.  
  
"Not really," said Goku as they float up in the air close to each other. Freeza lunges out towards Goku and   
gets him into a bear hug.  
  
"Cry for me!" said Freeza as Goku screams.  
  
"Dad!" cried Gohan as he instantly bolts upright. "Let him go you b****!"  
  
"Gohan!" said Piccolo.  
  
"Well, he is!" said Gohan.  
  
"Potty mouth," said Piccolo under his breath.  
  
"What did you say?" said Gohan.  
  
"Nothing," lied Piccolo.  
  
As Freeza squeezes Goku in a bearhug, Goku's eyes flash blue again (that of a Super Saiya-jin's mind   
you) as his energy seemed to glow in a small golden color for a minute as he managed to get out of   
Freeza's bearhug. Shocked there for a second, Freeza notice Goku's eyes changed color.  
  
"How did you do that?" said Freeza.  
  
"Do what?" said Goku.  
  
"Change your eyes colors?" said Freeza.  
  
"What in the hell are you talking about?" said Goku as his eyes returned to normal.  
  
"I must be seeing things," said Freeza.  
  
"Hey, my dad's eyes changed colors for a brief moment," said Gohan.  
  
"Do you think that he might be on the verge of becoming a Super Saiya-jin?" said King Vegeta.  
  
"Well, a little," said Vegeta as he smirked. "Let's just wait a bit longer before we interfere."  
  
"Right," said Bardock as the pizza boy arrives.  
  
"That will be $1,259,843.07," said the pizza boy as he puts down about 10,000,000 pizza boxes  
on the ground.  
  
"Do you take American Express?" said King Vegeta.  
  
*******  
  
"It seems like Goku is giving everything he has in this battle," said King Kai as the others gathered  
around him.  
  
"Wait! He still has the Kaioken attack up his sleeve, doesn't he?" said Tien.  
  
"Yeah! Kaioken!" cried the boy as he gets burned badly. "I'M ON FIRE! HELP!"  
  
Yamcha drops a fire stuffing blanket on the boy as it also burns. About 20 seconds later, the boy was no  
longer on fire and most of King Kai's planet was burned to ashes. The Sailor Ginyu Force's dresses were  
also burned off, so they had to change back into their Ginyu force outfits. Yes, even King Kai's precious  
car was burned to ashes as King Kai holds a giant paddle meant for the purple haired youth. He was   
however at that moment disappearing like he never was supposed to be there.  
  
"D***!" said King Kai. "Whoever you are kid, I hope you never come back!"  
  
"So, what's the scoop on Goku now?" said Tien.  
  
"Well as I was saying before that brat interrupted," said King Kai as the scene flashes back on  
Namek, "is that Goku's been using the Kaioken Attack the freakin' entire time! In other words,   
he's screwed!" Goku is getting pounded by Freeza's attacks and thrown into a pillar where he breaks  
through and is no longer surrounded by his attack as Freeza walks up to him.  
  
*******  
  
"Well, it looks like you have no fight left inside you," said Freeza. "Give up, and I won't kill you so  
quickly."  
  
Goku gets up. Vegeta and the others, except Piccolo, Freeza, and Goku are eating pizza when Vegeta  
mentally curses himself on the bad timing for eating and motions his father and Bardock to get ready to  
help Goku. Bardock and King Vegeta restrain Freeza.  
  
"What's going on?" cried Freeza. "I-oof!"  
  
"He's frozen in time," said Bardock. "Now talk to him, Vegeta."  
  
"Okay," said Vegeta as he starts talking to Goku. *Kakarot, I am the Ghost of the Saiya-jin Race.*  
  
"Vegeta," said Goku, "but I thought you were-"  
  
*Well, I still am, now come with me,* said Vegeta as he holds out his hand to Goku and he takes it   
willingly as they appear in an empty blue void. For a moment, Goku didn't know where Vegeta was at.  
  
"Hey Vegeta," said Goku. "Where are we?"  
  
"At this moment, we are drifting in a void where no one can hear you scream," said Vegeta with his   
back to Goku. "This place is made by my will... well okay, my father and your father's wills as well. We   
brought you here to give you some encouragement."  
  
"How are you three going to encourage me after all the havoc you've already caused?" said Goku.  
  
"We have our ways," said Vegeta. "Now pay attention so I won't have to kick your a** just to get it  
through your head. I want you to accept your heritage and forget your emotions. They will only get you  
killed and Freeza cannot change. Got it?"  
  
"Now what was that again about my heritage?" said Goku as he starts writing this down in a notebook.  
  
"Idiot!" said Vegeta as he snatched the notebook from his hand. "Accept your pride or else he will defeat  
you. Kakarot, you are the only one full-blooded Saiya-jin left and I order you accept who you are. Do it or   
else I will haunt you!"  
  
"No! Anything but that!" said Goku.  
  
"Good," said Vegeta as he turns to face Goku. "Destroy him!"  
  
King Vegeta appears out of nowhere as he joins Vegeta: "Destroy him and avenge our deaths!"  
  
Bardock appears and the three Saiya-jin respond: "Destroy him for you have the power within you!"  
  
Bardock and King Vegeta vanish. Vegeta is the only one left standing there in the void as he looks at  
Goku with a plea in his eyes, yet seemed as stubborn as usual. Goku noticed his eyes piercing his body,  
making him nervous as his power started to awaken. Since Vegeta was begging him to do what it took to   
kill Freeza, he began to try and help Goku grasp his hidden power a bit more.  
  
"Now go Kakarot. It is time. Kick that b****es a** for me!" said Vegeta as the void around Goku   
disappeared. Bardock and King Vegeta let go of Freeza as he comes to quickly.  
  
"Hello?" said Freeza who didn't remember anything about what just occured moments ago. "Are you home  
so we can continue our fight?"  
  
"Huh?" said Goku. "Oh yeah, sure."  
  
"What happened to my dad?" said Gohan as the other fighters noticed Goku's mysterious disappearance.   
"He just disappeared in a deep blue light and reappeared a bit shocked."  
  
"Yeah, now where is my pizza?" said Vegeta.  
  
Freeza and Goku continue their fight. Goku was still losing terribly 'cause he just didn't know how to beat   
him since he was not even trying anymore at all. Freeza smacks Goku into the water and keeps his head   
under water so he could drown. Goku struggled to get out, but he soon gave up as his arms dropped back   
under. He then stopped breathing  
  
"Now, the last of the Saiya-jins is out of the picture," said Freeza, "I will now mock them without them  
getting p***ed off!"  
  
*******  
  
Goku is under the water. He admitted defeat as he just stayed afloat there due to Freeza having his feet  
on top of his head. As he felt his body starting to sink a bit at a time, his spirit seemed to also sink as he  
found himself wrapped in his own visions. Well, it's that or else Bardock chose the right moment to possess  
him again since he was getting bored.  
  
*Kakarot,* said Bardock's voice, *you cannot give up. Your family, your friends, and your planet Earth need   
you, my son...*  
  
*I cannot protect them, father,* said Goku. *I've failed to live up to your expectations and I deserve to die  
like this.*  
  
*I hate you,* said Bardock. *YOU WERE NEVER MY SON!*  
  
*Well, you're the one who just let me go out in space as a baby so I could destroy my home!* said Goku.  
  
*That's it,* said Bardock. *I now disown you!*  
  
Goku's eyes opened underwater in shock. 'He disowns me? That b****** cannot disown me! I am his   
son!' thought Goku as his anger started to surface.  
  
Freeza is standing there on Goku's head still as he thinks about what to do with his spaceship after he was  
done playing on Namek. Vegeta and his dad were finishing off their 9,999,999th pizza box at that time as the  
good guys look down from the cliff at where Freeza was standing.  
  
"Daddy!" cried Gohan in shock when he noticed that Goku's energy was gone.  
  
"Now it's time for all of you to perish!" said Freeza as he was about to get off Goku's head.  
  
Suddenly, he noticed the water boiling all around him.  
  
"Yea! Changling soup!" said Vegeta as he licked his lips.  
  
However, Vegeta's little celebration didn't last long since he saw the water part as Freeza was pushed   
away by violent winds. He goes flying up into the sky as Goku rises from the water really p***ed off at   
Freeza. He screamed as Bardock quickly flies back to the safety of the other two Saiya-jins on the cliff.   
Goku bats Freeza to the ground after he raised his Kaioken up to 20x and gets ready to blast Freeza with   
his ultimate attack.  
  
"Ka-" cried Goku as he flies towards Freeza. "me... ha..." Goku's voice echoed as Freeza saw him  
coming right at him and dodges Goku's punch. "me..." Goku places his hands together in his famous   
attack in the whole Dragon Ball series and fire his blast at Freeza. "ha!!!!!!!!"   
  
(This is an actual scene that I thought ruled, so I kept that original enough since it rocks! And besides,   
FUNimation really did mess that scene up since Goku was preparing the Kamehameha while he was   
charging at Freeza! I got the video clip from a website that proves it too, but too bad it's gone now, or I   
would of given you the URL to it. Oh well.)  
  
Freeza grunted as he tried to keep the energy blast from hitting him. Goku kept pushing as much as his   
energy as he could manage into the blast. A huge explosion rocked Namek after Freeza put his own blast  
in and everyone almost went flying. Bulma went flying farther away. (I know I forgot about the Captain   
Ginyu thing, but heck! Who needs to see him trying to hurt Gohan anymore than already needed   
anyways?) When the explosion cleared, everyone looked up into the sky. Goku was tired from doing  
his powerful attack and Freeza was still alive, but his left hand was burned.  
  
"Oh it's hot!" cried Freeza as he flies down to the lake and sticks his left hand in the still boiling water  
to burn it even further. (A "cold" joke, folks) "Oh Kami! It hurts!"  
  
"Dang it!" said Piccolo as he tears up his betting ticket. "So much for the Kaioken x20 attack. I'm out  
of the pot!"  
  
All of the fighters were laughing at Freeza for being such a weakling and Goku realized what he had  
to do at that point to defeat Freeza. So, he lands and doesn't move there at all with his arms up in the  
air. Freeza had to go to the nearby tundra to get some ice that was already melting in his hands as he  
notices Goku had his arms in the air.  
  
"What is he doing?" said Piccolo.  
  
"I think he's giving up," said Vegeta as he and the other Saiya-jin laugh.  
  
"No, I think he's making a Spirit Bomb," said Gohan.  
  
"Oh, so this is how he made the Spirit Bomb I threw at Vegeta," said Krillin as Vegeta gasps at  
that comment.  
  
"I hope you know that I still hate you," said Vegeta. "Let's go boys!"  
  
The Saiya-jin get into the police cruiser and drive back to hell. Krillin, Gohan and Piccolo notice that  
the Spirit Bomb was getting huge, and Bulma finds herself on an island with a bed, so she goes to sleep  
for awhile. A white aura glows around Goku as he continues to hold his hands in the air.  
  
"Ummm... what are you doing?" said Freeza.  
  
"None of your business," said Goku as some water springs out of the ground in front of him.  
  
"Can I still beat you up?" said Freeza.  
  
"Sure, just don't do it too much," said the absent-minded Goku.  
  
Freeza starts kicking Goku around and slams Goku into the ground, but he got up and pushed his  
hands in the air again. Getting p***ed off, Freeza hits Goku hard and he goes flying to the opposite  
side of the lake. Goku flies through a dock and breaks a wooden ship before hitting the shore line  
as Freeza comes closer to him.  
  
"We need to help him!" said Piccolo. "Give me your energy!"  
  
Gohan and Krillin give Piccolo some of his energy as Freeza comes closer to Goku as he tries to keep his  
hands up in the air. Freeza gets too close and Goku has enough sense to kick Freeza away with his foot  
and still manage to continue making the Spirit Bomb. Freeza falls underwater and starts swimming towards  
Goku slowly.  
  
"The earth, the trees, the weird creatures on this planet and stuff like that, please give me some of your  
energy so I can take that b**** down," said Goku. "From anything out there that might have any energy  
inside of it, including my own spaceship as well as Freeza's, lend me your strength." Energy slowly gathers,  
but Goku knew that it wouldn't be enough. "I need more from the other planets, even if it's from deserts,  
biological things, cars parked in driveways, and rocks..."  
  
On another planet that is overpopulated by cars in driveways, the energy starts to flow from them as well as  
any biological thing also living on that planet for some strange reason. Another planet, which had nothing but  
a bunch of rocks and sand also began giving some of it's energy. Out in space above Namek, a large cluster  
of energy started to come towards Namek as Goku keeps trying to gather more energy. However, Freeza  
comes out of the water and sticks his finger in Goku's face.  
  
"Wanna see my booger?" said Freeza as he charges up his instant death attack.  
  
"Uhhh... no?" said Goku as Piccolo finished charging up and flies towards Goku.  
  
"Hang on, Goku!" cried Piccolo as he knocks Freeza off of him.  
  
"Thank you, Piccolo," said Goku as he gets out of the water and lands on top of the island.  
  
"Just finish your f***en Spirit Bomb," said Piccolo before he was interrupted by a punch in his  
mouth from Freeza.  
  
"So you're still alive, huh?" said Freeza.  
  
"Duh," said Piccolo. "Dende healed me, remember b****?"  
  
"Stop calling me a b****!" said Freeza as he backhands Piccolo in the face.  
  
"You b**** slapped me!" said Piccolo as he punches Freeza in the gut. "Goku! How much longer until  
you finish your Spirit Bomb?"  
  
"I think I'll finish it in another episode," said Goku.  
  
"You are so f***ing worthless," said Piccolo.  
  
"I know," said Goku. "Now keep fighting or else I won't save Earth next time!"  
  
*Yeah, your son will though,* said Bardock's voice.  
  
"DAD! WILL YOU GET OUT OF MY HEAD?" whined Goku.  
  
*Well, at least I'm trying to help!* said Bardock's voice.  
  
"My dad 'really' needs some help," said Gohan.  
  
"He could see Dr. Gero," said Krillin.  
  
"Who's he?" said Gohan.  
  
"Some evil doctor that used to be the head of Red Ribbon Army when Goku destroyed them,"  
said Krillin. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"Just wondering," said Gohan.  
  
The energy continues to gather and finally, the Spirit Bomb seems to be falling from the sky as Goku  
felt a strong energy sign. He smiled and looked up at the Spirit Bomb. Piccolo is grounded at this time  
and is about to be killed by Freeza, but Gohan and Krillin save Piccolo with a single energy blast at him  
from both sides.  
  
"Why can't you guys just die!" cries Freeza. "Now I'm going to destroy this whole planet!"  
  
Freeza starts creating a death bomb as he floats higher in the air. Everyone, except Goku is scared to  
death. Piccolo runs over and starts shaking Goku.  
  
"That Spirit Bomb better be done!" said Piccolo. "If not, we're screwed!"  
  
"It's done, I was just waiting for the moment to throw it," said Goku. "and it's NOW!"  
  
The Spirit Bomb starts decending from the sky as Freeza looks up at it. "Oh, it's so warm, so pretty,   
and IT'S COMING RIGHT AT ME! OH S***!!!!" said Freeza.  
  
"I thought it would take you another episode to finish that f***en thing!" said Piccolo as he and Goku  
start running.  
  
"Well, I can't tell how much time an episode of Dragon Ball Z lasts," said Goku. "HIT THE DECK!"  
  
Piccolo and Goku hit what remained of the ship's deck and cowered under a tiny umbrella. On the cliff  
where Gohan and Krillin was at, they go into the basement. Bulma wakes up and hides under the bed to  
try and escape the explosion. As the Spirit Bomb started to decend from the sky, Freeza was underneath  
it as he screams.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Freeza.  
  
Suddenly, the camera starts to get static, and the scene ends there.   
  
*******  
"Hey! Freeza's dead!" said King Kai.  
  
"No he's not!" said Jaice. "Didn't you read the last sentence?"  
  
"Shut-up!" said one of the Tien's as he boots Jaice off King Kai's planet.  
  
"Yeah!" said the other Tien as he boots Burter of the planet.  
  
"Get out of here!" said Yamcha as he fires a blast at Riccoom and he flies off of the planet.  
  
"And don't come back!" said Chou-zu as he blasts Guido off the planet.  
  
They all fall in hell where they spend the rest of eternity burning alive.  
  
"AHHHHH!!!!!" cried the Ginyu Force.  
  
"Yeah!" rejoiced the dead Z Fighters.  
  
"Hey, you guys!" said King Kai. "The picture's coming back now, so we can watch what's goin to   
happen next now!"  
  
The Z Fighters gather around and look down at Namek.  
  
*******  
  
When the static clears, a crater is in the ground as Piccolo picks up Goku with his other arm. Gohan and   
Krillin fly over to them and are smiling as Goku gives the victory sign. When they get there, a reporter   
comes out of nowhere and arrives on the scene. Goku then passes out again in exhaustion.  
  
"Tell me, how did you defeat Freeza with the Spirit Bomb?" said the reporter.  
  
"Hold on a minute," said Piccolo as he slaps Goku in the face. "Wake up d*** you! We need to fill the   
reporter in with the details since the camera missed some of the scenes!"  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah," said Goku as he gets up. "Before the camera went on a fritz," Cue flashback. "I saw  
the Spirit Bomb falling as I felt the ground beneath Piccolo and myself break away. When it hit, we were  
flung about a mile into the ocean. I felt myself sinking again, but Piccolo luckily grabbed on to my hand  
and swam towards the shore."  
  
"Krillin and I were thrown into the air, but I managed to stay aloft and see a pretty rainbow," said Gohan.  
  
"Is there anything else?" said the reporter.  
  
"Well, I think Freeza's dead now, so the universe's safe and we can all go home," said Goku.  
  
"I wouldn't be too sure about that," said the reporter as he jumped up on a cliffside and removed his coat  
and hat to reveal who he really is.  
  
"FREEZA!!!!!!!" cried everyone.  
  
"Now I'm out," said Krillin as he tears up his ticket.  
  
"In the flesh and I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR CUTTING MY TAIL OFF AGAIN!" cried Freeza as he  
shoots a beam at Goku.  
  
"No!" cried Piccolo as he shoves Goku and Goku away and gets zapped.  
  
"Piccolo!" cried Goku and Gohan as Piccolo fell to the ground.  
  
"NO! PICCOLO!" cries Gohan as he cries over his fallen mentor's side. "YOU B****!"  
  
"I'll kill you after I kill my next target," said Freeza as he shoots another beam that hits Krillin. 'Why is  
there 4 people standing? I thought I shot that Namek!' (My question exactly if you pay attention to when  
Krillin's about to be killed in the original episode.)  
  
"Huh? Ahh! That b**** got me!" said Krillin.  
  
"For the final time, I am not a b**** and you will die for calling me that!" said Freeza.  
  
"KRILLIN!" cried Gohan.  
  
"YOU MOTHERF***ING B****!" cried Krillin before he exploded. "AHHHHH!!!!!!!"  
  
"NO! KRILLIN!" cried Goku. "He was already brought back by the Dragon Balls."  
  
"And now, it's mop-top's turn to die," said Freeza.  
  
"NO," said Goku as he starts making moaning sounds.  
  
"Ummm dad?" said Gohan. "Are you alright?"  
  
Goku doesn't answer. Lighting flashes around in the sky as Freeza looks on in shock.  
  
"Ooooookkkkkkaaaayyyy..." said Freeza. "I don't know what the hell you're doing, so I'll just  
go over here and..."  
  
"Not so fast, Freeza," said Vegeta's voice inside Freeza's head.  
  
"D*** you monkeys!" said Freeza. "It doesn't matter how many times I kill you that you haunt me  
even after all I've done!"  
  
"Shut-up!" said Vegeta's voice.  
  
'Okay, now he's lost it,' thought Gohan. 'Maybe I should call Dr. Gero and schedule them for an  
appointment...'  
  
The sky becomes dark and for a moment, Gohan thought that the Dragon of Namek would reappear,  
but after a moment passed, he noticed an eerie glow around his father as his hair flashed blonde.  
  
"Dad, you're scaring me," said Gohan.  
  
"How... dare... you... B****!" said Goku.  
  
"I'm telling you that I'm- what?!" said Freeza as Goku's hair flashed blonde every 5 seconds.  
  
Lighting flashes in the sky as one hits behind Goku. In a deafening scream, Goku fully transformed  
into a Super Saiya-jin. Cameras once again come out as pictures were taken of the beautiful Kodac  
moment.  
  
"These are the moments," sang a voice.  
  
"What?!"said Freeza.  
  
"Dad?" said Gohan. "How did you dye your hair?"  
  
'That's a pretty good question,' thought Goku as he noticed a few of his blonde strands of hair hanging  
in his face. 'I wonder if I... wait. I still need to kill that b**** for killing Krillin!'  
  
"What?!" repeated Freeza since he was scared to death.  
  
"Gohan, get Piccolo and Bulma out of here on my spaceship or else he'll die," said Goku in a strangely  
calm and deeper voice. "I don't want to yell at you since my voice is sore, so get going."  
  
"Yes father," said Gohan as he salutes his father and runs over to Piccolo's side. Goku looks up at Freeza  
and he's still scared.  
  
"What?!" said Freeza again.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Will Goku kill the b****, Freeza or will he let her, I mean him go? What about Gohan's bet? Will Krillin  
ever come back to life? Will King Vegeta, Bardock, and Vegeta ever stop toying with our heroes' minds  
and just behave? Will Piccolo, the last Namekian (who's bonded to an old fart named Kami) live? Find  
out next time As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
CMG: So, what did you guys think?  
  
Vegeta: Can I toy with Freeza some more?  
  
K. Vegeta: Yeah! That was fun!  
  
Bardock: But we aren't really supposed to tease Freeza!  
  
CMG: Sure, you can tease some more since I'm not done with this saga yet!  
  
The 3 Saiya-jins: (cheer)  
  
Goku: (walks in still in his SSJ mode) Do I have a say in this?  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Goku: (sweatdrops) Ohhh...  
  
CMG: Next time, havoc continues as Freeza states that our hero has only 5 minutes until Namek expodes,  
and will our hero escape on time? Oh yeah, and some more Freeza-bashing is guaranteed as well as some  
crazy antics from the Saiya-jins that got killed horribly from Freeza will be in our next episode. So tune in  
next time As the Planet Namek Burns to get your next dose of comedy that wasn't seen on television!  
  
Don't forget to review. Until next time, keep waiting, ya peeps!  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta * 


	4. Dead Saiya-jin get Their Revenge

Dead Saiya-jin's get Their Revenge  
  
A/N: Still don't own them, so don't sue me. During the last episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, Goku  
and Freeza square off against each other and Vegeta and Co haunts Goku. In an effort to keep  
his son going, Bardock gives our hero some reassurance and Goku attacks Freeza straight out. He then  
fires his Kamehame Wave that actually made Freeza cry like the little b**** he is. Deciding to pull out  
his ultimate nuke from his pants, he managed to create the Spirit Bomb and drop it on Freeza. However,  
that stupid b**** just didn't want to die and he injures Piccolo, and kills Krillin. Before he could laugh and  
kill Gohan, Goku decided enough was enough and transformed into a Super Saiya-jin. Telling his son to  
leave Namek, Gohan gets ready to take Piccolo away, find Bulma and leave on Goku's spaceship. Will  
Goku defeat Freeza or will he just let that b**** go? Find out on today's episode of As the Planet Namek  
Burns to find out.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
------------------------------  
  
**WARNING: TOO MUCH FREEZA BASHING. IF YOU ARE A FREEZA FAN, I ADVISE YOU TO  
SKIP THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU READ THIS, PLEASE SKIP THE PARTS WHERE FREEZA GETS HIS  
A** KICKED. AND THERE IS ANOTHER FIGHT FOR THOSE OF YOU RIGHT BELOW THAT   
TAKES PLACE ON KING KAI'S PLANET FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HATED TIEN, YAMCHA, AND  
CHOU-ZU. SOME OF THE SCENE IS FROM THE MOVIE, AIRPLANE AND THE SHOW, SOUTH   
PARK. DON'T WORRY. IT'S JUST AN INSIDE JOKE. THANK YOU.**  
  
------------------------------  
  
"HOLY POOP!" cried King Kai as everyone saw him fall over.  
  
"What happened?" said Chou-zu. "Tell me! I am the Emperor!"  
  
"Chou-zu!" said Tien.  
  
"Well, I am!" said Chou-zu.  
  
"Well, Freeza's still alive and he just injured Piccolo and killed Krillin," said King Kai.  
  
"OHMYKAMI! THEY KILLED KRILLIN!" said Yamcha in a high-pitched voice.  
  
"YOU B******!" said Chou-zu.  
  
"No, it's more like, 'YOU B****!' since he sounds like a woman," said Tien.  
  
"Oh yeah," said Chou-zu. "YOU B****!"  
  
"What about Gohan?" said Yamcha.  
  
"He's alive and just weakened from earlier," said King Kai.  
  
"And Goku?" said Tien.  
  
"I'm not sure," said King Kai. "In one way, he is alive, but in another..."  
  
"Tell us!" said Chou-zu.  
  
"Do you guys promise not to panic if I tell you?" said King Kai as they promised. "Good. It seems  
as though Goku has reached inside himself and found that I alone cannot tell you what it is and what  
his motives are. The only way I can find out is by watching."  
  
"Tell me, has he changed any in his physical appearance?" said Tien.  
  
"Yes," said King Kai. "His hair is now blonde and his eyes are blue."  
  
"Wait a second," said Yamcha. "Did Goku take your old girlfriend with him to Namek?" (I'm talking  
about Lunch from Dragon Ball which doesn't air yet on Cartoon Network until this fall.)  
  
"What?" said Tien. "He better not!"  
  
"No," said King Kai. "She's in a bar on Earth still crying over Tien's death."  
  
"Oh," said the others.  
  
"Then how does that explain what happened to Goku?" said Chou-zu.  
  
"I hate to admit it, but he's not human," said King Kai as thunder is heard in the background. "If  
you remember Krillin told you that the Saiya-jin has arrived on Earth, correct?" They all nod their   
heads in confusion. "He did mention that Goku is also a Saiya-jin right?" They shake their heads   
no this time. "Well, I'll tell you why he's different now. IT'S BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO TRY AND   
KILL FREEZA WITH SOME NEW POWER HE NEVER HAD AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" cried the dead Z Fighters. An airplane is heard in the background sounding   
like it's going down as they start to panic. The planet seems to be falling and thunder is heard in the   
background again.  
  
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO PANIC!" said King Kai.  
  
"LET ME GO BUBBLES!" cried Gregory as Bubbles starts swinging him around. Yamcha starts  
to choke Chou-zu.  
  
"I TOLD YOU THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE WISHED US BACK!" said Yamcha.  
  
Glass breaks as chaos seemed to reek its head on King Kai's planet. The Z Fighters start fighting   
King Kai as a battle royal and start beating each other up. A referee tries to stop them, but gets burned   
by energy blasts and leaves angrily to tell the authorities.  
  
*******  
  
Meanwhile back in hell, Vegeta and the gang were talking to someone. He seemed old and frail, but the  
men do not harm him. It sounded as though they were trying to strike a deal.  
  
"...and you're saying if I let you three possess this 'Kakarot' guy, my son will have his revenge on Earth  
7 years after Gohan defeats Cell?" said a weird little cloaked man.  
  
"Yes," said Vegeta. "I want to possess Kakarot until I'm wished back to life later on."  
  
"Fine," said the man. "You have yourselves a deal."  
  
The three Saiya-jins laugh evilly as the flames grow larger.  
  
"Only one condition," said the old man. "You will be possessed by my son's power and you will give him  
your body to fight this Kakarot fellow."  
  
"D***! I knew there would be a catch!" said Vegeta. "But will it make me stronger?"  
  
"In a way, yes," said the man.  
  
"Excellent," said Vegeta. "Now chant the spell already!"  
  
"Fine, fine," said the man as he starts chanting the spell. "Of course, it will take about half the episode."  
  
The three Saiya-jin facevault.  
  
*******  
  
On Namek, Goku, the Super Saiya-jin is standing there, basking in the light of his new aura as Gohan is  
posed over Piccolo's body. Freeza still has the s*** scared out of him from the end of the last episode as  
he stares wide-eyed at the newly born Goku. It was a frame frozen in time as slowly, Goku turns to look  
at his son.  
  
"Will Piccolo be able to live?" said Gohan.  
  
"I'm not sure son, but you better get him away now," said Goku in his deeper voice as Gohan puts Piccolo   
on a stretcher. "If not, you'll die and so will Piccolo. And if he dies, the Dragon Balls will be gone."  
  
"Dad, will I ever see you again?" said Gohan.  
  
"Whenever you need me, I'll be there," said Goku. "Whenever Garlic Jr. comes out and tries to rule Earth  
like he did last time, but you managed to stop him, I'll be there. And whenever you are alone looking up at  
the stars, you'll know I'm out there somewhere in space hunting that b**** down!"  
  
"What?!" said Freeza.  
  
"Just remember that no matter what," said Goku, "I will always be in your heart no matter what and until  
next season, I will be the strongest warrior. Now go and take Piccolo with you."  
  
"Yes daddy," said Gohan as he gives his father a hug and picks up Piccolo. With tears in his eyes, he then  
says to Goku, "Goodbye, you ungrateful b******! You never raised me for Piccolo will be my father now  
until you get home."  
  
"You're grounded when I get home," said Goku.  
  
"So what?" said Gohan as he flies off. "Why should I care? You Super Saiya-jin!"  
  
"Just go, Gohan before I get angry with you!" yelled Goku.  
  
"Bye!" said Gohan in a flat voice as he flies off with Piccolo. "He really is a Super Saiya-jin. Oh great. I   
lost my betting slip! Oh well."  
  
Goku has Gohan's betting slip in his hand as he puts it inside his pocket. He smirked as Freeza stands there  
still scared.  
  
"What?!" repeated Freeza.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to try and stop Gohan from escaping?" said Goku.  
  
"What?!" said Freeza as he shakes his head. "Oh yeah. Right. You can't escape me!" Freeza gets ready   
to kill Gohan and Piccolo, but Goku gets in his way. "What?!"  
  
"Don't start that s*** again!" said Goku as he starts squeezing Freeza's hand. "You shouldn't have killed  
Krillin."  
  
"Let go!" cried Freeza.  
  
"No," said Goku.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
**FINAL WARNING! IF YOU ARE STILL READING THIS AND ARE A FREEZA FAN, I ADVISE   
YOU TO NOT TO READ ANY FARTHER. IF YOU DO, THEN PREPARE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES  
SINCE THIS TIME, I'M NOT HOLDING BACK ON ANY BASHING! SOME OF THIS IS ORIGINAL,  
BUT THE REST IS MINE!  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Freeza puts a giant force field around Goku, but it doesn't phase Goku one bit as he continues his struggle  
to free himself. Freeza even starts biting Goku's hand to try to make him let go, but he still holds Freeza's  
hand in an iron grip. Trying to yank his hand out of Goku's, he finally lets go and Freeza goes flying into  
space and starts falling on another planet. He crashes into a picket fence and lands in a garden.  
  
"My flowers!" cried a woman's voice as pots, pans, etc. were thrown at Freeza as he runs for his dear life  
from a biological woman as he flies back to Namek where Goku was at.  
  
"What took you so long?" said Goku with a smirk on his face as the beat-up Freeza comes back with multiple   
lumps on his head.  
  
"Shut-up," said Freeza. "You really are..."  
  
*Hmmm... let me try something,* said Vegeta as he takes control for a second.  
  
"I am..." interrupted Goku as he flexed his muscles. "I am really..." His muscle double in size. "I AM  
REALLY P***ED OFF AT YOU, B****!"  
  
He smacks Freeza into a thorn bush and he comes out really scratched up. He flies up in the air where Goku  
then smashes Freeza's body across his knee and throws Freeza to the ground, creating a Freeza-shaped hole  
in the ground. Goku floats there as Freeza comes out of the ground pretty angry.  
  
"I AM NOT A B****!" said Freeza.  
  
"Yes you are," said Goku. 'Something's inside my head...'  
  
"Well, I prove it to you by killing you like I killed your people!" said Freeza.  
  
"They were killed because they also thought you were a b****," said Goku. 'Argh! Get out! Get  
out! Get out!'  
  
Vegeta gets thrown out.   
  
*He's stronger than I thought,* said Vegeta. *Oh well.*  
  
"Stupid monkey, it doesn't really matter to me whether or not you are indeed a Super Saiya-jin or  
not," said Freeza with a smile on his face. "Do you really think you can kill the b****? Oh great!   
Now you making me start call myself that!"  
  
Bardock gains control of Goku.  
  
"And you screwed up your lines," said Goku. "You were supposed to say that before that Super  
Saiya-jin line, you a**hole." 'Stop bothering me dad!'  
  
Bardock gets shooed out.  
  
*Be grateful I'm actually trying to help you, son,* said Bardock.  
  
*Not now dad,* replied Goku. *I'm still angry at you disowning me!*  
  
*I wasn't serious!* said Bardock  
  
"Ah, shut the f*** up!" said Freeza as he charges at Goku, but he disappeared in thin air and  
surprises Freeza with a counter attack.  
  
Shooting multiple blasts at Goku, he managed to avoid all of them and still float in the exact same  
spot he was in before Freeza tried to kill him. Freeza gets even more p***ed off and throws more  
at Goku, who deflects them with his energy field. When the smoke clears, Goku is still perfectly  
fine and looks at Freeza with his cold blue eyes.  
  
"It's my turn now," said Goku as Freeza who laughs at him before getting blown away by an air  
blast that Goku produces with his own energy as he goes flying back some more.  
  
Smiling, Goku flies at Freeza and hits him with his elbow that sends him flying into a well placed  
glass sign that says "As the Planet Namek Burns" on it. The sign had the cast of characters that   
star in this story, but magically, the sign repaired itself. Freeza then gets upper cut as they continue  
to fight higher in the sky. Trying to hit Goku, he was sent flying into the ground when Goku slammed  
his body into the back of Freeza's spine. Freeza gets angry and lands on a cliff where he starts shooting  
some more beams at Goku, but he managed to dodge all of them easily. Vegeta, Bardock and King  
Vegeta decided to possess Goku all at the same time.  
  
"Stop dodging!" cried Freeza. "If I hit you with this one, you'll get killed!"  
  
"Fire away, b****!" said Goku. 'Why do I keep saying that?' *Don't tell me you three possessed me!*  
  
*I'm afraid so, Kakarot,* said Vegeta.  
  
*Now we're going to have some revenge!* said Bardock.  
  
*And if you don't like it, fine!* said King Vegeta.  
  
*You're going to have me killed!* said Goku.  
  
*Not really,* said Bardock. *I know you're holding back, so shut the f*** up!*  
  
*I hate all of you,* said Goku.  
  
"I'm not a B****!" cried Freeza as he shoots his beam at Goku. He doesn't move this time as the beam  
gets closer to him and hits Goku in the head as his neck arched back from the impact. Lowering his head  
back to Freeza's eyesight, he sees that Goku wasn't scratched from that attack at all that should have killed  
Goku, but he was still alive. "I-impossible!"  
  
"You might kill so many innocent lives and hurt them, but I promise you that I will not be your next victim,  
Freeza," said Goku with confidence in his voice.  
  
"B******!" cries Freeza. "What are you?"  
  
"You already know," said Goku. "I am a Super Saiya-jin who has been born to kill you. When you p***ed  
me off by killing Krillin, that was the last straw." Some volcanoes blow their tops as lava goes spewing into  
the air. "NOW I WILL KILL YOU, B****!!! AND I WILL AVENGE EVERYONE'S DEATHS TOO!!!!!"  
  
Just then, a voice is heard out of nowhere as a man is seen on the ground.  
  
"That's right Freeza, the sleeper has awakened..." started the man.  
  
"DIE!" cries Freeza as he interrupts the man's speech.  
  
"AHHHHH!!!!" said the man.  
  
"I'll avenge your death too!" cried Goku. "Just as soon as I get some certain 'ghosts' out of my head!"  
  
"You're possessed?" said Freeza.  
  
"Afraid so," said Goku.  
  
"By who?" said Freeza.  
  
"My dad, Vegeta, and King Vegeta," said Goku. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"Just wondering," said Freeza. "Can you get rid of them?"  
  
"Can't," said Goku. "They want revenge, so they're inside my head telling me what to do."  
  
"Man, that's really screwed up!" said Freeza.  
  
"Oh well," said Goku. "Let's just continue, shall we?"  
  
"Certainly," said Freeza.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Will Goku avenge the deaths of all of those who were killed, including Krillin, Vegeta, Dende, and the   
Namekians that were killed? Will Gohan find Bulma and escape Namek? Will the Saiya-jin cause some   
more chaos for Goku and Freeza? Is Piccolo going to live? Find out next time As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
CMG: So?  
  
Vegeta: Okay, I want to know why we've possessed Kakarot!  
  
Bardock: Not to be mean or anything, but couldn't we have just blasted that b**** using Goku's body?  
  
CMG: (smirks) Now that you guys mention it...  
  
Goku: (flies in in his SSJ form) You've got to be kidding!  
  
CMG: Sorry, but I have to do what the boys want!  
  
Goku: This is embarrassing. I just hope you know that you guys are nuts! (runs off)  
  
K. Vegeta: Can we kill Freeza?  
  
CMG: No.  
  
The 3 Saiya-jin: D***!  
  
CMG: He's supposed to live during the beginning of the Android Saga!  
  
Vegeta: So, no one would notice.  
  
CMG: We'll see about it.  
  
A/N: If some of you were wondering about the first chapter, I made it so that Freeza was pretty much  
attracted to Gohan because he was just a kid and he thought he was weak. That's why I made that pretty  
weird scene. Also, the thought about Goku going SSJ4 that early on was pretty stupid, but heck, it's was  
a joke as well since it's not really a stage anyway you look at it. I'm already aware that this fanfic has  
seem to gone downhill on the jokes, but I'm just running out of Namek Stew.  
  
On the next episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, Gohan and Piccolo have a touching scene together  
before things get out of hand. Goku's possessed body is put to the test by the Saiya-jins who decided to  
get more revenge on Freeza before he loses it and does the unthinkable. Will our hero from Earth survive,  
or will the evil b**** live through the havoc, destroy Earth, and make it home just in time to watch his  
soap operas? Find out on the next episode of As the Planet Namek Burns. Coming as soon as I get past a  
small delay and (gasp) writers' block.  
  
Until then, keep waiting and enjoy! And remember to review once you're done! ^_^  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta *  



	5. The Dead Saiya-jin's Revenge-Part 2

The Dead Saiya-jin's Revenge-Part 2  
  
A/N: I still don't own them, so stop asking! I'm getting tired of being asked that question! And I didn't   
really add a lot in Chapter 4, so this will be the second part of Chapter 4 since I screwed up. Here we go!   
On our last episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, King Kai fills in our other heroes about what   
happened to Goku back on Namek. After King Kai filled in the others with the news, our heroes reek   
havoc on King Kai's planet. On Namek, Goku tells Gohan to leave with Piccolo so he and Freeza can get   
down to their fight so Goku can have his revenge. Meanwhile, Vegeta and Co. decided to seek help from   
a mysterious old fart to possess Goku. So far, Goku has the upper hand since the Saiya-jin cannot really   
control Goku fully just yet and only mock Freeza. Will they fully possess Goku or will Goku get them out   
of his head once and for all? What about Piccolo? Will he live? Find out today on As the Planet Namek   
Burns.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
On King Kai's Planet, King Kai's burned house was burning some more as Chou-zu runs around with  
a can of oil. Tien is trying to catch Chou-zu before he could do anymore damage as the oil spilled on the  
ground was being burned. Yamcha had Gregory in his hands.  
  
"Make one false move monkey and the cricket gets it!" said Yamcha as he holds an energy blast to  
Gregory's little head.  
  
"Don't do it, Bubbles!" cried Gregory.  
  
"Ookk! Eek!" cried Bubbles.  
  
"Will you all PLEASE calm down?" yelled King Kai from under a burning bush. "You're acting like  
wild animals!"  
  
"FREEZE!" said a voice through a megaphone. "WE HAVE THIS PLACE SURROUNDED! PUT THE  
CRICKET DOWN OR ELSE!"  
  
"Or else what?" said Yamcha.  
  
"This," said a voice as small seeds are thrown at the guys. Yamcha drops Gregory as the grass starts  
to grow back as well as the tree.  
  
"Huh? What are these?" said King Kai as he picks a seed up.  
  
"Those seeds are the seeds that will restore your planet," said a voice. "Besides, I was getting tired  
of all the havoc that was going on in this world like it's going on down on Namek!"  
  
"Wait," said King Kai. "Who are you?"  
  
"Who am I?" said the voice. "That, I cannot tell y..."  
  
"Just tell us!" said everyone in an irritated voice.  
  
"Fine," said the voice as a blue cloaked figure comes down from King Kai's burning house. She is wearing  
a hood over her face as her thin locks of hair decorates her shoulders. Her eyes are blue even with her   
oval framed glasses on as she takes the hood off from over her head. She seemed to be a human wearing   
the cloak as a joke over her normal clothes. Under the cloak, she is wearing a dark blue vest with a white  
shirt under it and matching dark blue pants. "If you wish to know, I shall tell you. But only just this once  
and if you repeat it anytime during this fanfic, then you shall meet the consequences. My name is..."  
  
*******  
  
Down on Namek, Goku is having trouble continuing his fight with Freeza. The three Saiya-jin who were  
inside Goku's head were starting to control Goku's body as he gets beat in the face by a bunch of punches  
and kicks. Goku tries to keep going, but Vegeta soon had full control over Goku's body and starts playing  
with Freeza.  
  
"Ka... me... ha... me... ha!" cried Goku as Vegeta made Goku use his signature move on Freeza. *Why is  
this happening to me?!*  
  
The Saiya-jin laugh at Goku in his mind. Freeza starts and energy blast as well and they crash into each  
other and start creating a giant tornado which starts sucking both of them into it. Unable to get out, the giant  
twister of destruction picked up multiple items.  
  
"Whoooooo..." cried Goku as he spins around in the tornado. "I am a Super Saiya-jin, but I cannot   
get out of this tornado. I could destroy it, but I cannot for I cannot get out. I could fly out, but I cannot   
get out. Let me try." Goku tries to get out, but gave up. "Nope. I cannot..."  
  
"Shut-up! I'm getting sick!" said Freeza who isn't enjoying this one bit. "Let me off this thing!"  
  
*******  
  
"So, CMG, why are you here?" said King Kai.  
  
"Well, I had a day off on Earth from working, so I decided to travel here to see if I could repair your  
planet so it doesn't look like Pluto took a giant s*** on it," said CMG as everyone laughs.  
  
"That's a good one!" said King Kai. "So, are you also here for my training?"  
  
"Well, maybe I can get a bit stronger, but let me just say that since I don't plan on making an appearance  
in your stories anytime soon, I want to train only so I know how to do the Spirit Bomb," said CMG.  
  
"Hmmm... you seem confident enough," said King Kai, "but are you absolutely sure you don't want to  
learn anything else?"  
  
"Well, maybe the Kaioken Attack too," said CMG.  
  
"And I've got a trick that I was meaning to teach Goku, but he came a bit too late, so I had no time in the  
least to teach him," said King Kai. "I am going to teach you how to fly to a planet at warp speed without  
the need of any oxygen."  
  
"Cool!" said CMG. "Let's do it!"  
  
"Okay then," said King Kai as the others watch.  
  
"Why didn't he teach us anything else?" said Chou-zu.  
  
"Because we will eventually become overshadowed by most of the Saiya-jin characters on the show, so it  
really doesn't matter if we learn something new or not!" said Tien.  
  
"Jeez man! This bites!" said Yamcha.  
  
*******  
  
---------------------  
  
A/N: Just so you know, this scene didn't really turn out good, so you can skip it if you want. I know there  
are some people who prefer lemons out there about Piccolo and Gohan, but there is NO lemon and their  
relationship is a bit strange, so if you are going to read it, do it at your own risk. Besides, as I stated, this is  
a PG-13 fanfic, not a rated NC-17 or R fanfic, okay?  
  
----------------------  
  
Gohan is flying still as he finally reaches his father's spaceship. Putting Piccolo on the floor, he heard Piccolo  
starting to moan in his sleep. Rushing over to his side, Gohan heard Piccolo talking.  
  
"Oh Kami, the pain," said Piccolo. "Why didn't you listen to me?! Why?! I thought we were destined to make  
it, Gloria."  
  
"Picco-" said Gohan.  
  
"Please make sure that our son, Allen doesn't know about our affairs," said Piccolo. "She doesn't know that  
it was supposed to be this way. She doesn't know that I stole the cookie from the cookie jar or accidentally  
forgot to put down the toilet seat. Promise me that no matter what, you manage to make it to Disney World  
and make our daughter Stephanie's dream come true. And make sure you bring Allen a nice little hat. Promise  
me, Gloria."  
  
"Huh?" said Gohan as Piccolo gets up and holds Gohan's hands.  
  
"Promise me," said Piccolo as his eyes have tears in them.  
  
"I-I promise," said Gohan a bit confused. 'Why is everyone losing their minds today?'  
  
"Thank you," said Piccolo as he lays back down and says nothing more.  
  
'Good, he's sound asleep,' thought Gohan. 'Now to find Bulma.'  
  
Gohan flies off in search of Bulma as the planet starts to shake a little.  
  
*******  
  
Halfway around Namek, Goku and Freeza have finally managed to get out of the tornado. They take  
a break talking yet again.  
  
"So, you think you're going to win?" said Freeza.  
  
"Uh-huh," said Goku.  
  
"Well too bad!" said Freeza as he drops a Death Bomb into the ocean. "I'm going to destroy this planet!"  
  
"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" said Goku as though he's going in slow motion.  
  
A bright light envelopes Namek. Everything seemed to disappear in the light. Goku's shocked face seemed  
to imprint something that would forever scar DBZ fans everywhere on Earth. Gohan was searching as he  
was thrown back by winds before a light surrounds him. Piccolo, who was laying unconscious disappeared  
in a bright light. Bulma, who was flying in the air by the blast, disappears in the bright light. And finally, Freeza,  
who was laughing disappeared in the bright light as the camera zooms out from Planet Namek as it flashed.  
  
*******  
  
"Kaioken!" cried CMG as wild red flames surrounded her body. "Whoa! This is sweet!"  
  
"Huh?" said King Kai as his antennas perked up. "Oh s***!"  
  
"What's wrong?" said Yamcha.  
  
"I think King Kai's worried about Namek," said CMG.  
  
"That is correct," said King Kai. "How did you know?"  
  
"Well, I sort of have psychic powers too!" said CMG.  
  
"So, do you know who's going to win?" said Yamcha.  
  
"Well..." said CMG.  
  
"Tell us!" said King Kai.  
  
"Sorry, I forgot," said CMG.  
  
Everyone facevaults. King Kai gets up with his antenna twitching as his face turns red with anger.  
  
"Well if you do know, Miss' Smarty Pants, then is Namek still intact?" said King Kai.  
  
"Yes, and no," said CMG.  
  
"Huh?" said everyone.  
  
"It's still there, but it's core is gone, so it's starting to become unstable," said CMG. "I already know  
who's going to win, but I'm not telling!"  
  
Everyone facevaults again, including Bubbles and Gregory.  
  
"Well, I know that Goku's stronger than Freeza now and he's got the upper hand," said CMG. "All you  
have to do is wait."  
  
"For how long?" said Chou-zu.  
  
"Five minutes," said CMG.  
  
"Okay," said Chou-zu.  
  
*******  
  
Back on Namek, what CMG just said happened. The core was blown out and the planet was unstable   
as lava spews across the planet's surface. Goku looks at Freeza with a smirk on his face.  
  
"You were holding back," said Goku. "You are a b****, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes, but you only have 5 minutes," said Freeza.  
  
"That should be enough time to defeat you," said Goku.  
  
"Snug, aren't you?" said Freeza. "Let's begin the death match."  
  
"Sure," said Goku as he kicks Freeza right where it hurts.  
  
"Why did you do that?" said Freeza in a very high pitched and annoying voice.  
  
"That's for my father," said Vegeta's voice.  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot that you were possessed," said Freeza.  
  
*Vegeta,* said Goku. *Why did you go and do that?*  
  
*'Cause, I wanted to see if he's gay or not,* said Vegeta.  
  
*That was bad,* said Goku. *Now say your sorry or else I will kill him before you can have your fun.*  
  
*Fine,* said Vegeta as he controls Goku again. "I'm sorry... you ungrateful b****!"  
  
Goku's body moved on it's own as he punches Freeza in the gut and he doubled over in pain. Goku regains  
control of his body afterwards as the Saiya-jin laugh in his head. Deciding to take matters into his own hands,  
Goku looks inside himself to find the troublemakers.  
  
"You guys need to stop bothering me!" said Goku.  
  
"Well, we're the ones who helped you become a Super Saiya-jin," said King Vegeta.  
  
"And besides, you owe us!" said Bardock.  
  
"You're just jealous because I'm a Super Saiya-jin and you're not," said Goku in a singsong voice.  
  
"Grrr..." said all three Saiya-jins.  
  
"Ha! I won that round," said Goku.  
  
"I hate you, Kakarotto," said Vegeta.  
  
"You aren't my son," said Bardock.  
  
"I don't really know you, but ah hell," said King Vegeta.  
  
Goku emerged from his mind as Freeza finally recovers his composure. He wipes the blood that was coming  
from his mouth as he smiles at Goku. Then he circles Goku.  
  
"You know, you are the first opponent who's ever going to push me to use my full power," said Freeza.  
  
"Funny," said Goku. "I thought that was your full power, b****!"  
  
"It's not," said Freeza. "It was only half."  
  
"I see," said Goku. "Go ahead and charge up then."  
  
"Fine," said Freeza. "It's your funeral."  
  
"Too bad you killed Dende to be the minister," said Goku.  
  
"So do you want to be cremated or buried," said Freeza.  
  
"Your call," said Goku.  
  
"I think I'll cremate you," said Freeza as he starts charging up.  
  
*******  
  
"It's been 5 minutes," said Chou-zu. "Are they dead yet?"  
  
"Nope," said King Kai.  
  
"How much longer?" said Tien.  
  
"Five more minutes," said King Kai.  
  
*******  
  
"Bulma!" yelled Gohan. "Bulma!"  
  
"Help!" cried Bulma as she was hanging from the cliff from her underwear.  
  
Gohan picks Bulma up and her underwear is torn off. Bulma's face turned red as she starts beating on  
his head.  
  
"You little brat! Those were my last pair of underwear!" said Bulma.  
  
"Sorry," said Gohan as he picks up Bulma's underwear.  
  
"Land near that cave so I can put them back on!" said Bulma.  
  
"Fine," said Gohan as Bulma walks in the cave.  
  
"It's dark in here, but I'm going to put my underwear back on," said Bulma's voice from inside the cave  
as Gohan waits patiently. "Now where's my pants? Ah! Here they... AHHHHH!!!!"  
  
"Bulma!" cried Gohan as he went into the cave. He lights up the cave and finds a strange carving on the wall  
and found Bulma fast asleep on the ground. He noticed that they were pictures. "These pictures seem to be  
telling a story."  
  
Gohan looked at the first picture of a man who was fighting a lizard. The next pictures showed them fighting  
as the story seemed to become familiar. As he noticed the next picture, he saw the planet's fate. Then, he looks  
at the next one and finds someone actually was painting it. He noticed a picture of a woman and a boy looking  
at the pictures inside a cave.  
  
"Ummm... who are you?" said Gohan.  
  
"Just the storyboard writer," said the man. "Don't mind me. I'll just stay here and paint some more."  
  
"Wait," said Gohan. "You can't be a storyboard writer! You must be..."  
  
"Yes," said the man as he transforms into a demon. "Give me some cheese!"  
  
"I don't have any!" said Gohan.  
  
"Then, I will put a curse on you," said the demon. "In about 4 years, you will become a monster just like   
me and kill someone! BWAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
The demon starts coughing as he turns into Bardock.  
  
"Grandpa!" said Gohan.  
  
"What? Can't I have any fun with my grandson?" said Bardock.  
  
"No," said Gohan. "I thought you possessed my dad!"  
  
"I did, but he got angry with us and told us to leave him alone," said Bardock.  
  
"It figures since you've driven him crazy!" said Gohan.  
  
"Yeah, but I was bored," said Bardock. "I mean, I have to deal with your uncle in hell because he whines  
how you hit him in the breadbasket. You did manage to hit him pretty hard, kid."  
  
"Really?" said Gohan.  
  
"Yep!" said Bardock. "Too bad you're just like your dad and forgot though."  
  
"Whatever," said Gohan. "Can I take Bulma to the spaceship now?"  
  
"Sure, take her," said Bardock. "All I did was knock her out, so she's fine."  
  
"Good," said Gohan as he picks Bulma up carefully. "Perhaps then I won't have to hear that b****es   
complaining until she wakes up."  
  
"Bye!" said Bardock as Gohan continues his flight back to the spaceship.  
  
*******  
  
"Are they dead yet?" said Tien. "It's been about 15 minutes!"  
  
"Just wait another..." said King Kai.  
  
"Yeah I know!" said CMG.  
  
"Another 5 minutes," moaned everyone with her except King Kai.  
  
"Well, it seems that Goku's lost it," said King Kai. "I'm going to try and contact him."  
  
*******  
  
'How much longer does he have to charge up?' thought Goku.  
  
*Goku,* said King Kai. *Attack him now before he reaches his full power!*  
  
*Attack him now?* said Goku. *No, I think I'll wait and make him suffer for a little while!*  
  
*Goku!* cried King Kai. *Do it now!* Goku just continues waiting. *We all know you have the power!*  
  
(Yeah, I stole that one from the Cell Saga, so what? I thought it was appropriate.)  
  
*Let me do this King Kai,* said Goku. *I'm still p***ed off that he killed Krillin and also he owes me  
a dollar!*  
  
*When did he owe you a dollar?* said King Kai.  
  
*A little while ago to buy a sports drink,* said Goku.  
  
*You idiot! He won't pay you back!* said King Kai.  
  
*Whatever, I'll talk to you later,* said Goku as he hangs up.  
  
*******  
  
-Your call has been disconnected...- said a woman's voice.  
  
"Ahhh shut-up!" said King Kai as he hits himself in the head.  
  
"Are they dead yet?" said Chou-zu.  
  
"NO! NOW WILL YOU STOP F***EN ASKING ME?!" said King Kai.  
  
"'In another five minutes' my a**!" said Yamcha.  
  
*******  
  
"Do you think we should continue torturing Freeza?" said King Vegeta.  
  
"I don't know," said Bardock. "He is still sort of p***ed off for what Vegeta did to Freeza."  
  
"Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore," said Vegeta.  
  
The Saiya-jin think a moment. "Nah!" they all said in unison.  
  
"Let me control him this time!" said King Vegeta.  
  
"Hey! I want to control my son!" said Bardock.  
  
"There's only one way we can settle this," said Vegeta. "A friendly game of Rock, Scissors, Paper."  
  
"Fine," said Bardock and King Vegeta as they duke it out. King Vegeta got rock. Bardock had scissors.  
  
"Ha! I win!" said King Vegeta.  
  
"D***!" said Bardock.  
  
"It seems you've tried to cheat by using your psychic powers, but I bested you at the last minute," said  
King Vegeta.  
  
"Go ahead and possess my son," said Bardock in a sad voice.  
  
"Don't worry," said Vegeta. "We'll each get our turn."  
  
"Yeah!" said Bardock and King Vegeta.  
  
*******  
  
"Man! The planet should have gone about a half hour ago!" said Tien.  
  
"Yeah, but I guess it would be pretty lame if it actually did explode in five minutes," said Yamcha. "I mean,  
there would barely be a fight!"  
  
"SPIRIT BOMB!" yelled CMG as she hold a beautiful glowing aura in her hand.  
  
"DIE!" yelled King Kai as he throws blasts down at her.  
  
(I'll give you 2 brownie points on where that came from!)  
  
"SWEET!" said Chou-zu as CMG goes flying.  
  
"Ouch!" said CMG.  
  
"Did you hold on to the power?" said King Kai.  
  
"Huh? Yea I did," said CMG.  
  
"Good, now wait for the mom- NO!" said King Kai as CMG throws the Spirit Bomb at King Kai. A cool  
explosion rocks the small planet, as King Kai falls to the ground burned up, but still alive.  
  
"That's for breaking one of my nails, you b******!" said CMG.  
  
"Medic!" yelled King Kai.  
  
*******  
  
"Are you ready yet?" said Goku as he sits in a chair on a nearby cliff. He has a laptop computer and surfs   
the Internet using Blue Light. His computer finished downloading a file as he opens the Real Player on his  
computer and plays the music video he just finished downloading.  
  
"No," said Freeza. "I'm only at 30% of my maximum power!"  
  
"You're decreasing your power, not increasing it!" said Goku. "Man! Even this computer gets downloads  
faster than you can power up!"  
  
"Shut-up!" said Freeza.  
  
"And besides, it's been like 45 minutes since you told me that this planet is going to explode," said Goku. "I  
think you're lying!"  
  
"Just wait another 5 minutes," said Freeza.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Will Planet Namek ever explode? Will Freeza ever finish powering up? Is Piccolo going to get out of that coma?  
Who's Gloria, Allen, and Stephanie? Can Vegeta and Co finish getting their revenge on Freeza or will  
they continue torchuring Goku until they do? Will CMG learn the last technique before she has to go to work  
the next day? And will a medic treat King Kai after getting hit by a Spirit Bomb? Find out next time As  
the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
A/N: Next time on As the Planet Namek Burns, more Saiya-jin trouble will befall on our hero as King Vegeta  
kicks Freeza's butt across the river of molten lava. Mmmm... lava; I mean will Goku be able to handle Freeza  
at 100% of his power? Can Gohan defeat Freeza in case his father dies or disappears for about half of the show  
because he's a lazy a** for not getting out of the ground right away? And will Bardock, Goku's father ever get  
a crack at torchuring Freeza? Find out next time As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
CMG: What?!  
  
King Kai: I'm still in pain!  
  
CMG: Well, you did break my nail, so shut-up!  
  
King Kai: Women! No wonder this show doesn't have a lot of women like Chi-chi fight!  
  
Chi-chi: (comes storming in) I heard that, buster!  
  
King Kai: (sweatdrops) I didn't mean it!  
  
Chi-chi: (hits King Kai with a frying pan) You are coming home with me buster to write a 100,000,000   
paragraph essay on why... (leaves)  
  
Bardock: Why do I always have to be last?  
  
CMG: Don't worry, you'll have fun destroying Freeza last!  
  
Bardock: Really?  
  
CMG: Yep. I know something that you can do to Freeza once he becomes "half the man" he used to be!  
  
Bardock: You are so evil!  
  
CMG: (grins) True, true.  
  
Bardock: So, will you truely be in the next chapter?  
  
CMG: Yeah, but for only a short time since I've got (shudders) work tomorrow!  
  
Bardock: Why do you hate it so much?  
  
CMG: 'Cause I only get paid $5.50 an hour for painful physical labor. How about you? Did you used to  
get paid?  
  
Bardock: No.  
  
CMG: Well let me just say this: Kroger is the DEVIL! And the Union is the DEVIL!  
  
Bardock: (runs away)  
  
CMG: And my boss is the DEVIL!   
  
(Not really, but he doesn't speak English very well and I have been working at Kroger for over 4 months   
now, so go figure.)  
  
Well, I got another fanfic to write and hopefully by tomorrow, I should be able to get on through Blue Light  
again to post another chapter since I have to resort to using Juno for the time being. Oh well. Until next time,  
keep waiting, peeps!  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta *  



	6. More Chaos and The King's Possession

More Chaos and the King's Possession  
  
A/N: Still don't own them. I'm going to try and summarize a bit differently this time, okay? Here we go!   
  
(N)arration: On our last episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, Goku is annoyed with the Saiya-jins in his  
head possessing him and they leave a bit angry at him...  
  
Vegeta: I hate you Kakarotto.  
  
Bardock: You are not my son.  
  
K. Vegeta: I don't really know you, but ah hell!  
  
N: As Freeza regains his composure, Goku managed to get unpossessed for awhile from the Saiya-jins and   
finds out the truth of Freeza's power...  
  
Goku: I thought you were using your full power, b****!  
  
N: It seems that Freeza was holding back as well. In the other world, havoc seemed to reach it's peak, but   
luckily, the author of the story appears and helps King Kai and the dead Z Fighters out by repairing King   
Kai's Planet and gets training from King Kai himself. Back on Namek, Gohan drops Piccolo off. After a   
disturbing scene, he goes out and finds Bulma hanging off the edge of the cliff by her underwear. Running   
into his grandfather, Gohan manages to rescue Bulma and continue his quest to take her back to the   
spaceship unconscious. Will Planet Namek explode soon? And if so, how long?  
  
Goku: It's been about 45 minutes since you told me that this planet is about to explode. I think your lying!  
  
Freeza: Just wait another 5 minutes.  
  
Will our hero be able to defeat Freeza at his full power? Will Gohan get Bulma and Piccolo off the planet? Will  
CMG finish her training with King Kai before going to work? And will King Kai be treated by a medic? Find  
out today on As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
------------------------  
  
WARNING: MORE POINTLESS DEAD CHARACTER BASHING! MORE CHAOS THAT WASN'T  
ORIGINALLY PLANNED AND REUSED PLOT FROM 2 EPISODES AGO!  
  
------------------------  
  
"How many fingers do you see?" said Yamcha as King Kai starts regaining consciousness. He is holding   
up 2 fingers.  
  
"20?" said King Kai.  
  
"Close enough," said Chou-zu as King Kai gets up.  
  
"Now where's CMG at?" said King Kai.  
  
"Is this good enough?" said Tien as he finishes freezing CMG in a block of ice.  
  
"That's good," said CMG. "Now stand back!"  
  
"Okay," said Tien as he runs back as CMG starts powering up.  
  
"Oh! It's so cold!" said CMG as she starts shivering a bit.  
  
"What is she doing now?" said King Kai as he walks over to CMG.  
  
"Kaio-ken!" cries CMG as she breaks out of a block of ice. "Hey! It does work on ice, too!"  
  
"It's Kaioken, not Kaio-ken!" said King Kai.  
  
"Well, that's how Goku said it in the World's Strongest!" said CMG.  
  
"Who in the HFIL, I mean hell is dubbing these movies and series?" said King Kai.  
  
"You don't want to know," said CMG.  
  
"Tell us!" said Chou-zu.  
  
"If you want to know, it's FUNimation," said CMG.  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" cried everyone as another fight breaks out. Dramatic, yet exciting music comes  
out of nowhere.  
  
"Where is that music coming from?" said Gregory as he picks up a hammer.  
  
"Who cares," said Tien.  
  
"Oh great! Well screw all of you!" said CMG. "I repaired this whole planet for you and now you're going  
to ruin it again! Before I go, can you tell me how to do the space teleporting trick, King Kai?"  
  
"Just concentrate on where you want to go and you should get there quickly," said King Kai before  
he gets slammed into a table.  
  
"Thanks," said CMG as she taps into her watch. Her clothes change and she's wearing her working  
clothes. "Later!"  
  
CMG teleports as a barrel falls where she was at originally as the fight continues. An airplane sound is  
heard again as the planet starts to spin on its equator really fast. Suddenly, a meteor falls on King Kai's  
house and burst into flames as Chou-zu runs around with scissors this time. Yamcha has Bubbles on his  
face as Gregory is beating Tien up with a hammer.  
  
"Hit me with the hammer, will you?" said an irratated Gregory as he chases Tien around the planet and  
hits him with it. "Let's see how you enjoy it!"  
  
"Why me?" said King Kai as he hides under a burning bush again.  
  
*******  
  
"Zzzzz..."said Goku as he sleeps in his SSJ form in a bed.  
  
"I'm ready," said Freeza as his muscles bulge out.  
  
"Hmmm?" said Goku as he wakes up. "Well, it's about d*** time, b****!"  
  
"I told you to stop calling me that!" said Freeza.  
  
"Whatever," said Goku. "Let's just finish this so I can go home after stopping at the video store to pick up  
a movie for my wife."  
  
"That's if you live," said Freeza. "Now let's tango."  
  
"Uhhh... no," said Goku.  
  
"I meant fight," said Freeza.  
  
"Oh. Okay," said Goku.  
  
"Freeza comes up with a roundhouse punch that sends Goku flying into a cliff. He busts out as Freeza quickly  
gets the upper hand," said a man with a microphone as he follows the action. "Oh! That's really going to leave  
a mark! It seems that Freeza's got the upperhand on our hero, Goku..."  
  
"Shut-up!" yelled Goku and Freeza.  
  
"Fine," said the man. "I'm just trying to entertain my fans!"  
  
"Who are you?" said Goku.  
  
"I'm Ken Starr, the best announcer of any fight on Earth," said the man  
  
"How did you get here?" said Freeza.  
  
"Instant Transmission," said Ken.  
  
"Really?" said Goku. "Where did you learn it from?"  
  
"Bill Clinton," said Ken. "He used it to teleport to Monica Lewinsky's house secretly each night during  
his so-called 'affairs' to win her over."  
  
"Ooooookkkkaaayyyy," said Goku. "I don't need to know that much."  
  
"Anyways, I'm going continue talking, so try to ignore me," said Ken.  
  
"I'll kill you when I'm done with this ape-s***!" said Freeza.  
  
"Gay b****!" said Goku.  
  
"Nice comeback," said Freeza.  
  
"It seems like our two powerful god-like beings have started their fight again!" said Ken as the fight  
starts again. "Oh no! Goku's been thrown into some rather hot lava that I'm standing in right now and  
am slowly, but surely burning to death. But he manages to survive and..."  
  
"That's enough!" cried Goku as he fires an energy blast at Ken.  
  
"I'M MELTING... MELTING!!!!!!!!!!" cries Ken as the lava destroys Ken. "OH WHAT A WORLD...  
WHAT A WORLD..."  
  
"I told you I would take care of it," said Freeza.  
  
"Well, he was getting rather annoying," said King Vegeta through Goku's body.  
  
"It-it can't be!" said Freeza.  
  
"Heh-heh," said King Vegeta. "It seems like the tables have turned, Freeza."  
  
"Really?" said Freeza.  
  
"Yes, really," said King Vegeta.  
  
"Really?" said Freeza.  
  
"Yes, really," said King Vegeta.  
  
"Really?" said Freeza.  
  
"Will you stop repeating that, b****!" said King Vegeta.  
  
"Really?" said Freeza.  
  
"Argh!" said King Vegeta as he lurged towards Freeza.  
  
"Really?" said Freeza as he flies back.  
  
"When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna burn you alive!" said King Vegeta.  
  
"Really?" said Freeza as he gets chased by King Vegeta/Goku's body.  
  
*******  
  
Back on King Kai's planet, madness seems to reek it's ugly head. King Kai runs to his fall out shelter  
as tanks run over his burning house. It seems that now even the army has arrived to cause havoc.  
  
"WORLD WAR 3!" cried Hitler as he comes out of one of the tanks.  
  
"You are an idiot, aren't you?" said Tien as he throws the tank off King Kai's planet.  
  
"Hail Hitler!" cried the Nazis.  
  
"Hail this!" said Gregory as he hits another tank with the hammer off King Kai's planet.  
  
"Get out of here! This is our battle!" said Chou-zu as he flings the remaining tanks off with his psychic  
powers.  
  
"Now let's get this straightened out," said King Kai as he comes out of the fall out shelter. "We are not   
going to fight anymore, you here?"  
  
"Yes," said everyone.  
  
"Good," said King Kai. "Now help me..."  
  
"We had our fingers crossed," said Yamcha as he ties up King Kai with some rope.  
  
"YOU F***EN LIARS!" cried King Kai.  
  
"Let Mortal Combat begin!" said Chou-zu over the microphone in a deep voice as some party music  
comes on. It turned out that Chou-zu didn't say those words because it was actually the song, "It Has  
Begun" playing loudly from the kariroke machine.  
  
"WHEN I GET OUT OF THESE ROPES, I'M GOING TO KICK ALL OF YOU OFF MY PLANET!"  
yelled King Kai as he tries to get out of the ropes.  
  
*******  
  
Gohan found the spaceship and put Bulma's body in a comfy chair while he sat down on the ground with  
Piccolo's body. Unable to take the silence, Gohan decides to go out for a nice little fly around to see if  
his dad was faring well with Freeza. He left Bulma a note and took off. About 15 seconds after he left,  
Bulma wakes up and finds the letter.  
  
"Huh?" said Bulma as she reads the letter.  
  
"Dear Bulma,  
  
Don't worry, I've went out to see if my 'dad's' doing alright. I'm still mad at him for telling me to leave,  
so I'm going to try and talk to him so I can tell him that I'm not leaving without him. I still love him, but  
when he yelled at me, I called him an ungrateful b******!"  
  
"Man! This letter is even censored!" said Bulma as she stops reading for a minute.  
  
"Anyways, if I don't come back in another 5 minutes, then take off without me, alright?  
  
Sincerely,  
Son Gohan  
  
P.S.-Don't hurt Piccolo or else I'm going to make sure that you suffer bad, b****!"  
  
"Why me?" said Bulma as she drops the note. "I hope you know how Gohan feels about you Piccolo!"  
  
(Yeah, I decided to put his last name in first in case some of you guys don't know why I did that. It's   
very common in Japan.)  
  
*******  
  
Freeza is dodging all of King Vegeta/Goku's hits as they continue to fight. Irratated, King Vegeta fires a  
blast at Freeza, but he misses as Freeza knocks him deep into the ground to make sure his body burned  
up in the lava. When he gets out, he looks down to see that Goku's body was not coming up. Happy, he  
pulls out a party hat as he throws streamers in the air that fall very slowly. He blows a horn as he starts  
celebrating on the burning Planet Namek.  
  
"Yes! All the monkeys are dead! All the monkeys are dead!" sang Freeza.  
  
"Not quite," said Gohan as Freeza turns around.  
  
"Huh?" said Freeza.  
  
"Even though you killed my father, I'm still alive and I'm only a half-Saiya-jin!" said Gohan. "I was going  
to apologize to him for calling him an ungrateful b******, but you killed him."  
  
"Well, you're about to be reunited with him," said Freeza as he goes back to using half of his power. "Just  
so you know, I will fight you, but only 5 more minutes remain until this planet explodes."  
  
"Why do you keep repeating that?" said Gohan. "I mean, this planet hasn't exploded for over an hour and it's  
taking forever to blow up!"  
  
"Forget it," said Freeza. "It's still going to blow up in 5 more minutes."  
  
"Can we fight now?" said Gohan.  
  
"Alright," said Freeza as he flies at Freeza.  
  
Gohan keeps Freeza busy by stalling. However, Freeza soon figures out what Gohan was really up to  
and stops him from trying to escape. Resorting to fighting, Gohan tries to battle Freeza, but loses.  
  
"Now, it's time to die," said Freeza as he goes back to 100% of his power.  
  
"Dad, I'm sorry..." said Gohan.  
  
Suddenly, a light shines from beneath the ocean. Gohan and Freeza look down as they see a platform  
rise from out of the water with a small lightbulb on it. A voice out of nowhere starts talking.  
  
"This is the dedication of the lightbulb," said the woman's voice as Freeza and Gohan both facevault.  
  
"Wait a second," said Gohan. "I thought my dad was supposed to come out of the water!"  
  
"What?!" said Freeza as he looks above Gohan's head.  
  
"I mean, that ungrateful b****** was lucky I was able to keep you busy for about 3 minutes, but I  
know that it was still not enough!" said Gohan. He destroys the platform.  
  
"Gohan, you son of a b****!" said Goku. His shirt was torn off, his pants were torn up, and he was  
breathing hard from the attack. "I told you to get the f*** off this planet!"  
  
"Well excuse me dad, but I've come back to talk you into coming home with me and to apologize for   
calling you an ungrateful b******, but I won't now!" said Gohan as he leaves angry.  
  
"YOU ARE SO GROUNDED FOR A YEAR FROM FIGHTING WHEN I GET HOME!" said Goku.  
  
"Whatever," said Gohan under his breath.  
  
*******  
  
"So, should I gather the Dragon Balls, Kami?" said Mr. Popo.  
  
"If you want to. I rather just stand here for an eternity. I still can't believe you got scared to death for   
me coming back to life!" said Kami as he continues laughing.  
  
"I'm going to get the Dragon Balls," said Mr. Popo. "Contact King Kai."  
  
"Fine," said Kami as he stops laughing.  
  
*******  
  
*Hey, King Kai!* said Kami.  
  
"Kami! Finally! Someone who hasn't gone crazy!" said King Kai.  
  
*Yes, I was laughing at Mr. Popo for the last few episodes, so I didn't really pay much attention to the   
script at all,* said Kami. *I was supposed to say that I was still alive after Freeza nuked the planet an  
episode ago, but I was too busy laughing. Anyways, Mr. Popo is gathering all of the Dragon Balls and  
will wish your students back to life.*  
  
"I don't think you should," said King Kai. "Just wish for everyone who died at the hands of Freeza and  
his henchmen back to life so we can wish them back once I..."  
  
"Shut-up in there!" said Chou-zu as he hits King Kai with a stick through the cell door.  
  
"Ooff!" said King Kai.  
  
*I understand,* said Kami. *We'll wish them back later!*  
  
"And in a year, can you wish me out of this prison too?" said King Kai.  
  
"What did I say?!" said Chou-zu as he hits King Kai with the stick again.  
  
"Ahhhh!" said King Kai.  
  
*We'll see,* said Kami. *Later.*  
  
'This is no way for them to treat a king!' thought King Kai.  
  
"I heard that," said Chou-zu. "It's the torchure chamber for you!"  
  
"NO! NOT THE LITTLE BUNNY RABBITS!" cried King Kai.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: Will Goku be able to defeat Freeza? Will Gohan ever apologize to Goku? Can the Eternal Dragon  
bring back everyone killed by Freeza and his henchmen? Will King Kai survive the torchure chamber?  
When will the 5 minutes be over? Find out next time As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
Bardock: I wasn't even in this one!  
  
K. Vegeta: So?  
  
Bardock: I wanted to have some fun!  
  
CMG: Well, I didn't really have a lot of time to write this one since I have to go to work.  
  
Bardock: I hope you remember the promise.  
  
CMG: Oh you mean about beating Freeza when he's "half the man" he used to be?  
  
Bardock: That's right!  
  
CMG: Don't worry. It will come soon. Besides, we still have another 5 minutes...  
  
Everyone: NOOOOO!!!!! (runs away)  
  
CMG: What?! I think in 5 more minutes, work can be over. I think in another 5 minutes, I can actually  
write a whole other chapter. But we all know that in another 5 minutes, I can just post this on the Internet  
and let those who read these fanfics review them.  
  
Well, the next chapter is a big surprise, so check back often because it might take a few days to post  
depending on my mood. Seriously. It won't take another 5 minutes to post another fanfic because Freeza  
said it would take that long. Until next time, later.  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta * 


	7. Revival and the Escape Plans

Revival and the Escape Plans  
  
A/N: Let's see, do I own them? (checks her sources) Nope. DBZ or anything else I put in this story isn't mine  
and will never be mine. On the last episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, CMG tells the others something  
that drove them insane yet again, as more chaos seemed to happen on King Kai's Planet. Back on Namek,  
King Vegeta gets his turn using Goku's body for awhile, but they end up getting buried into the ground. Gohan  
returns to apologize to his father, but Freeza was there waiting for him.  
  
Gohan: Even though you killed my father, I'm still alive and I'm only a half-Saiya-jin! I was going to apologize   
to him for calling him an ungrateful b******, but you killed him.  
  
Freeza irratates our little half-Saiya-jin about the planet getting destroyed in 5 minutes as he tries to stall until  
the planet explodes. However, he falls short and a miracle happens. It seems that our hero, Goku managed  
to survive from Freeza's attack.  
  
Goku: Gohan, you son of a b****! I told you to get the f*** off this planet!  
  
Gohan: Well excuse me dad, but I've come back to talk you into coming home with me and to apologize for   
calling you an ungrateful b******, but I won't now!  
  
Goku: YOU ARE SO GROUNDED FOR A YEAR FROM FIGHTING WHEN I GET HOME!  
  
And it seems that Kami has some good news for the imprisoned King Kai as he learns that Mr. Popo was  
going after the Dragon Balls to wish back the Nameks back to life. But will it be in time or will Namek  
actually explode...  
  
Freeza: In 5 more minutes!  
  
Yamcha: (from 2 episodes ago) 'In another five minutes' my a**!  
  
Actually, when will these five minutes be over?! I can't take it anymore! (narrator jumps out the window   
screaming)  
  
CMG: We need a new narrator. Any takers? (a bunch of hands go up in the air.) Never mind, I'll do it.  
(clears throat) Will Goku defeat that terrible gay a** w***e Freeza? Will King Kai ever survive being  
tortured by the little bunny rabbits?  
  
King Kai: NO! NOT THE LITTLE BUNNY RABBITS!  
  
CMG: And can anyone tell me where I can actually find the answers to all of these weird questions that  
I'm asking? (looks around as crickets chirp) Oh yeah. Silly me. Tune in today As the Planet Namek Burns  
to find out.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
In a dark and damp cell, King Kai's sunglasses seemed gray as he lies there shaking. He seemed to have  
gone without food for many days. He is lying there on the cell door in the darkness when he hears a door  
opening.  
  
"Hey," said a voice. "Come on. I'll get you out of here."  
  
"Huh?" said King Kai as he looks at a familiar person. "Who are you?"  
  
"ALLY TO GOOD! NIGHTMARE TO YOU!" said the voice as King Kai freaks out. "I'm just kidding  
around. Come on!"  
  
King Kai gets up carefully. The person was a boy, but all he saw was his shadowed figure. King Kai takes  
out a handkerchief and wipes his gray sunglasses which return to normal as the boy started to become so  
clear to him. When he recognized him, he screamed.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" cried King Kai.  
  
Meanwhile in a weird base set up where King Kai's house used to be...  
  
-PRISONER ESCAPED! PRISONER ESCAPED!- said a woman's voice over the public announcements as  
the alarms go off.  
  
"Status report," said Yamcha.  
  
"The prisoner has escaped," said Tien over the radio.  
  
"D*** you! I already know that!" said Yamcha. "Emperor Chou-zu will not be pleased!"  
  
-In A.D. 21, war was the beginning,- said a woman's voice.  
  
Suddenly, a bomb goes off and Chou-zu goes flying into the window where Yamcha is. Tien walks inside   
the shelter as they notice explosions all over the screen.  
  
"What happen?" said Tien.  
  
"Someone set us up the bomb," said Yamcha.  
  
"We get signal!" said Tien.  
  
"On-screen," said Yamcha. The purple-haired boy's image appears in the projection.  
  
"It's you!" said Chou-zu.  
  
"How are you gentleman! All of your base are belong to us. You are on a pathway of destruction," said  
the purple-haired boy.  
  
"What did you say?" said Tien.  
  
"You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha, ha, ha..." said the purple-haired boy as the image  
disappears.  
  
(10 brownie point for those Japanese game fans who can guess where this scene came from. And yes, I   
don't own that, either.)  
  
*******  
  
Meanwhile on Namek, Goku and Freeza were playing a deadly game of mercy. The ground caves in from  
beneath them as they show no signs of giving. However, Freeza soon falls to his knees.  
  
"Say it," said Goku.  
  
"Never," said Freeza.  
  
"F*** you, b****!" yelled Goku. "Cry mercy!"  
  
"You would want me to f*** you, wouldn't you?" said Freeza. "Let's go back to my ship and..."  
  
"We are not going there, you gay a** w***e!" said Goku.  
  
"Fine," said Freeza before Goku head bashes Freeza in the head.  
  
*******  
  
"Thanks for the rescue," said King Kai. "But tell me, why did you come back to save me after what  
I said a few chapters ago?"  
  
"Because I have to tell Goku something," said the boy.  
  
"He's not here right now," said King Kai. "He's on..."  
  
"I'm right here!" said Yamcha.  
  
"Huh?" said King Kai.  
  
"Goku?" said the boy. "Wait. What happened to your hair?"  
  
"It's a long story," said Yamcha. "So, what do you have to tell me?"  
  
"We can't talk here," said the boy. "Let's talk somewhere else."  
  
"Sure," said Yamcha as he follows Trunks to the fallout shelter. "So, what did you want to tell me?"  
  
"Well first off, I need your undivided trust," said the boy. "Can you turn into a Super Saiya-jin at free  
will?"  
  
'Oh s***!' thought Yamcha.  
  
"Well?" said the boy.  
  
"No, not really," said Yamcha.  
  
"Figures," said the boy. "I guess you're not used to it yet since it's pretty hard to control."  
  
"That's right," said Yamcha.  
  
"Wait a second," said the boy. "Are you really Goku? If so, what color are a Super Saiya-jin's eyes?"  
  
'Great, I forgot,' thought Yamcha when he notices a blue bird. "Are the eyes blue?"  
  
"That's right," said the boy. "I guess you've looked at your reflection at least once and remembered  
that one. Next question. What color is a Super Saiya-jin's hair?"  
  
'Oh no!' thought Yamcha as he noticed the bird's wings had yellow feathers under his wings. "Is it yellow?"  
  
"That's right," said the boy. "Last question. How did you transform into a Super Saiya-jin."  
  
'Oh no! I don't know this one!' thought Yamcha, but then he noticed the bird fly away into the sky where  
for some strange reason, there was a cloud up in the sky that looked like Krillin's head. "Krillin..."  
  
"Krillin, huh?" said the boy. "What happened to him?"  
  
"Freeza killed him! That ungrateful b****!" said Yamcha.  
  
"Calm down," said the boy. "I don't want you going Super Saiya-jin if you cannot control it!" said the boy.  
  
The halo over Yamcha's head stretches over his hair and made it look gold. Somehow, his eyes seemed to  
turn blue. The boy was overwhelmed by what happened.  
  
"Whoa! You are Goku! Sweet!" said the boy. "You can power down now."  
  
"Okay," said Yamcha as his halo seemed to fly off of his head and his eyes returned to normal.  
  
"I trust you," said the boy, "but you cannot tell anyone else about it, alright?"  
  
"Sure," said Yamcha.  
  
"Thank you," said the boy. "My name is Trunks, and I'm..."  
  
"You're name is Trunks?" said Yamcha as he starts laughing. "Who would name you that? Underwear boy!"  
  
"Enough!" yelled Trunks. "Now, as I was saying, I'm half-Saiya-jin, half Earthling."  
  
"So, WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" said Yamcha.  
  
"Vegeta," said Trunks as Yamcha facevaults.  
  
"V-V-Vegeta?" said a shocked Yamcha.  
  
*******  
  
"Five more minutes," said Freeza. "Yes five more f***en minutes until this planet explodes!"  
  
"Will you ever stop saying that?" said Goku.  
  
"No," said Freeza.  
  
*******  
  
"Arise Eternal Dragon!" said Mr. Popo as he summons Shenlong.  
  
"You know the drill by now, so state your wish!" said Shenlong. "I need to talk to my agent about GT, okay?"  
  
"Yes, I would like you to bring all of the people that Freeza and his henchmen killed back to life," said Mr. Popo.  
  
"Would you like me to bring back Vegeta too?" said Shenlong.  
  
"If you want to," said Mr. Popo.  
  
"Fine," said Shenlong as his eyes glow red.  
  
*******  
  
"Huh?" said Vegeta as his hand starts to disappear.  
  
"It seems that you're being wished back to life," said Bardock.  
  
"I don't want to be wished back!" cries Vegeta in a whiny voice. "I want to possess Kakarot's body and  
make him toy with Freeza some more!"  
  
"Just go, you whiny brat for a son," said King Vegeta. "If not, I will disown you like Bardock was going to!"  
  
"Fine 'dad'," said Vegeta as he disappears.  
  
"So, it's still my turn, isn't it?" said Bardock.  
  
"Have fun," said King Vegeta. "Besides, we won't get another chance to do this."  
  
"Yeah!" said Bardock in a child-like voice. "Okay, Bibi-di! Send me now!"  
  
"Fine, fine," said Bibi-di as he turns towards the reader. "Who were expecting? Satan? Besides, I have a  
pretty slim chance appearing in the Buu Saga anyways, so what the hell? Might as well cause some havoc  
on Namek!" Bibi-di laughs and a stone falls on his head. "Ouch! That's hot!"  
  
*******  
  
"So let me get this straight," said Yamcha. "I'm going to die of a heart virus, the Androids are going to kill  
all of the Z Fighters, and you are the only one who survives? You're life must suck a ton!"  
  
"That's why I'm here to fix the past," said Trunks. "Will you fight?"  
  
"Hell ya!" said Yamcha as flames spew out from behind him, as Bardock's spirit goes flying.  
  
"So long, suckers!" said Bardock.  
  
"Huh?" said everyone.  
  
"I'm off to Namek!" said Bardock.  
  
"Send us a postcard!" said Yamcha.  
  
"I knew my mother could trust you," said Trunks as he pulls a little vial from his pocket. "This is the   
antidote that my mother made. When the first side effects come, take it and you should be fine."  
  
"Who is your mother?" said Yamcha.  
  
"My mother is Bulma," said Trunks as Yamcha's mouth drops to the ground and he facevaults.  
  
"Bulma's your mother?" said Yamcha. 'You're going to die, carrot top!'  
  
"Yes," said Trunks as Yamcha gets up. "But please don't say anything, or else I will not be born."  
  
'Like I'd want Vegeta to take my woman anyways,' thought Yamcha. "Sure."  
  
"Okay, I got to go now," said Trunks. "I'll see you in three years!"  
  
"Bye!" said Yamcha as Trunks leaves. 'Thanks for the tip, you b******!'  
  
*******  
  
'Man, this b**** doesn't want to give up, does he?' thought Goku.  
  
"Give up," said Freeza.  
  
Little does Freeza know that Bardock has possessed Goku now. Things are about to get interesting...  
  
*******  
  
"Okay, I'm finished," said Shenlong.  
  
"Thanks," said Mr. Popo.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," said Shenlong. "Later."  
  
The Dragon disappears as the Dragon Balls fly off into the sky. Mr. Popo looks around him and finds a  
piece of candy. He picks it up and is caught in a trap. A hundred little kids dressed in native outfits gather  
around Mr. Popo as he struggles to get free. However, the kids free him after he gives them back all of  
the candy he stole from them.  
  
*******  
  
'Am I alive?' thought Guru as he lifts his hand. 'Let me see...'  
  
Guru, the Namek Elder decided to test his theory, so he does something that had to be censored. He  
was doing something in sign language. (You know what I mean when someone gives another person 'the  
finger'.) Anyways, he learns that he is alive and so are the others.  
  
*******  
  
Out of the ocean, Porunga comes out and just hovers there in the sky.  
  
"Hey," said Porunga. "Wasn't I dead?"  
  
*******  
  
Now back to our battlefield, Freeza looks at Goku as he noticed that he was smiling funny.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" said Freeza.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know," said Bardock. "I've gotten my son under my control again, but this time,  
you're going down!"  
  
"Ah s***! Why can't you Saiya-jin just wait for me in hell and beat me up with your army?" said Freeza.  
  
"You know, I think I'll do that," said Bardock. "But first, my revenge!"  
  
Bardock/Goku took an energy orb and lunged it at Freeza. He was prepared for it.  
  
"Oh please," said Freeza. "I don't forget our first battle in space where you met your tragic defeat."  
  
"Well, it's different this time," said Bardock as he holds his hands out. The orb of light starts flying  
around in circles (think of what Yamcha did in Tree of Might) as he makes it hit Freeza from behind and  
have it explode. Freeza goes flying into a table and doesn't get up easily.  
  
"You fool!" said Freeza. "How dare you make a monkey out of me?"  
  
"I didn't know you were a monkey!" said Bardock. "I thought you were a b****!"  
  
*******  
  
Somewhere on a forgotten region of Namek that isn't burning yet, a lone makeshift grave with flowers on   
it is where Vegeta lays dead and forgotten. Suddenly, the clouds open and sunlight hits the grave. A booming  
voice is heard.  
  
"Rise from the grave," said the voice, "and rescue my daughter."  
  
(Got that one from an old version of the Sega games. 5 brownie points on which game it's from.)  
  
Vegeta gets up. "Ungh! I'm not rescuing your daughter, you b******! And why are there flowers on my grave?  
I'm allergic to them!"  
  
Vegeta starts a sneezing fit to prove his point before blasting the flowers.  
  
*******  
  
On an island nearby the Eternal Dragon, a young Namek stirs as he finds himself alive again.  
  
"Oh boy! I'm alive again," said Dende. "Now let me wait until Guru contacts me."  
  
*******  
  
"It seems like Phase 1 is complete," said King Kai. "Now it's time for Phase 2. Guru, can you hear me?  
I have a wish I want to make if you have one left."  
  
*What is this wish,* said Guru. *And yes, I think we still have one wish left. Name it.*  
  
"I want that everyone on Namek, except for Freeza to be moved to Earth," said King Kai.  
  
*Sure, I'll contact one of my people close to Porunga to make that wish right away,* said Guru.  
  
*NO! CHANGE THE WISH, YOU IDIOTS!* said a familiar voice. King Kai and Guru were shocked   
for a second.  
  
*******  
  
*Goku? Is that you?* said King Kai a bit afraid.  
  
*No, it's Bardock,* said Goku. *Of course it's me!*  
  
*Have you been listening to our conversation this whole time?* said King Kai.  
  
The no longer possessed Goku is dodging Freeza's energy attacks and creates an energy shield to keep  
himself aloft. *Yes and I want you to change the f***en wish!*  
  
*Not if you're talking like that, I won't!* said King Kai.  
  
*You're forgetting that he killed my best friend here!* said Goku.  
  
*Good point,* said King Kai.  
  
*And besides, if you do wish me to Earth, I'll leave it and hunt that b**** down in space,* said Goku.  
  
*But Goku! You need to go back with the others!* said King Kai.  
  
*No, please, let me continue,* said Goku. *If not, he'll come to Earth and kill everyone I care about  
and I don't want that to happen.*  
  
*Well, I guess you can stay, but you only got...* said King Kai.  
  
*Yeah, I know and guess what?* said Goku. *The planet still didn't blow up yet!*  
  
*No,* said King Kai. *You've only got until the end of the next episode to finish Freeza off,* said King  
Kai. *Besides, this one's pretty much over now.*  
  
*D***!* said Goku. *I guess the next episode's it, huh? Okay then. Make that wish or else I'll haunt you!*  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
CMG: It seems that our hero, Goku is making demands and will stay on Namek. But how long will Namek  
actually hold together before it explodes? Will Goku be able to defeat that b****, Freeza in time?  
  
Freeza: I'm telling you that I'm not a b****!  
  
CMG: Well, FUNimation made you sound like one!  
  
Freeza: (walks out to find out who made him sound like a woman so he could kill them)  
  
CMG: Will Gohan make it back to the spaceship in time? And will Vegeta get some allergy medicine? Find  
out next time As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
Vegeta: (sneezing) Why did that third class fool put flowers on my grave?  
  
Goku: (comes in as a Super Saiya-jin) It was a tradition.  
  
Vegeta: Hey! You've became a Super Saiya-jin. Sweet.  
  
Goku: You already know I've become one from possessing me too many times!  
  
Vegeta: Oh yeah, but I forgot because spirits don't really remember a lot about what happens when they  
die.  
  
Goku: That's true.  
  
Vegeta: So, are we going to have some beer?  
  
Goku: Sure. Those sports drinks are for losers!  
  
CMG: Can't you guys ever say things without drawing attention to yourselves?  
  
Goku/Vegeta: Shut-up!  
  
CMG: Fine. Later. (leaves)  
  
Next time on As the Planet Namek Burns, more character bashing is promised as Freeza gets his life cut in  
half, if you know what I mean.  
  
Freeza: Help... me...  
  
Bardock: I'll help you. (shoots a beam of light at Freeza which burns him) There. Now you got a nice tan and  
some energy. Later!  
  
CMG: Oops! Accidentally left the sound in the scene. Oh well. I'm only a beginner at this narration stuff. Oh  
well. Anyways, Freeza will finally get his just desserts and a surprising ending is ensured all on the next   
exciting episode on As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
Bardock: Are you actually going to let me do that?  
  
CMG: Yes.  
  
Bardock: (screams like a little girl) Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! (hugs CMG)  
  
CMG: Are you done now?  
  
Bardock: (lets go) Yes.  
  
CMG: Good. Now let's go. We got another story to write.  
  
Bardock: Sure.  
  
Don't forget to review. If you flame me, only flame me if you have a good reason. I'm surprised that I've  
gone this far in and I know there's no turning back now from doing this. Well, only if I have to do a few  
minor changes in the chapters I made some small grammar errors in, but heck. I've just haven't been trying  
hard enough the first time, so now, I'm doing my half-best job. I know the possessing stuff is a bit weird,  
but heck. One fan said he wanted to see Bardock some more, so I'm going to keep my promise and make  
another fanfic about that father of the Legendary Super Saiya-jin And no. It's not Brolly since I despise that  
guy a ton and think his dad was cheating to make him into one. He sounds like a Pokemon repeating Goku's  
Saiya-jin name a ton, which gives me an idea for my next humor fic. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon  
as I can. Until next time, later, ya peeps.  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta *  



	8. Ding dong, the b**** is dead!

Ding, Dong, the B**** is Dead!  
  
A/N: Still don't own them.  
  
CMG: (narrator) On the last episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, Goku's possessed by Bardock  
as he continues his endless fight with Freeza. (Cue the "Endless Waltz" theme music here.) Meanwhile,  
King Kai is rescued by the boy who set his planet on fire during the 3rd episode and manages to do an  
recently overused skit (by some "other" fanfic authors) with the dead Z Fighters...  
  
Boy: How are you gentleman! All of your base are belong to us. You are on a pathway of destruction.  
  
Tien: What did you say?  
  
Boy: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha, ha, ha... (image disappears)  
  
Then, the boy reveals himself as Trunks to Yamcha, who was pretending to be Goku so he could find  
out who he really is...  
  
Yamcha: So, WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!  
  
Trunks: Vegeta.  
  
Yamcha: (facevaults) V-V-Vegeta?  
  
Shocking enough, Yamcha finds out also that Bulma is Trunks' mother. His response:  
  
Yamcha: (thinking) You're going to die, carrot top!  
  
Back on Namek, Vegeta, Guru, and Dende found out that they are alive again. King Kai was planning  
on wishing everyone on Namek, except for Freeza to be wished to Earth. However, our hero, Goku  
had his own plans with Freeza...  
  
Goku: Yes and I want you to change the f***en wish!  
  
King Kai: Not if you're talking like that, I won't!  
  
Goku: You're forgetting that he killed my best friend here!  
  
As Goku continued to plead to King Kai about staying on the planet, King Kai told Goku that he only had  
one more episode to finish Freeza off. But, will our hero be able to put that b**** in his place? Or will Freeza  
have the last laugh. Find out today on As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Fire, FIRE!" said Beavis.  
  
"Shut-up, dip wad," said Butt-head.  
  
Somehow, these two boys wound up on Namek as it started to explode. They were not far from Goku's  
spaceship and walk in. Bulma bolts upright when she sees them enter the ship.  
  
"Whoa! Uh-huh," said Butt-head. "Come to Butt-head."  
  
"What are you doing here?" said Bulma.  
  
"No way! I want her!" said Beavis.  
  
"I saw her first," said Butt-head.  
  
"Hey! Shut-up!" said Piccolo as the boys turn around. He is on his knees breathing hard as the boys look  
at him wide-eyed.  
  
"Whoa!" said Butt-head.  
  
"Cool," said Beavis.  
  
"Don't make me kick your sorry a**** off this spaceship!" said Piccolo.  
  
"Calm down, Piccolo," said Bulma.  
  
"Piccolo," said Beavis. "Yea, that's cool."  
  
"You're injured from earlier and you need survive in order for the Dragon Balls to remain existing," said  
Bulma.  
  
"You said 'balls'," said Butt-head as he laughs.  
  
"Yeah," said Beavis.  
  
"Hey baby, want to come rock my dragon?" said Butt-head.  
  
"Shut-up, Butt-head," said Beavis.  
  
"No way," said Butt-head.  
  
'Please, say this is all a dream,' thought Bulma.  
  
*******  
  
*Dende...* said Guru's voice.  
  
"Well, it about d*** time you called," said Dende.  
  
*You little brat! You are so grounded later on!* said Guru's voice. *Now listen, I want you to make a wish,  
alright?*  
  
"Yes Guru," said Dende.  
  
*Okay, here's the wish...* said Guru's voice.  
  
*******  
  
"Am I -achoo!- alive?" said Vegeta. "I guess there's only one way to find out."  
  
Vegeta holds out his hand. He does the same thing Guru did in the last story and it was censored. Then, he  
did one more thing by punching his gut.  
  
"Yep! -achoo!- I'm alive! ALIVE!" cries Vegeta. "Hey, there's Kakarot! I'm going to play now!"  
  
*******  
  
Goku and Freeza are fighting up in the sky when Goku noticed that Porunga is back.  
  
'Good,' thought Goku as a smile comes across his face. 'The Dragon's back.'   
  
"What are you smiling about?" said Freeza as he looks into Goku's eyes. He noticed in the reflection  
of his blue eyes of the Dragon and smiles. "So, that's what you're smiling about."  
  
"Huh?" said Goku.  
  
"I see it in your eyes," said Freeza. "And now, I'm going to get my wish!"  
  
Freeza turns around and flies off with Goku trying to stop Freeza. Vegeta arrives as Dende lands near the  
Dragon. Everyone was in their places for this scene.  
  
"Kakarot, you old dog! You're a Super Saiya-jin!" said Vegeta.  
  
"You're a bit early, Vegeta," said Goku.  
  
"Shut-up! I like to make an entrance!" said Vegeta.  
  
"MAKE ME IMMORTAL!" cried Freeza.  
  
"Like the Beatles?" said Goku. "No!"  
  
Dende starts talking in Namekian and Porunga gets it. "Fine, I'll wish everyone, except those two to Earth."  
  
"What?!" said Freeza as Dende vanishes.  
  
"Before I disappear, here's a little going away present," said Vegeta as he prepares to fire an energy blast,  
but he disappears. "S***!"  
  
'I can't believe that his voice managed to stay a second longer though,' thought Goku.  
  
Everyone disappears on Namek except for Freeza and Goku. They just float there in the air as Goku smiled  
pretty satisfied.  
  
"What?!" said Freeza.  
  
"Don't start this s*** again," said Goku. "It's bad enough you did it at the end of Episode 3 and after the  
scene with the Saiya-jin's plot to possess me before I had to tell you to stop!"  
  
"No, I mean 'what the hell is going on?'" said Freeza.  
  
"Well, if you must know, we have the Dragon Balls on Earth, so we used them to bring back everyone that  
you and your henchmen killed back to life," said Goku. "Of course, Ken Starr didn't come back since I killed  
him, but what the heck? He was a lousy reporter anyways. Anyways, that was our wish and now for the other  
wish..."  
  
"No..." said Freeza. "You don't mean..."  
  
"Yep! We're going to be playing Survivor," said Goku.  
  
Freeza gets really p***ed off for this and renews his attack on Goku with a ton of rage. They continue their  
fight, for what seemed to be forever as they destroy the nearby condemned Namek homes. Of course, they  
did all of the destruction the wrecking crew was originally going to do in about 15 seconds and were not getting  
paid a dime for it.  
  
*******  
  
Back on Earth, the Nameks find themselves alive and on a beautiful planet. Dende heals Piccolo and Bulma  
wakes up from a very strange dream. Gohan is happy that Piccolo is alright, but he seemed worried.  
  
"Where's Goku?" said Piccolo. "Why are we back on Earth?"  
  
"He's still on Namek," said Dende.  
  
"D***!" said Piccolo.  
  
"It's just as well," said Vegeta. "I'm still mad at you for what you said earlier..."  
  
Flashback...  
  
"Make me immortal, green bean," said Vegeta.  
  
"Fine," said Dende. He mumbles a bunch of stuff, but Porunga dies before the wish was finished. "Oh no!  
Guru's dead!"  
  
"Am I immortal?" said Vegeta. "I don't feel any different!"  
  
*Dende, just lie to him, okay?* said Krillin.  
  
"You are," said Dende.  
  
"Then I'm going to kill Freeza and mount his head in my quarters once I return to his planet," said Vegeta.  
  
"Oh, there you are," said Freeza. "You were using my balls, huh? Naughty."  
  
"Ewww!" said Gohan, Krillin, and Dende.  
  
"Yes, and I'm immortal," said Vegeta.  
  
"Hmmm... we'll see about that," said Freeza.  
  
End flashback.  
  
"A bit later, I got cut and I knew if I was immortal, it would heal up, but it didn't and I knew then and there  
that you guys lied to me," said Vegeta. "So when I find the Dragon Balls, I'm going to wish for immortality."  
  
"I'm afraid you can't," said Piccolo. "The Dragon Balls turned to stone when you were wished back, so bad  
luck to you, ape-s***!"  
  
*******  
  
"I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!" cries Freeza as he makes another Death Bomb the size of a huge  
shopping mall and throws it at Goku.  
  
Goku catches the ball and struggles to keep it from destroying him. He manages to get enough strength  
to throw the Death Bomb into space. However, his aim wasn't true and it hits a neighboring planet which  
had only a desert life on it!  
  
"Hey! Watch where you're going!" said a biological male in a spaceship on another nearby planet.  
  
"Sorry," said Goku.  
  
"Now that was just cruel," said Freeza. "I was planning on planting trees on that planet and making another  
base out of it."  
  
"Yeah, like you did to the Planet Wexit?" said Goku.  
  
"Nah, that planet was destroyed a bit later when I sent your brother, Radditz there to finish it off with your  
cousin Turles," said Freeza. "However, that boy ran away after he destroyed it and joined a band of space  
pirates which went to your planet."  
  
"Wait a second," said Goku. "That was just a stupid movie!"  
  
"So?" said Freeza.  
  
"It was a pointless movie!" said Goku. "I mean, 'Look at me! I have a giant Tree of Might and I'm going  
to use it to take all of the planet's energy so I can grow some fruit that makes me super strong! Oh no! My  
cousin's got a Spirit Bomb and is going to kill me with it! But I manage to defeat him and laugh at him from  
up in my Tree of-'"  
  
"Enough!" said Freeza.  
  
"Fine," said Goku. "All I'm saying was that it didn't really fit in with the timeline and I wasn't strong enough  
to even use my Kaioken x10 yet. I mean I had trouble using the Kaioken x4 in the battle with Vegeta. Also,   
most of my friends were dead, including Piccolo, so that movie didn't make any sense at all."  
  
(Wait until you see what I do to that movie. If I get more reviews that is. ^_^)  
  
*******  
  
On King Kai's Planet, the dead Z Fighters watch Goku and Freeza fighting and are rolling when they hear  
Goku's impersonation of Turles. Little did they know that Turles was behind King Kai's house and already  
knocked Bubbles and Gregory out with a baseball bat.  
  
"So, you thought that was funny, huh?" said Turles.  
  
"Oh s***!" said Yamcha.  
  
"Ah, don't worry about him," said King Kai as he easily picks up Turles with one hand and throws him off  
the planet. Everyone stares at King Kai with their eyes bugging from their heads. "What?"  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be talking about Goku now?" said Chou-zu.  
  
"Oh yes," said King Kai. "It seems that Goku is not the same person we used to know and is considered  
to be very dangerous. How's that?"  
  
"Stupid," said Tien.  
  
"Well, I don't know his motives anymore and he seems so, well evil," said King Kai.  
  
The dead Z Fighters panic yet again. This time, an airplane sound wasn't heard in the background. It was  
more like the music in the movie Dead Zone was playing instead. (The scene were Piccolo is fighting one of  
Garlic Jr.'s henchmen.) There was chaos all over again as King Kai was thrown into another planetoid  
where an old lady lived. He crashed in her house and was chased around the planetoid by a cranky old  
lady with a rubber chicken.  
  
"Get out! Get out!" said the old woman as she hits King Kai with the rubber chicken.  
  
*******  
  
Goku and Freeza continue their fight and you know the drill by now. Nothing to see here. Let's leave them  
alone, okay? I promise that the best is yet to come.  
  
*******  
  
On Earth, Bulma is gathering 3 leaves together. Dende and Gohan watch with interest as she starts drawing  
a circle around them.  
  
"This is to tell if Freeza is really a girl or not," said Bulma. "All I need is a flame, and if all three leaves burn,  
that means that Freeza is definitely a girl and not a boy."  
  
"I'll light it," said Dende as he lights the leaves. They wait and a wind blows out the third leaf that was burned  
halfway.  
  
"That means he has no gender? EWWW!" said Bulma.  
  
"Duh," said Vegeta. "He has no gender, so that's why I call him a b****!"  
  
"Don't say that kind of stuff around the children! They can pick up bad habits!" said Bulma as she stares at  
Gohan with daggers which freaks him out.  
  
*******  
  
Well, we're back on Namek and they're still fighting, so why don't we just not pay any attention to them? Ah,  
the hell with it. Freeza is getting his a** whooped by our hero and is giving him the run for his money. He gets  
caught by Freeza as he starts bear hugging him. Little does he know of the surprise that will fall upon him.  
  
"Do you want to be my playmate?" said Freeza.  
  
"No thank you, b****!" said King Vegeta.  
  
"Oh s***!" said Freeza. "Don't you monkeys ever stop screwing around with other people's minds?"  
  
"Actually, this person doesn't seem to mind or even have one," said King Vegeta.  
  
Freeza chuckles. "Well, if I have you, I can dethrone you yet again."  
  
"Not likely," said King Vegeta as he rears Goku's head back into Freeza's face with all of his might and  
Goku's body gets free. Not only that, but Goku's mind was also freed temporarily from King Vegeta's  
fun.  
  
*D***!* thought King Vegeta. *I guess that blow did it!*  
  
"Huh?" said Goku as he noticed that he was out of Freeza's arms. "You sick, b****!"  
  
Freeza gets a hold of Goku's hair, but he starts punching Freeza in the gut. About the 16th time or something,  
he finally lets go, and then Goku gives Freeza another punch for a good measure and makes Freeza fly into  
a cliffside.  
  
"That's for messing up my hair," said Goku as he brushes it up with a comb that he pulled out of nowhere.  
  
Angry, Freeza lunges at Goku, but he lets Freeza hit him hard with blows that seemed to have drawn some more  
blood. Goku falls to the ground as Freeza lands beside his limp body. He spits on Goku's face, crosses his  
arms like the girl he really is as he crossed his left foot over his right one.  
  
"Well? Are you done playing?" said Freeza hurt as Goku gets to his feet. "I mean, I haven't even gotten the   
chance to..."  
  
"F*** you," said Goku.  
  
"Nice of you to finish my sentences," said Freeza as his fist went flying into Goku's face. However, Goku   
moved and punched Freeza in the gut for even bringing that topic up. He spits up a ton of blood (which isn't  
at all censored for you people who like these stories undubbed) as he falls to the ground, clutching his gut.  
  
"You are such a sick one, aren't you Freeza?" said Goku.  
  
"Well, my daddy did raise me to be a nice little princess and everything," said Freeza as Goku starts laughing   
at him. "I mean Lord and everything!"  
  
Freeza races towards Goku, but he managed to dodge everything Freeza threw and hits Freeza with many   
blows, including right in the place where people really shouldn't hit a guy. Then, Freeza managed to hit Goku  
and he flew back about 6 feet. Looking away, he looks back to see that Goku's gone again and Goku quickly  
counterattacks with a kick that sent Freeza flying. Quickly, Freeza fell on to the vault and does a few back flips before he dismounts off the vault, scoring a perfect 10. Since he won the gold metal, he stuck his tongue out at  
Goku before he tries to escape, but sadly to say, where ever he went, Goku was there waiting and he freaks  
out. Goku was done playing and starts attacking full out on Freeza. Soon, he lands on the cliff and Goku lands  
on the ground below him as he looked up at the tyrant in disgust.  
  
"When I get my hands on you, I'll pay you back 10x, no a 1000x!" said Freeza. Goku is silent for a minute, but  
then, he speaks.  
  
"Cash or credit?" said Goku with a smirk on his face. Freeza facevaults.  
  
"I meant in pain!" said Freeza.  
  
"Sorry, but I quit," said Goku.  
  
"What?!" said Freeza.  
  
"I felt your power level dropping ever since you've reached 100%. Your pride is torn to shreds and I'm   
satisfied," said Goku. "I'm satisfied that you've been finally beaten and by a monkey. Now go, Freeza. Run   
away and never come back to face me or face anyone on my planet."  
  
(3 brownie points if you tell me where some of that part came from.)  
  
"......" said Freeza.  
  
"Don't be naughty again, Freeza," said Goku. "I don't ever want to see your face again, b****!" Goku takes  
a deep breath and he fades out of SSJ. He looks in the reflection in a nearby puddle. "D***! My hair's messed   
up again! Oh wait. It's supposed to be like that. Silly me."  
  
"This isn't funny!" said Freeza as he whines at Goku. Freeza is angry as Goku takes off and leaves the pretty  
dingy battlefield. "YOU WON'T LEAVE HERE, ALIVE, YOU B******!" Freeza hurls a pink flying disk at  
Goku and it speeds ahead of him and stops in mid-air. Goku turns around towards Freeza, who's holding his  
hand in the air as he noticed a fresh slice was on his face. At that time, King Vegeta now possessed Goku  
again, so things are about to get really bad again folks.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU USE THAT STUPID TOY TO CUT THIS 3RD CLASSES' FACE, YOU B****!" yelled  
King Vegeta.  
  
"NO!" cries Freeza.  
  
"Huh?" said Goku as he wipes his hand across his face to see the blood on his hand. "YOU ARE A FOOL,  
FREEZA! I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE, AND YOU BLEW IT!"  
  
*Kakarot! He doesn't deserve another chance!* said Bardock. *He killed our people and he is going to kill  
you like he did to Krillin!*  
  
*Oh, thanks for bringing that up, dad,* said Goku as his hair flashes gold and his eyes turn blue again. Super  
Saiya-jin Goku has returned.  
  
'I p***ed him off!' thought Freeza as he starts chasing Goku around with the disk.  
  
"Ha! This is too easy!" said Goku as he stands there and gets cut in half.  
  
"Sucker!" said Freeza. However, it was just an after image trick. "D*** you, monkey! Stop toying with me!"  
  
"You first!" said Goku as he flies at Freeza.  
  
"Nice try, but that's not going to work," said Freeza as he lifts the disk above him and continues to chase  
Goku around with it. Freeza throws the disk into Goku's neck and is happy, but once again, it's an after   
image again. "Now, I'm going to double the fun!"  
  
Two disks chase around Goku as he thinks to himself. 'What a dumb a**!' He flies towards Freeza  
again, with the two disks following him.  
  
*******  
  
Meanwhile, on Earth, Vegeta is remembering the good old days with Nappa and Radditz.  
  
Flashback...  
  
"Do you think he caught us?" said Radditz as he, Vegeta and Nappa hide in a broom closet.  
  
"Nope, and he'll be surprised to see it too," said Vegeta.  
  
A scream is heard as the boys laugh. "He's a retard for trusting us that much!"  
  
"When I find out whoever's responsible for using my lipstick to draw on the walls of my room, I will torture  
them!" said a pretty ticked off Freeza. "D*** monkeys!"  
  
"Crud," said Vegeta.  
  
"I guess I shouldn't have written our names on the wall," said Nappa.  
  
"You idiot!" said Radditz as Zarbon opens the door.  
  
"Well what do we have here?" said Zarbon.  
  
"Oh s***!" said Vegeta.  
  
Later...  
  
"...and furthermore," said Freeza as Vegeta, Radditz, and Nappa have to clean the walls with their own   
tails, "I will not tolerate such behavior on this planet!"  
  
"Yes Lord Freeza," said the Saiya-jin.  
  
"After your done, you have to purge the planet Xubok," said Freeza.  
  
"Yes Lord Freeza," said the Saiya-jin.  
  
Much later...  
  
"I still can't believe that you gone and done that, Nappa!" said Radditz. "Vegeta, did you hear what actually  
happened to our home planet?"  
  
"Yes," said Vegeta. "I saw Freeza blow it up, you idiot."  
  
"Oh yeah," said Nappa.  
  
"Anyways, if we were the strongest fighters in the universe, we could pull these pranks easily," said Vegeta.  
  
Present.  
  
"And now that the day has arrived, I shall start by giving you a wedgie, kid!" said Vegeta.  
  
"Ha! The joke's on you, Vegeta," said Gohan. "I'm wearing Saiya-jin armor!"  
  
"D***!" said Vegeta.  
  
*******  
  
Freeza is still swinging those stupid disks after Goku. He noticed that Goku was trying the same trick  
yet again, but after nearly getting cut a couple of times, Freeza got scared out of his wits the second  
time when Goku created a wall of dust to confuse Freeza and nearly gets cut. He then gets decked by  
Goku and they start fighting hand to hand again. Throwing Freeza into the ground, Goku smiles, but Freeza  
starts getting up as one of his disks behind him was coming straight for him.  
  
"DON'T GET UP!" cried Goku, but it was too late and Freeza got cut in half from the waist down and his left  
arm was cut off. It seemed like the battle was finally over as things on Namek were looking pretty grim.  
  
"Ha! It only took 2 hours, 13 minutes, and 41 seconds to defeat you," said Goku. (Not really.) "It seems that  
all of these things were brought upon yourself, b****. I'm going home now. You're just going to die here if your  
fine with it and all. You truly are a little girl."  
  
Goku starts to walk away. "Uhhh... help..." Goku doesn't turn around and continues to walk in silence. The   
small voice is louder now. "...Help..." Goku turns around and finds Freeza with his right hand in front of him  
begging for his life. "Help...me..."  
  
"WHY?" yelled Goku. "You didn't spare the lives of those who beg for their lives, and you killed them all   
anyway. So why should I help you?"  
  
"Help me..." said Freeza.  
  
Goku's back was turned as Bardock possessed Goku at that moment.  
  
"I'll help you," said Bardock as he shoots a beam of light at Freeza, which burns him. "There. Now you got a   
nice tan and some energy. Later!"  
  
*Dad!* said Goku as he finally gains control of his mind within a minute or two.  
  
*What?!* said Bardock. *I gave him some energy didn't I?*  
  
*That was foolish!* said Goku at the same time he said, "Sorry, b****!"  
  
Freeza gets up. "So, what are you going to do? You don't have much time left!"  
  
"I'm going to get off this f***en planet now, so shut-up! You can survive in space, so leave, now." said Goku.  
  
*******  
  
Back on Earth, Guru grounds Dende for having a potty mouth and he had to sit in the time-out spot for about  
5 minutes (I am so cruel on that joke) as he starts coughing.  
  
"What's wrong," said Moori.  
  
"I think it's time," said Guru. "Come here, Moori."  
  
"Yes Guru?" said Moori.  
  
"I give you the power of the Dragon Balls," said Guru before he starts his coughing fit again and Moori gets  
the power.  
  
"Hey! What about the rest of us?" said a Namek.  
  
"You don't get dilly squat!" said Guru as he croaks.  
  
"Yeah!" said the Nameks. "Long live Moori!"  
  
"Aren't you guys supposed to be crying?" said Gohan.  
  
"I -sniff- am!" cried Vegeta. (Couldn't resist Vegeta fans!) Gohan, Bulma, and Dende facevault.  
  
*******  
  
Goku starts leaving as Freeza floats up in the air. "This planet's going to explode in 5 more minutes and you  
are stranded here. So how are you going to survive? My spaceship's damaged and won't take you anywhere  
since you don't know how to drive it at all."  
  
"I will live and you'll live too, b****!" said Goku as he flies off.  
  
As Goku flies off, Freeza started remembering their fight together. From Goku's Kaioken x20 to the Spirit  
Bomb, he was too powerful to be taken down. As he remembers these things, he remembered the pain being  
called a b**** so many times and was angry with him for calling him that, even if he was possessed or not.  
  
"For the last time," said Freeza, "I AM NOT A B****!!!!" He fires one final blast of energy at Goku using  
some of the energy that he got from him.  
  
Goku turns his head as he saw the energy blast coming right at him. The blast came closer and closer as he  
slowly turned around. When he completely turned around, he looked down at Freeza and cried, "YOU ARE  
TOO!!!" He blasts back, using all of the power he had left to fight Freeza as the beams connect. Goku's own  
energy attack managed to easily overpower Freeza's as it hits him on the ground.  
  
"NOOOO!!!" cries Freeza as he's fully absorbed in the light.  
  
A huge explosion is seen and after that, all Goku saw was the sea, so he drops another bundle of flowers that  
he had picked from earlier into the ocean. He then turns around and flies off. Then, Bardock and King Vegeta  
come in and look around at the destruction that was going on.  
  
"Do you think he's dead?" said Bardock.  
  
"No," said King Vegeta.  
  
"Oh," said Bardock. He smiles. "Do you want to blast his remains and damage him even further so his  
chances of surviving are lower than they are now?"  
  
"Okay," said King Vegeta as they start blasting energy attacks into the sea below them.  
  
*******  
  
"Freeza's dead!" said King Kai on his planetoid as the others stop fighting. Chou-zu had a dagger to Tien's  
throat, Tien had a gun to Yamcha's head, and Yamcha had a bottle of Rogaine to Chou-zu's head.  
  
"Ding dong, the b**** is dead," sang the dead Z Fighters, "which old b****, the evil b****! Ding dong the  
wicked b**** is dead!"  
  
"Now calm down!" said King Kai as the dead Z Fighters start dancing in circles.  
  
"Break out the beer!" said Yamcha.  
  
"Got it!" said Chou-zu as he gets it from underneath King Kai's bed.  
  
"Hey! You put that back!" said King Kai as Tien breaks out the beer mugs.  
  
"Let's party!" said Yamcha as he gets drunk. "Goku's going to die and we won't have to worry about him until   
the Androids arrive."  
  
"What androids?" said Tien.  
  
"The ones that are coming in about 3 years," said Yamcha.  
  
"Oh," said Chou-zu.  
  
"But in the meantime, let's party!" said Yamcha.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
CMG: Can Goku escape Namek before it blows up? If so, how? Since Freeza's ship is terribly damaged from  
a bunch of energy blasts it took earlier, will it be able to fly? Find out next time As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
Bardock: (smiles) Thank you, CMG again for letting me have some revenge! (hugs her)  
  
CMG: Ummm Bardock, the people are still reading this.  
  
Bardock: (lets go) Oh. Sorry.  
  
Goku: (flies in his SSJ form) Hey, don't you remember anything about the betting slips at all?  
  
CMG: The betting slips? (smirks) Oh, I see. I forgot that concept, but let's see, how are you supposed  
to claim your prize when no one's on the f***en planet?  
  
Bardock: Steal it?  
  
CMG: That is so cruel. (leaves.)  
  
Goku: Maybe I should, if I can find it...  
  
CMG: Next time, on As the Planet Namek Burns, Goku is stranded on a burning Planet Namek (where the  
title came from by the way) as the hour of the planet's own destruction draws near.  
  
Bob Vila: (runs in) Did someone say destruction? What about those homes I was going to destroy on Namek  
and make condos on the land?  
  
CMG: Well, first off, you're interrupting my narration by asking that question, second, it's already been done  
by Freeza and Goku within 15 seconds, and third, the land should be burning in molten lava by now.  
  
Bob Vila: How can two mere people destroy a dozen or more condemned houses in 15 seconds?  
  
CMG: (hands him the script) Here. Just read it.  
  
Bob Vila: (reads script) Well I'll be d***ed! That's amazing! Can they do that again?  
  
CMG: No.  
  
Bob Vila: D***! (walks out)  
  
CMG: Now as I was saying, will our hero be able to escape the burning planet alive? All the people are  
hoping for the best on the next episode of As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
Well, another chapter down, another chapter to go. And don't miss the story behind the escape since I plan  
on doing the Garlic Jr. Saga through Goku's point of view mostly and its going to be the continuing story  
of this saga since I want to actually goof off some more. Until next time, later.  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta *  



	9. I'm a Survivor! I'm Gonna Make It!

I'm a Survivor! I'm Gonna Make It!  
  
A/N: Don't own Destiny's Child, DBZ, Gundam Wing or anything else! Dang it! If I did own them, then I would   
have my own company and stuff.  
  
CMG: (narrator) On the last episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, the wish is made and Madonna got br- I  
mean all of the people were teleported off Namek and on to Earth except Goku and Freeza. They fight for what  
seemed to be forever as Freeza and Goku continued their rants after Goku accidentally destroys another planet  
with Freeza's attack...  
  
Freeza: Now that was just cruel. I was planning on planting trees on that planet and making another base out   
of it.  
  
Goku: Yeah, like you did to the Planet Wexit?  
  
Freeza: Nah, that planet was destroyed a bit later when I sent your brother, Radditz there to finish it off with  
your cousin Turles. However, that boy ran away after he destroyed it and joined a band of space pirates which  
went to your planet.  
  
Goku: Wait a second! That was just a stupid movie!  
  
Freeza: So?  
  
Goku: It was a pointless movie! I mean, 'Look at me! I have a giant Tree of Might and I'm going to use it to  
take all of the planet's energy so I can grow some fruit that makes me super strong! Oh no! My cousin's got   
a Spirit Bomb and is going to kill me with it! But I manage to defeat him and laugh at him from up in my Tree   
of-'  
  
Freeza: Enough!  
  
Meanwhile on King Kai's Planet, Turles pays them a visit, but King Kai immediately got rid of him and   
explained that Goku was a threat to society and should be considered to be dangerous. The Z Fighters  
panic after King Kai claimed him to be evil and attack again. Bulma finds out that Freeza has no gender  
and Vegeta claims that's correct. Back on Namek, time is running out as our favorite Saiya-jins, King  
Vegeta and Bardock continue to toy with Freeza. Once Freeza becomes half the man, Goku was about to  
leave when Freeza started begging for his life...  
  
Freeza: Help me...  
  
Bardock: (possessing Goku) I'll help you. (burns Freeza with a beam of light) There. Now you got a nice tan  
and some energy. Later!  
  
Doing perhaps the most foolish thing that any villian in this series would ever do, Freeza attacks Goku with  
all of the energy he was given. However, it backfires and he gets burned terribly. Now with Freeza out of the  
picture, will Goku escape Namek or will he die a terrible fiery death? Find out today on As the Planet Namek  
Burns.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Goku is flying towards Freeza's spaceship when he spots a mysterious giant robot just left there. He finds  
the door and walks inside where there are a bunch of shiny buttons. Goku hits the red button and the giant  
robot explodes. However, Goku was able to escape in time, so he just got a bit scratched.  
  
"Hey! That was my Gundam you destroyed!" said a young boy.  
  
"Shut-up!" said Goku. "Weren't you supposed to be on Earth?"  
  
"Oh yeah, silly me," said the boy as he vanishes.  
  
"Idiot," said Goku as he flies towards Freeza's spaceship and starts looking around for the control room.   
"Now let's see." The door opens and he finds a large room full of pictures of Goku. He shutters. "Oops!  
Wrong room." He runs down the hallway to another room and finds it full of bubbles and finds lights shining  
across the floor from a disco ball. "The dancing room? This is strange..." He continues to run down the hall  
as pipes let off steam and finds another room. "Huh?" He finds this room full of food. "Hmmm... food..."  
  
*Kakarot!* yelled Bardock and King Vegeta. *Eat later on Yardrat!*  
  
*But I'm hungry!* whined Goku.  
  
*If you eat, you'll die!* said Bardock.  
  
*Fine,* pouted Goku as he ran down the hallway.  
  
*******  
  
"So, the chances of Goku surviving on a planet that should of exploded almost 3 hours ago is 1,786,932,021   
to 1?" said Bulma.  
  
"Unless you count the spaceship that I could of won," said Gohan under his breath.  
  
"I just hope he survives," said Bulma.  
  
"Not me," said Vegeta. "When I get to become the strongest person in the universe, I also become the best  
prankster as well!"  
  
"Whatever, I still think my dad will survive," said Gohan.  
  
*******  
  
Goku finds the control room. Pressing a button, the ship comes on, but only for a few moments. After that, it  
shuts off again as sirens go off.  
  
"Stupid piece of s***!" said Goku.  
  
"Go to your room," said the ship's computer. "I will not tolerate such language on this ship!"  
  
"DIE!" cried Goku as he destroyed the ship's main computer and flies off the ship before it falls into lava.   
(Mmm... lava...) "Oh no! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"  
  
In moments, the scene becomes white and the planet explodes.  
  
*******  
  
"Goku!" cried King Kai. "He's dead! DEAD I tell you!"  
  
"Yeah," said the dead Z Fighters flatly.  
  
*******  
  
"I guess we should gather the Dragon Balls," said Bulma. "We got to wish back the others..."  
  
"Yeah, and the good news is that our dragon can bring back someone as many times as he wants,"  
said Dende.  
  
"Well, let's just wait 100+ days before they become active again," said Moori. "Do you think we can  
stay over at your place, Bulma?"  
  
"Only if you promise to let me have my boyfriend back in 100+ days," said Bulma.  
  
"It's a deal!" said Moori as they shake hands.  
  
*******  
  
Over the next 100+ days, the Namekian survivors stay at Bulma's. Vegeta taught the Namek boys how  
to play pranks on the Elders...  
  
"Bulma, can you please get me a glass of water?" said one of the Elders.  
  
"Coming right up," said Bulma as she puts the glass of water down on the table. She returns from the freezer  
and puts ice in the glass. She takes it to the Elder where he drinks the water. Snickers are heard from under  
the counter.  
  
"That's strange," said the Elder. "This water tastes diff-umph!"  
  
The elder runs to the bathroom where he starts throwing up. Vegeta and the Namek children run out of the  
kitchen and run outside where they whistle innocently.  
  
"I wonder what's wrong with the water?" said Bulma as she takes a sip. She then runs to the bathroom where  
she throws up.  
  
"That was fun!" said Dende.  
  
"Can we do it again?" said Cargo.  
  
"No, that would become too obvious," said Vegeta.  
  
Moori becomes the world's best golfer next to Tiger Woods...  
  
"Another Hole in 1," said Moori.  
  
"D***!" said Tiger Woods as he bends his golf club.  
  
And a familiar frog becomes part of the hawks' food chain...  
  
"Ribbit!" cried Captain Ginyu before he got eaten whole.  
  
*******  
  
"Now, it's time to summon the dragon," said Moori.  
  
Dende blabbers some gibberish and the dragon appears.  
  
"You have 3 wishes, speak them now," said Porunga.  
  
"My first wish is for the spirits of Krillin and Goku to be brought to this planet," said Bulma.  
  
Dende repeats it. "I brought Krillin's, but not Goku's since he's still alive."  
  
"D***!" said Vegeta.  
  
"My second wish is for Krillin to be revived," said Bulma as Dende repeats the wish.  
  
"Fine," said Porunga and Krillin appears out of thin air with one single hair on his head. Vegeta pulls it off.  
  
"You didn't need to harm that one little hair on my head!" said Krillin.  
  
"So, you looked like a dork with it!" said Vegeta.  
  
"The third wish is for Goku to be brought home," said Bulma as Dende repeats it for Porunga.  
  
"Sorry, but Goku doesn't want to come home," said Porunga.  
  
"D***!" said everyone.  
  
"Fine, then I'm going to space!" said Vegeta as he hi-jacks one of Capsule Corporation's spaceships and  
blast off to space.  
  
"Wait!" cried Dr. Briefs. "I forgot to put the anti-lock breaks on the spaceship!"  
  
"That's for cars dad," said Bulma.  
  
"Oh yeah, silly me," said Dr. Briefs.  
  
"Then bring back Yamcha," said Bulma as Dende repeats the wish.  
  
"Fine, fine," said Porunga as Yamcha falls on top of Bulma.  
  
"Get off me! You're heavy!" said Bulma.  
  
"Oops!" said Yamcha.  
  
*******  
  
In another 100+ days, Tien and Chou-zu came back and the Nameks left Earth, except for Piccolo/Nail and  
Kami. Gohan started studying again secretly under his mother's nose. Yamcha forgot about what Trunks told  
him would happen in 3+ years and lost the antidote. Tien and Chou-zu return to their mountain home and lived  
there happy for about 3+ years. As for Vegeta, he was touring space in a capsule spaceship with no anti-lock  
breaks.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
CMG: But now, our real fun begins on the next episode of As the Planet Namek Burns. Freeza's remains  
are found, Goku's escape is told and his arrival on the planet Yardrat will be a hit. Plus, we'll see Goku learning  
how to do the Instant Transmission and the havoc that follows. Find out on the next episode of As the Planet  
Namek Burns what will happen to our hero.  
  
Goku: (enters in SSJ form) Hey! How do you know what's going to happen?  
  
CMG: Well, as I said before, I am a fanfic writer, not a forecaster. Now even though I haven't seen you on  
Yardrat learning it, I'm going to fool around with the story.  
  
Bardock/King Vegeta: Can we still possess him?  
  
CMG: No.  
  
Bardock/King Vegeta: D***!  
  
Vegeta: (enters in) Look what I can do! (tries going SSJ, but only has a small strand turn gold.)  
  
Everyone: (not caring) That's nice, Vegeta.  
  
Vegeta: I hate all of you. (leaves)  
  
Sorry I took a while to update. Work, college, and the exams for the first few months were pretty scary! All the   
other stories are on hold until I get this series done with, okay? And please review, folks. I know this hasn't   
gotten better, but lately, I've been frozen alive pushing carts all day long and I'm still sort of trying to bring  
back some more humor, but it's a pretty weak attempt as you just read. Until next time, bye-bye everyone!  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta * 


	10. Instant Transmission 101

Instant Transmission 101  
  
A/N: Don't own anything in this fanfic. I'm doing this for fun, not for money or anything. So, don't sue me!  
  
CMG: Last time Goku dies, or does he? This is the story of how Goku survives in our nearly finished series,  
As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Goku is inside Freeza's spaceship when he sees a spaceship from earlier. A leprachun appears.  
  
"Are you Goku?" said the leprachun.  
  
"Yes, why do you ask?" said Goku.  
  
"Because I'm the Leprachun," said the leprachun as he pulls out a butcher knife.  
  
"Put that away," said Goku. "I need to get that ship."  
  
"Then go for it," said the leprachun. "I'll take your ticket stub, now get going!"  
  
"Thanks," said Goku as he runs towards the spaceship and pushes a few buttons. The ship blasts off as the  
leprachun watches.  
  
"Little does he know where I set the coordinates of the spaceship!" said the leprachun as he continues to  
fall, laughing until he falls into burning lava. "He will be surprised! Oh yeah, and I'm dying..."  
  
The planet expodes and the spaceship carries Goku towards his destination. Goku's hair becomes black as  
he falls unconscious. Freezing, Goku pulls a blanket from underneath his seat out as he wraps himself in a  
blanket that had the Teletubbies on it.  
  
*******  
  
(Is he alive?) said the first voice as Goku opens his eyes.  
  
"I guess I'm alive, 'cause I'm in a lot of pain!" said Goku before he loses consciousness again.  
  
(Okay, be careful,) said a second voice. (He looks like an alien.)  
  
(Should we kill him?) said a third voice.  
  
(No, he seems injured,) said the first voice. (Let's take him to our village and let Master Kogin see if he can look into this alien's mind.)  
  
(Right,) said the second voice as the Yardratians lifted Goku and carry him to their village.  
  
*******  
  
(Hmm?) said the Yardrat leader as the Yardratians bring Goku's unconscious body into his house.  
  
(Master Kogin,) said the first voice.  
  
(What is it, Togi?) said Kogin.  
  
(We found this alien outside of his spaceship and he looks evil,) said the second voice.  
  
(Put him down, Sten,) said Kogin. (I know I shouldn't do this, but I will look into his mind to see if we can   
trust him or not.)  
  
(If he's evil, can we eat him?) said the third voice.  
  
(No,) said Kogin. (He might have a disease that might kill us all, Vern.)  
  
(Fine,) said Vern as he and the other leave.  
  
(Now, let me see,) said Kogin as he pounds on Goku's head. (How does that technique work again?)  
  
Goku's hand lifted slowly. 'I got to show him that I'm not going to hurt them...'  
  
Kogin jumped back, but he noticed Goku's eyes open as he held his hand over his head. Kogin walked up  
slowly as Goku leaned forward a bit and closed his eyes again. Kogin felt Goku's mind connect with his as  
Goku managed to transfer some peaceful scenes into Kogin's mind before he showed his fight with Freeza  
and his transformation. Kogin freaked out as Goku fell unconscious again.  
  
(That poor man,) said Kogin. (He seemed to not know of the pain that he's carrying is his true source of  
power.)  
  
*******  
  
The Yardratians wait outside Kogin's little hut as he comes out.  
  
(We have nothing to be afraid of,) said Kogin. (He seems to come in peace, but he doesn't know our ways  
or our language.)  
  
(Is he a God?) said Togi.  
  
(No, he's a mortal like us,) said Kogin.  
  
"Ungh!" cried Goku from inside the hut.  
  
(The monster awakens,) said Sten. (We must flee!)  
  
(We are not fleeing,) said Kogin. (As I said before, he will not harm us.)  
  
(Fine, but if he kills you, don't come crying to me or I'll say, 'I told you so!' Master Kogin,) said Sten.  
  
*******  
  
Goku feels his body starting to tingle. He opens his eyes weakly as he sees Kogin healing Goku's wounds  
with his special abilities. Kogin noticed that Goku woke up and noticed that he was confused.  
  
"Huh?" said Goku. "Who are you?"  
  
(He seems to be talking in another language,) said Kogin. (I wonder if by any chance he knows telepathy.)  
  
Kogin taps his head. Goku nods his head yes and they both fall into a telepathic bond.  
  
*Can you understand me?* said Goku.  
  
*Yes, I can,* said Kogin. *Are you alright?*  
  
Goku gets up, but falls down. *My body's healed, but I'm still pretty weak.*  
  
*You must be hungry,* said Kogin. *Join me for dinner.*  
  
*Sure,* said Goku as Kogin turns his back towards Goku. *Huh?*  
  
*Grab on to my shoulder,* said Kogin. *We're going by Instant Transmission.*  
  
*Instant Transmission?* said Goku.  
  
*An ability that will teleport us to places in the speed of light,* said Kogin as Goku grabs on. *Hold on. We'll  
be at the dining hall in 1.4 seconds.*  
  
Goku and Kogin teleport.  
  
*******  
  
(So, Kogin says that the alien is mortal and he's not going to harm us,) said Vern.  
  
(And you buying this crap, Zeti?) said another Yardratian.  
  
(Of course, Liak,) said Zeti.  
  
(Master Kogin is coming!) said Togi.  
  
(Is he bringing the alien?) said Liak.  
  
(Yes,) said Sten.  
  
(I hope we don't die,) said Togi.  
  
Goku and Kogin walk in as the Yardratians look at them. Goku was wearing a orange robe with a blue sash. His  
messy orange pants are under his robe and his boots seemed to shine like new.  
  
(People of Yardrat,) said Kogin. (This man is Goku and he means us no harm.)  
  
The Yardratians cheer as some cooks come in with food. Goku sees that they were bringing enough food to feed  
about 100 armies. Kogin seats Goku on a pillow and then he starts eating fast. Goku noticed that he was eating  
as fast as he would if he was hungry and starts eating. The Yardratians notice that Goku was keeping up with  
Kogin's pace and sweatdrop.  
  
(He eats just like us!) said Togi.  
  
(I hope he's only going to eat his share!) said Zeti.  
  
(Nonsense, he can have all he wants,) said Kogin.  
  
"Huh?" said Goku as he starts to disappear.  
  
*Goku, the people on Earth want to wish you back,* said Porunga.  
  
*Tell them that I'll come back later,* said Goku as he takes another bite from his bread. *Please don't make me  
go back yet.*  
  
*Alright,* said Porunga.  
  
*I almost got wished back,* said Goku.  
  
*Why didn't you go?* said Kogin.  
  
*Because your Instant Transmission Technique is interesting,* said Goku.  
  
*It's not much,* said Kogin. *We use it only to travel in case something bad happens. Like if a powerful being  
came to our planet.*  
  
Goku's eyes turned blue, but he shook off the feeling. Kogin knew Goku was trying to forget something. The rest  
of them ate in silence.  
  
*That was a good meal!* said Goku after he finished eating. *It tastes like the food my wife cooks back on   
Earth!*  
  
*So, you're from Urth?* said Sten. *What is it like?*  
  
*It's a very peaceful planet, well except for some threats that we had from space and all,* said  
Goku. *You see, I'm a Saiya-jin and I've been sent long ago as a baby to destroy it.*  
  
*How come you didn't?* said Kogin.  
  
*I forgotten my mission and became a good person,* said Goku. *I saved Earth from so many evils, including  
from Vegeta. Recently, I came from Namek were Freeza...*  
  
Goku stopped talking as his hair started flashing. Kogin noticed that Goku had tears in his once again blue eyes   
that seemed to remain the same. The other Yardratians panicked and hid beneath the table while Kogin put his  
hand on Goku's back. In moments, Goku falls asleep as the Yardratians gather around Goku's body. His hair  
turned black and remained that way as Kogin drew out Goku's memory.  
  
(I see why this man is trying to protect Earth now, but he seems to have a power that I don't even think he can  
control yet,) said Kogin.  
  
(Do you really want us to kill him now?) said Vern.  
  
(No,) said Kogin. (He's got a reason why he brought this power out and he's still trying to control it.)  
  
(Huh?) said Zeti.  
  
(When I peered into his memories, I also learned his language,) said Kogin. (By tomorrow, we should be able  
to talk without these d*** subtitles in front of our words.)  
  
(You said a bad word!) said Liak.  
  
(Go to your room, Liak,) said Kogin. (You all should too since I plan on comforting this Saiya-jin tonight.)  
  
(If you die, then I'm going to kill him,) said Vern as everyone leaves.  
  
"Goku, don't worry," said Kogin. "I will make sure that you will be able to control this power..."  
  
*******  
  
The next morning, everyone is eating, except for Kogin and Goku. Kogin was training Goku outside on another  
planet as Kogin started to project a holograph of Freeza with his mind. Goku was angry and goes SSJ again.  
  
"Now, control this anger," said Kogin as the image disappears.  
  
"Huh?" said Goku. "You've learned my language."  
  
"So have the others," said Kogin. "I am a fast learner and I want to help you gain control of this power you  
have."  
  
"Control?" said Goku.  
  
"I've heard a legend once that a Saiya-jin like you had the ability to transform into a powerful being by will and  
didn't do it out of anger," said Kogin.  
  
"That's if you see a full moon," said Goku. "I need anger to tranform."  
  
"Not necessarily," said Kogin. "Just let your heart be calm and pure when you transform..."  
  
"I'll try," said Goku as he powered down.  
  
"Let's begin," said Kogin.  
  
Goku started to power up, keeping his heart calm and pure like Kogin said. His hair started to flash, but he  
falls over. Just then, Vern appeared.  
  
"Vern! What are you doing here?" said Kogin.  
  
"As I said before, I'm going to kill him," said Vern as he aims a small energy blast at Goku.  
  
"NO!" cried Goku as he starts to transform without anger into a SSJ.  
  
"Now you've done it!" said Kogin. "You've angered him!"  
  
"Not really," said Goku as he smiles nicely.  
  
"You've did it!" said Kogin. "You've transformed without anger!"  
  
"I can do it by will now, too!" said Goku.  
  
"So, I can't kill him?" said Vern.  
  
"Vern, go to your room," said Kogin.  
  
"Yes, Master Kogin," said Vern in an angry voice as he teleports out.  
  
"You all know how to do that?" said Goku.  
  
"Yes," said Kogin. "Do you want to learn it?"  
  
"Sure," said Goku. "How do I do it?"  
  
"Well first, you have to concentrate on someone's life force or energy," said Kogin. "Next, you have to focus  
your mind on that destination so that everything inside and outside your body will teleport with you. You have  
to put both your index and middle finger on your head to teleport since we use only our middle finger to do it."  
  
"Let me try," said Goku as he does the steps. However, he left his clothing behind. Kogin shakes his head as  
Goku returns with a censor bar over his butt.  
  
"Wrong," said Kogin as Goku gets dressed.  
  
*******  
  
(This whole part takes place during the infamous Garlic Jr. Saga that really sucked. So, I won't even go there!)  
  
Meanwhile in space, Vegeta walks into a saloon on another planet as the music stops. He walks up to the  
counter as everyone watches him quietly sit down at the bar.  
  
"Give me some of your prized whiskey," said Vegeta as everyone continues to stare at him. "What are you  
low-class life forms looking at?"  
  
Everyone nervously looks away as the bar keep says, "That's reserved for Freeza." That angered Vegeta as  
he lurges at the bar keep.  
  
"He's dead since a Saiya-jin named Kakarot killed him on Namek," said Vegeta as he spits in a barrel. "Now  
give me that whiskey or I'll blow your head off!"  
  
"Yes sir!" said the bar keep as he pours Vegeta the special whiskey.  
  
"Thank you," said Vegeta as he takes a drink and spits it out. "What's in this anyways?"  
  
"100% alcohol," said the bar keep. "And a smidge of Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey."  
  
Vegeta lurges the bar keep over the counter as a bar fight takes place. Suddenly, Cooler enters the bar as  
the fighting stops. The bar keep runs back behind the counter as he tries to look relaxed.  
  
"I'll have the usual," said Cooler.  
  
"The monkey's drinking it," said the bar keep. "Guh!"  
  
"You've failed me!" said Cooler as he kills the bar keep. "Why?"  
  
"Because Freeza's dead," said Vegeta.  
  
Everyone pulls out their blaster guns and starts shooting them.  
  
"Not inside," croaked the bar keep.  
  
"Shut-up!" said everyone except Vegeta and Cooler.  
  
"Did you kill my brother," said Cooler.  
  
"Ain't had the chance," said Vegeta as he pulls out a cigarette. "A man by the name of Kakarot killed him, but  
he is known as Goku on Earth."  
  
"Goku?" said Cooler.  
  
"Yeah, do ya have a problem with it?" said Vegeta.  
  
"Yes, why couldn't he have been named Goku the Good Guy or Kakarot the Killer Saiya-jin?" said Cooler.  
  
"Because this ain't no western fanfic," said Vegeta.  
  
"Then why are you talking like that?" said Cooler.  
  
"'Cause I wanna," said Vegeta.  
  
"I'm going to kill that man and hang his head over my mantle," said Cooler as he runs off.  
  
"Hmph, it's your funeral, ambrae," said Vegeta.  
  
*******  
  
Back on Yardrat, Goku's trying the Instant Transmission again. This time, he teleports, but only an inch. Kogin  
facevaults.  
  
"No, you have to focus on another target other than me," said Kogin.  
  
"Oh," said Goku. "Maybe I should focus on one of Freeza's men..."  
  
Goku teleports.  
  
*******  
  
"Hi dad," said Goku.  
  
"Kakarot, how are you?" said Bardock.  
  
"Fine," said Goku. "Why haven't you returned to hell yet?"  
  
"Because, I still possess you and decided to take a break," said Bardock. "Anyways, if you're learning a new  
technique, you need proof, right? Take this."  
  
Bardock gives Goku his bandana. "But this is-" said Goku.  
  
"Go ahead," said Bardock. "I don't need it right now. 'Sides, I can buy a new fresh one later in hell when I use  
some of Freeza's blood."  
  
"Isn't Freeza still alive?" said Goku.  
  
"Thanks to you, he is," said Bardock. "Don't worry. Some demi-Saiya-jin will kill him."  
  
"I better go. Bye!" said Goku.  
  
"Ah what the hell, I love you man!" said Bardock as he hugs his son.  
  
"Umm... okay. Bye!" said Goku as he teleports out.  
  
*******  
  
Kogin is pleased when Goku returns.  
  
"You finally did it right," said Kogin.  
  
"Yeah, I went to visit my dad on the planet Centi and right now, he's taking a vacation before he goes back to hell,"  
said Goku.  
  
"Was he supposed to be dead?" said Kogin.  
  
"Yes, but he and King Vegeta possess me every now and then to do something unthinkable," said Goku.  
  
"I know a way I can make it so that they cannot possess you anymore," said Kogin. "It's an ancient Yardratian  
technique that allows the person to expel demons from their bodies or in your case, a couple of dead Saiya-jin  
who decided to play around."  
  
"When do we start?" said Goku.  
  
"Hold on," said Kogin. "We need a moon crystal from the moon of Teria and that's a dangerous place since it's  
under King Cold's rule."  
  
"Don't worry," said Goku. "I'll keep my power level dangerously up in my Super Saiya-jin mode so they think  
that I'm King Cold."  
  
Goku teleports off.  
  
*******  
  
"There's a powerful being on the moon of Teria," said one of King Cold's men.  
  
"Should we send any men?" said another guy.  
  
"Nah," said the third one. "It's probably a wacko who's sugar high right now."  
  
"Besides," said the first one, "Vegeta's out there, so he can handle it by himself."  
  
"Did he betray us?" said the third one.  
  
"Who cares," said the second one. "He's good as dead anyways."  
  
"Go whoever you are and kick the Prince's a**!" said the fourth man as King Cold enters.  
  
"And you go to your room," said King Cold as the fourth man pouts.  
  
"Weren't you supposed to kill him?" said the second man.  
  
"No, we're going to need more men, so I'm not going to kill anyone else since we need them to fight some  
person known as "Goku" that almost killed my daugh- I mean son!" said King Cold.  
  
'They must be both gay,' thought the first guy.  
  
*******  
  
At that time on the planet Teria, Vegeta is training as he continues to try and go SSJ. At that moment, he felt  
a familiar energy level.  
  
"Kakarot?" said Vegeta. "It has to be!"  
  
Vegeta goes off to the moon, but a bunch of rocks start flying at him.  
  
On the moon, Goku is digging around for the crystal when he found it underneath a pretty freaken large rock  
that he threw at Vegeta. Teleporting away, Vegeta arrives too late to catch Goku. (Some of this was from the  
show, folks, except the concept with Goku digging around for a crystal.)  
  
*******  
  
"Okay, I've gotten the crystal," said Goku as he reverts to normal.  
  
"Good," said Kogin. "I shall work on the potion tonight. Tomorrow at sunrise, you should drink the potion for  
it to work."  
  
"Thanks," said Goku. "Goodnight."  
  
"Remember, tomorrow at sunrise, so you should get up early," said Kogin.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Will the potion work? Can Goku get rid of the possession that's scarred him greatly? If so, will he be able  
to return home? Find out next time in our final story of As the Planet Namek Burns.  
  
CMG: I'm almost done! (cheers) Make sure you stay tuned, because after I return, I should have another  
story to tell and if I get enough reviews, I'll make my version of the Tree of Might. Trust me. I have a good idea  
about what I'm going to put in that story and no, it won't be like Goku was saying:  
  
Goku: (from 2 episodes ago) It was a pointless movie! I mean, 'Look at me! I have a giant Tree of Might   
and I'm going to use it to take all of the planet's energy so I can grow some fruit that makes me super   
strong! Oh no! My cousin's got a Spirit Bomb and is going to kill me with it! But I manage to defeat him and   
laugh at him from up in my Tree of-'  
  
CMG: You get the idea, right? Well, it's not going to be like that and I might mention that they are cousins at  
one point in the story so you won't get confused. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go after more carts that  
seemed to have somehow got into our front yard. See ya!  
  
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta * 


	11. Later Amigos! Goku's Journey Home

Later Amigos! Goku's Journey Home  
  
CMG: Last time, Goku lands on the Planet Yardrat and met the Yardratians. He gets healed, learns how to do  
Instant Transmission, and gets the crystal to help him remove the curse. But will it work? Find out today on our  
final episode of As The Planet Namek Burns.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"So, I just drink this?" said Goku as he gets the potion from Master Kogin.  
  
"Yes, but it does has some side effects," said Kogin. "If you take it, you'll become contagious to Earthly viruses  
for some time, for maybe as long as a few years." (And he catches the heart virus. :P)  
  
"I'm going to take that chance," said Goku as he drinks the potion as the first rays hit his black hair. At first,  
nothing seemed to happen. Suddenly, his body starts to shine as he goes SSJ without powering up. His eyes  
seemed to have a golden tint inside them as Kogin flies back into a cliff.  
  
"Whoooo..." cried Kogin as he manages to teleport to safety.  
  
"Oops, sorry," said Goku as he stays in his Super Saiya-jin form.  
  
"It's alright," said Kogin. "You just got control of your body, so you just automatically powered up. Plus, your  
power level is above Freeza's even more, so you should be able to stop him.  
  
"Really?" said Goku. "Wow! But, I need my spaceship repaired since it got broken."  
  
"Don't worry," said Kogin. "The spaceship came with some instructions and we were able to read them, so the  
ship should be repaired in a couple more hours. In the meantime, we should prepare you for your return home."  
  
"Okay," said Goku.  
  
*******  
  
"Can I help you?" said Togi.  
  
"We need some new clothing for Goku," said Kogin.  
  
"Huh?" said Goku. "How come I'm getting new clothes?"  
  
"Your clothes seem torn up," said Togi. "And besides, you need to try on our latest threads!"  
  
Togi hands Goku a white sweatshirt, some brown pants, a half breast plate armor, and a white sash. Goku puts  
them on as Kogin hands Goku a pair of sandles.  
  
"No Kogin," said Togi. "I like this fashion a bit better. Call the fashion police!"  
  
About 5 minutes later, the fashion police arrived and started taking pictures of Goku's boots. They started to   
make a few molds and created boots like Goku's.  
  
"They aren't anything special and besides, their weighed!" said Goku.  
  
"Yeah, but they are just stylin'!" said a blonde haired female. She was in a pink jumpsuit with sunglasses on.  
  
"You have the right to be totally stylin'!" said Togi.  
  
Kogin and Goku had sweatdrops running down the backs of their heads.  
  
"I am married you know!" said Goku.  
  
"D***!" said Togi.  
  
"Go to your room, Togi," said Kogin.  
  
"Yes Master Kogin," said Togi as she teleports out.  
  
*******  
  
Meanwhile in space (again), Vegeta is on the spaceship when some weird things start to happen. He hears heavy  
breathing inside a mask or something like that as he turns around and sees King Vegeta.  
  
"Vegeta, I am your father," said King Vegeta.  
  
"No s***, Sherlock!" said Vegeta. "Now stop making that noise!"  
  
"Sorry," said King Vegeta as he stops the tape recorder that had the heavy breathing noise on it.  
  
"What are you doing here?" said Vegeta. "I'm out here trying to become a Super Saiya-jin and you're annoying  
me with your stupid gags!"  
  
"Let me just say that your chances of becoming a Super Saiya-jin at this rate are approximately  
183,023,506,735,439.5 to 1," said King Vegeta.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be supporting me?" said Vegeta.  
  
"No, when I gave you to Freeza long ago, I disowned you," said King Vegeta. "I even stripped you of your  
title."  
  
"What?!" cried Vegeta as his hair started to flash.  
  
'Hmm... one more push should do it,' thought King Vegeta. (Yes, I stole that one from the Cell Games, so sue me!)  
"I mean, you could of beaten Freeza if you only had the right motivation!"  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!!!" cried Vegeta as his hair remained blond for a few seconds before he fainted.  
  
'Hee, hee, sucker!' thought King Vegeta as he disappears.  
  
*******  
  
"Is the ship almost repaired?" said Kogin.  
  
"Not yet," said Vern. "Hey! Why don't you send that guy on a quest or something? I mean, we still have some   
time left in this show!"  
  
'Only because this is the last one,' thought Goku.  
  
"Well, we could send him on a scavenger hunt," said Kogin. "He would have to find about 8 items from across   
the universe and travel as far as Earth to try and find them all."  
  
"What's are my clues?" said Goku.  
  
"Here," said Kogin as he hands Goku a slip of paper. "Now find them and your ship will be done in no time!"  
  
"Okay," said Goku as he reads the first clue. "A strange light rock that shines like an energy blast..."  
  
*******  
  
Back on the hi-jacked spaceship with Capsule Corp written out and the words "Prince Vegeta's Ship" written  
in gold lettering, Vegeta is inside the spaceship regaining consciousness. He snaps his head up and finds a strange  
little kid with a brown furry tail inside the seat in front of him. Turning the chair he screams.  
  
"Who are you?" said Vegeta.  
  
"I am Chibi Vegeta," said the look alike.  
  
"I-impossible!" said Vegeta. "I'm Vegeta!"  
  
"Duh," said Chibi Vegeta. "I already said that I'm 'Chibi' Vegeta."  
  
"Oh," said Vegeta. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm supposed to be the reason why you continue to strive to become a Super Saiya-jin later on," said Chibi  
Vegeta.  
  
"Didn't you get hurt by Freeza?" said Vegeta.  
  
"Not yet," said Chibi Vegeta.  
  
"Listen kid," said Vegeta as he gets up, "whatever you do, make sure that you don't go around and call Freeza  
a b**** all the time, 'cause he can really tear me, I mean you up!"  
  
"Oh yeah, that's the other reason I'm here," said Chibi Vegeta. "It turns out that Kakarot didn't finish Freeza off  
on Namek and he's heading to Earth."  
  
"Then there's another chance to defeat him and regain my title as the Prince of all Saiya-jins!" said Vegeta.  
  
"Nah, I'm the Prince of all Saiya-jins," said Chibi Vegeta. "You are just a third class person since my father  
disowned you!"  
  
"I hate you father!" cried Vegeta as he goes Super Saiya-jin for about 9.3 seconds before he fainted again.  
  
"Hmph! I'm really glad I didn't grow up to be this guy," said Chibi Vegeta as he disappears. (Unfortunely, he did.)  
  
*******  
  
"Now the last clue is to find a strange stick that has a light on it," said Goku. "I know!"  
  
He teleports off to the Death Star (Yeah, I'm bending all the laws of physics in this story, so don't mind me) as  
spaceships scream out in space. On the Death Star at that moment, Luke and Darth Vader were duking it out  
with a light saber battle yet again. (And no, this isn't the third movie either just to scare you!)  
  
"I want to take the car tonight so I can take Leia out to a party!" said Luke.  
  
"Not on your (gasp) life!" said Darth Vader as they continue their fight.  
  
Goku appears. "Um excuse me."  
  
"What?!" said Darth Vader and Luke.  
  
"I can give you a car, Luke," said Goku.  
  
"Huh? What's the catch?" said Luke.  
  
"I want that light saber," said Goku.  
  
"Oh you mean this thing?" said Luke as he shows Goku his light saber. Darth Vader is confused, but puts his  
light saber away.  
  
"Yeah," said Goku. "Just give me a minute and I'll use my psychic abilities to bring you one!"  
  
Goku stretches his hand in front of him and starts concentrating. Luke was surprised when out of the garage  
came a new convertable. It's red paint shone as Goku puts the car down right in front of them.  
  
"Did you train with Yoda too?" said Luke.  
  
"No, but I might sometime when I get the chance," said Goku. "Right now, I'm training with the Yardratians and  
they seem to be nice people."  
  
"Well, here's what I owe you," said Luke as he gives Goku the light saber. "I hope we met again someday."  
  
"We will," said Goku as he teleports out.  
  
*******  
  
"It's finished!" said Liak. "Is the Saiya-jin back yet?"  
  
"No," said Kogin. "He's long overdue."  
  
"Finally, he's dead!" said Vern. "And we won't have to fear him anymore!"  
  
Suddenly, a strange and powerful alien vessel came out of the sky. It was as big as an apartment building as   
a tall figure stepped out. The alien had black eyes, gray skin, and had a pretty heck of a large power level. All  
of the Yardratians were afraid as the figure in black clothing held up his hand.  
  
*People of Yardrat,* said the being, *I am Uter.*  
  
Stan started giggling. "Your Uter? Isn't that part of a cow?"  
  
*Silence!* said Uter. *I have come to enslave this planet and continue the Planet Trade with Freeza. The lord  
and master will meanwhile be heading to Earth, so once they wipe out the entire race there, I will have you all  
as slaves and you shall work for them for an eternity!*  
  
"No!" cried Kogin. "We will not surrender!"  
  
*You have no choice!* said Uter as an energy blast flies at Kogin. He falls to the ground hurt badly.  
  
"Master Kogin!" cried Zeti as he runs to him.  
  
"You monster!" cried Vern as he lunges at Uter.  
  
*You are all powerless to stop me!* said Uter as he bats away Vern.  
  
Just then, Goku returns and catches Vern in his arms.  
  
"Are you alright?" said Goku.  
  
"You." said Vern. "Please help us..."  
  
*What?* said Uter as he sees Goku. *Who are you? You are not the Yardratians I want to enslave.*  
  
*You should know,* said Goku through telepathy. *You should remember the Saiya-jin that Freeza long ago  
thought were extinct. However, I live and so does another. My Saiya-jin name is not important, but my Earth  
name is Goku.*  
  
*Goku?* said Uter.  
  
"His Saiya-jin name is Kakarot," said Vern in Goku's arms.  
  
*Ah, the son of Bardock,* said Uter. *A third class pathic Saiya-jin who would be of no challenge to me should  
be honored at dying in the hands of a demi-God!*  
  
*You are no demi-God if you let these people suffer like this,* said Goku as he puts Vern down on the ground. *I  
care more about people than you should know.*  
  
*Your wrong,* said Uter. *You tried to kill Freeza back on Namek, but failed. You also let your best friend die.*  
  
*No!* cried Goku.  
  
"Don't listen to him," said Kogin as he sat up weakly. "He's reading your mind and trying to make you weaker!"  
  
*And here's the best part,* said Uter. *He's going to kill everyone on Earth!*  
  
Goku gasps. The Yardratians are afraid that Goku was about to let go and kill not only Uter, but everyone  
else too. In a loud cry, Goku's hair became blonde and his eyes blue. The Super Saiya-jin awakened and wasn't  
pleased. He was p***ed. A dark gold aura washed over him.  
  
*This isn't possible!* said Uter. *I didn't expect this!*  
  
Goku hissed. His muscles bulged as the ground beneath him gave away. The Yardratians couldn't hold their   
ground and went flying. Except Kogin was able to hold on as he created a shield around himself. He was still hurt  
and was getting weaker every second. He wanted to help Goku calm down.  
  
*Goku!* cried Kogin's voice in his mind. *Don't!*  
  
Goku stopped as his hair flickered.  
  
*Ah, so the old man is still alive!* said Uter.  
  
*Don't give into... your anger...* said Kogin's voice weakly. *Remember what I've... taught you and... life is  
something that... shouldn't be let... go so easily. Krillin is... proud of you... no matter what happened to him back  
on... Namek. Please... don't become... a monster and destroy life...*  
  
*Shut-up!* said Uter as he shoots a blast at Kogin. The shield holds as Goku watched in sadness.  
  
*Please, remember... who you are... don't worry about...* said Kogin as the shield gives away and the blast   
consumes him.  
  
'No,' thought Goku. 'I let him down. I cannot do that.'  
  
Goku's dark gold aura started to become lighter as the pureness in his heart started to let him regain control of  
his anger. Suddenly, Goku looked like a God compared to Uter as he panics.  
  
*It can't be-!* said Uter as Goku walked toward Uter.  
  
*You've hurted my teacher,* said Goku. *I will not let you get away with that!*  
  
*Milk Gun Attack!* cried Uter as a blinding white beam heads flying towards Goku. (Get it? Uter? Milk?)  
  
"Ka... me... ha... me... HA!" cried Goku as his blue beam flies. The beams hit each other and collide in a pretty  
big light show. Goku was losing.  
  
*Ha!* said Uter. *I am much stronger than you are since you don't want to kill me!*  
  
'He's right,' thought Goku. 'I am letting Kogin down...'  
  
*Goku, don't give him any ground,* said Kogin's voice.  
  
*Huh? Kogin?* said Goku. *I thought you were-!*  
  
*Well, at the last minute, I let down my shield and teleported, so I'm still alive,* said Kogin. *I've been healed  
by Sten and I've sent Vern to his room for trying to kill you again.*  
  
*What does he have against me?* said Goku.  
  
*He hated you until you saved him,* said Kogin. *Now let go of the pain of what Freeza's done to you and fight  
back. I know you're holding back, so give him everything you got!*  
  
*Yes, Master Kogin,* said Goku as he screams, "Super Kaioken!"  
  
The redish-gold tint flows through Goku's body as his Super Saiya-jin power doubled. The beam went flying  
through Uter's Milk Gun Attack (*snickers*) and engulfs Uter.  
  
*NOOOO!* cried Uter as he dissolves.  
  
Once he's gone, Goku tried to destroy the spaceship with a single blast, but he fainted. The Yardratians run   
towards Goku and carry him back to Master Kogin's home. There, Kogin and Sten both put him in bed to rest,   
read him a bedtime story, gave him a stuffed bear, and covered him up. Walking outside, Kogin saw all of the  
Yardratians raiding the spaceship for anything valuable and found nothing. So, they burned the ship later that  
night in a bonfire.  
  
"You know, he could of gone back in that ship," said Vern.  
  
"No, then Freeza would call him and ask for some guy named Uter and get killed," said Kogin. "The ship he  
has is fine. And besides, he does know the Instant Transmission technique very well now, so he could leave for  
Earth in the morning."  
  
*******  
  
Deep in space, Vegeta is once again waking up. This time, he's alone and decides to take another shot of  
Freeza's prized whiskey that he drugged on the ship with him. He gets drunk and starts seeing things.  
  
"Huh?!" said Vegeta as he finds himself on Earth. He is standing on a cliff and looks behind him. He sees a  
purple haired boy with a sword sitting there. He wears a blue jacket over his black shirt with some gray pants  
and yellow boots. 'He must be gay.' thought Vegeta.  
  
"Trunks," said Goku as he appears out of thin air. "What's going on?"  
  
"Oh, I'm just thinking of a way to ascend," said Trunks. "Of course, father doesn't know of a way either."  
  
'Father?' thought Vegeta. 'Don't tell me that that gay boy is my son!'  
  
Suddenly, the scene disappears. Vegeta wakes up gasping for air as sweat runs down the side of his face. He  
is breathing hard as he sees that the whiskey was dumped over while he slept. So, he was covered in it.  
  
"Stupid whiskey," said Vegeta as he throws the empty bottle in the wall where it shattered on impact.  
  
*******  
  
Goku wakes up in Master Kogin's hut. This time, he finds a note:  
  
----------------  
  
Dear Goku,  
  
It's time to go home. In case you're wondering how I wrote in your language, remember that I've gained your experience. We'll meet you in the village square today at noon so you can go home.  
  
Sincerely,  
Master Kogin  
  
P.S. - Hit the road, Jack and don't you come bac- I sent Vern to his room for making me write that.  
  
------------------  
  
"Well, I guess I should pack my bags," said Goku as he takes out a suitcase and starts packing plastic and paper bags from different businesses in the suitcase. Then, he drags the suitcase down 10,000 stairs to the curb. "Taxi!"  
  
A small wagon with a weird looking Yardratian came. "Where to?"  
  
"To the village square," said Goku. "And step on it, Terk."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," said Terk as he starts pulling the wagon. (A/N: Think of a strong Yardratian pulling a giant medevil wagon around.)  
  
*******  
  
"Well, is he here yet?" said Vern. "I can't wait until he's gone!"  
  
"Vern..." said Kogin.  
  
"Yes, I know," said Vern as he goes off to his room.  
  
"Hey! Sorry I'm late!" said Goku as the wagon arrives.  
  
"It's all right," said Kogin. "We were all going to see you off, well except for Vern anyways."  
  
"I see, but are you sure it'll be all right for me to take this ship back to Earth?" said Goku.  
  
"Of course," said Kogin. "We've did manage to fix it up and in case of emergency, you have the Instant Transmission to teleport out of the ship and save your planet if you need to. Anyways, good luck."  
  
"Thank you and goodbye everyone," said Goku as he jumps in the spaceship.  
  
"I hope for your sake, you don't catch a deadly virus from the medicine I gave you," said Kogin as he turns his back and leaves the square as the spaceship blasts off. A few minutes after Goku leaves, the Yardratians start building an idol to Goku and start throwing all of their scripts in the fire since they weren't going to ever be included in this story ever again (well, if I get more reviews, I'll make another story about them).  
  
*******  
  
Deep in space, Goku's spaceship flies around as he starts playing Tetris on the Gameboy inside of the cockpit. As he returns to Earth, he had no idea that King Cold's spaceship was tracking him.  
  
"Sir, we found an UFO," said one of the men.  
  
"UFO?! Tell me, why in the hell are you calling something flying out in space a UFO, Egin?" said King Cold.  
  
"Because we cannot identify it," said Egin.  
  
"Oh, I see," said King Cold. "On-screen."  
  
On the screen, they saw a planet that looked like a butt. All of the men on the spaceship facevaulted, including King Cold. Just then, they saw a small little shiny star flying past the planet.  
  
"Is that one of our spacepods?" said King Cold.  
  
"Perhaps," said Egin. "Let me try to talk to them."  
  
"Good," said King Cold.  
  
"Umm... excuse me, can you please identify yourself?" said Egin. "Hm?"  
  
"Well?" said King Cold.  
  
"Hold on a minute," said Egin as the whole spaceship heard the message. "Now repeat that more clearly?"  
  
"Hi, my name is Goku," said the voice as everyone on the spaceship facevaulted again. Freeza screamed from the other room while he was still being operated on and the technicians accidently probe some of their welding wires on Freeza's skin and gave him some more second to third degree burns. "If you are Freeza or anyone else, I will be waiting for you on Earth to make you pay for what you've done to Krillin and my friends. Please visit the official website sometime in the future and please leave your name, address, and telephone number after the beep." *BEEP!*  
  
"Ah, yes," said King Cold. "I am King Cold, father of Freeza, my daughter, I mean son." Snickers are heard from behind King Cold's back. "We are coming to Earth in 20 Earth days, so you better get your a** there before me if you want to see your friends alive."  
  
-Ending transmission,- said the computer as the contact was broken.  
  
*******  
  
Back in the spacepod, Goku is laughing for five minutes after the transmission ended and was practically in his SSJ form just trying to stay that way so he could get used to it.  
  
"Well, now that I'm done, I guess I should go ahead and get there before they do," said Goku. "Wait, I think I'll wait until they land and attack them. Besides, if I go now, who knows what might happen."  
  
So, he stayed on there and eventually, he returns to Earth. He meets Trunks (again), gets the medicine, and the rest is history. Or is it?  
  
*******  
  
On Vegeta's spaceship, Vegeta is now looking out the window opposite of Earth.  
  
"Hmm... I wonder if I can find some more hair gel on this spaceship," said Vegeta. "My hair's starting to do that flippy thing again..."  
  
The End  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
CMG: Cheers! I'm finally finished!  
  
Goku: (in his SSJ form flies in) It's about time! I'm glad I'm no longer possessed!  
  
Bardock and K. Vegeta: (crying) I wish we can possess him again!  
  
Vegeta: (walks in) Well, if you want, you can possess his idiotic son during the Cell Saga.  
  
Bardock and K. Vegeta: Hmm... a halfbreed...  
  
Goku: Oh no you two don't!  
  
Bardock: And why not?  
  
Goku: He's MY son first off and second...  
  
CMG: We got another story!  
  
All: What?!  
  
CMG: Just think. Who wants to see Gohan possessed by something while he's fighting Cell or Goku for that matter?  
  
Goku: Do I get a say in this?  
  
Vegeta, K. Vegeta, and Bardock: NO!  
  
Goku: (frowns and starts beating up Vegeta)  
  
Vegeta: Get your third-hands off of me, you Super B******!  
  
CMG: (runs away)  
  
Bardock: I got $20 on my son.  
  
K. Vegeta: You're on!  
  
So, are you interested in seeing something from the Infamous Cell Saga, Tree of Might, or any Bloopers that were never thought of? If you want to see more of Bardock, you know what to do and review! 


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